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caramel frappe give me the strength to clean my room
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#wtf is milk essence#is that just milk#with a stupid fancy name#or is it something real that i don't need to care about
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hey followers. have you ever wanted to know how it feels to be inside a bag of cornflakes
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me: hmmm what quote from 1984 should i put into my essay for class just to have more words
brain: welcome to tiny train world
me: absolutely not
brain: ENJOY NOT BEING ABLE TO CATCH A TRAIN ANYMORE
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i cannot believe i haven’t seen anyone share this modern b. dylan hollis on tumblr yet
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“A Valentine’s cream pie, from 1959”
“Mhmm”
“Now I can't think of anything better for valentine's day than a good old-fashioned cream pie!”
“We're going to want a nine inch. I know I do too.”
“If you've got one, don't just force it in. Be gentle.”
“This finished a bit early. Happens to the best of us.”
“If your hand gets tired, just keep going. I'm single so I'm used to it.”
“Next, a cup of cream, whipped! Some people are into that.”
“Now we get to top, that's always fun!”
“Mm! I like that! I like that, very sweet but I like it!”
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I am apparently working on becoming a local cryptid at the store. Talents include:
Monitoring the changing of the seasons via mozzarella
Predicting the weather by picking up a piece of cheese and mysteriously saying “oh, the storm is gonna be bigger than we thought...” just before thunder
Mind reading, e.g. “Can you help me find a cheese? It’s called, uh... [starts fishing out shopping list]” “Gruyere?” “...yes O_o”
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Captioned TikToks: tomato soup cake (B. Dylan Hollis)
MasterList
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I'm so scared, what the fuck does this do to you
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