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“Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today’s version of “seize him” imo

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COME GET YA’LL JUICE

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should I go join a cult and then escape it and write a memoir? I'm sort of describing investigative journalism but in a more unaware way. I want to believe in the cult a little bit. shut my brain off for a while

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Guy who learns kung fu, then realizes kung fu can be defeated by MMA so he learns that, then realizes MMA can be defeated by guns so he buys one, then realizes that guns can be defeated by law enforcement so he becomes a lawyer, then realizes that the law can be overthrown so he becomes a paramilitary general, then realizes that naked force can be enveloped by ideology so he becomes a religious leader, then realizes that ideology is primarily determined by the means of production so he becomes an inventor, then realizes that successful invention requires a finely honed mind so he becomes a psychologist, then realizes that the mind is just part of the body so he learns kung fu

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Edit: the title for this comic is “Puzzle Rat” this one’s a few days late due to having a lot of doctors appointments sorry it’s  just 9 pages, and about some rats… it’s more symbolic than anything really

(it’s completely unrelated to any of my songs that have to do with “puzzleboy”) Patreon: www.patreon.com/PengoSolvent

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I think it's a sign of good media when you have to reread or rewatch it to get the full experience. First time is for getting your brain blasted by the story and being confused second time is for knowing who's who and what's what and willingly getting your brain blasted again.

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dropped out of kill myself university to go find a fishing boat crewman apprenticeship cause noose 101 made me realise knot tying comes natural to me

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My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

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It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

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I thought it would be an hour of listening to screaming and looking at pictures of draculas, but it was so much for frightening than fathomed

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this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

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All I’m gonna say is this is also me in the year of our lord 2023 waiting for October 27th and 1989 TV, and my phone does in fact still suggest Swift after I type Taylor.

This is me crying because I have to wait until the 27th of October and iOS 8 knowing that I talk about Taylor swift too much.

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(guy experiencing the consequences of his actions) yeah i don’t know why these things keep happening to me i must be cursed or something