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caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room

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hey followers. have you ever wanted to know how it feels to be inside a bag of cornflakes

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me: hmmm what quote from 1984 should i put into my essay for class just to have more words

brain: welcome to tiny train world

me: absolutely not

brain: ENJOY NOT BEING ABLE TO CATCH A TRAIN ANYMORE

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we did it tumblr

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i cannot believe i haven’t seen anyone share this modern b. dylan hollis on tumblr yet

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“A Valentine’s cream pie, from 1959”

“Mhmm”

“Now I can't think of anything better for valentine's day than a good old-fashioned cream pie!”

“We're going to want a nine inch. I know I do too.”

“If you've got one, don't just force it in. Be gentle.”

“This finished a bit early. Happens to the best of us.”

“If your hand gets tired, just keep going. I'm single so I'm used to it.”

“Next, a cup of cream, whipped! Some people are into that.”

“Now we get to top, that's always fun!”

“Mm! I like that! I like that, very sweet but I like it!”

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I am apparently working on becoming a local cryptid at the store. Talents include:

Monitoring the changing of the seasons via mozzarella

Predicting the weather by picking up a piece of cheese and mysteriously saying “oh, the storm is gonna be bigger than we thought...” just before thunder

Mind reading, e.g. “Can you help me find a cheese? It’s called, uh... [starts fishing out shopping list]” “Gruyere?” “...yes O_o”

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Captioned TikToks: tomato soup cake (B. Dylan Hollis)

MasterList

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I'm so scared, what the fuck does this do to you

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how did u know

instagram.com/nathanwpyle

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