crwr213angelawang-blog

[crwr213angelawang-blog]

#1

The grueling hot heat that rose to almost 40 degrees, the broken air conditioning that sputtered everytime you tried to turn it on, and the click-clack of the fan that was a century old is my life so far. All my friends are away on fabulous vacations while I’m stuck here watching the latest reruns of Golden girls. The only exciting thing so far is Paul, my brother’s, girlfriend who comes over almost everyday. Kristy is really nice, and we hang out when my brother lets us. We do mani’s and pedi’s, talk about how gross guys are, and even though shes 17, she keeps me company and doesn’t find me annoying unlike Paul who thinks I’m 7. Paul always tells me to go away whenever Kristy is here and then they go to his room to play video games but Kristy always shoots me a smile before she disappears to his stink den. They’re up there right now, I can hear the super mario theme song playing. I hear steps come down the staircase.

“Kristy! Can we paint nails later?” I ask

“Yea sure Katie, just gonna quickly use the bathroom kay?”

After not even 3 minutes Kristy slams open the bathroom door and runs out like she had seen a ghost.

“Kristy-”

She looks at me with red eyes.

“Are you okay?” I ask

“Yea.” she says shakily “I just have allergies! I’ll see you in a few with nail polish.” she says with a wink

I walk into the bathroom after to see what happened. There wasn't anything really until I looked in the trash; I felt my heart sink to my stomach. I pulled out a pregnancy test wrapped with tissue that read positive. I may be 12, but I know this is bad.

Day’s passed and nothing changed. Kristy didn’t tell Paul and I know my brother, something like this would have made him flip; he’s not very good at keeping secrets. After Kristy left, I fought my nerves for an hour. I hate knowing this secret, I hate confrontation, maybe I could just forget about it and move on? I silently sobbed for an hour, I didn’t want to lose Kristy and I didn’t want to get in trouble for snooping. Paul isn’t very responsible but he should know.

“Hey dude.” I said to him.

“What’s up?” he replied laying on his bed “Are you okay? Why are you crying?”

“Please don’t get mad at me.” I say with a shaky voice “Kristy’s pregnant, I found the test in the garbage.”

I hand it to him. Paul’s eye widened and the next couple days at home was a mess. Paul told our parents, who then told Kristy’s parents. Paul and Kristy seemingly broke up and my parents stopped talking to Paul. Kristy couldn’t even look at me and neither could Paul. I brought a bomb to my family and it exploded with collateral damage but I did the right thing right? Why couldn’t I just keep a secret? I wish I never found that stupid object.

[crwr213angelawang-blog]

[crwr213angelawang-blog]

#2

It was the early summer which meant it was our annual summer cleanout which mainly consisted of donating old things my mom hoards. She asked me to go into her room and grab the pile of clothes sitting beside her bed. I did as she said but I dropped her pink blouse and when I went to pick it up, I saw a shoebox under her bed. I grabbed it thinking that it was some old shoes but they were letters. All of them addressed to Paul and I, why didn’t mom ever give these to us? I set down the clothes and opened one, it was from dad. All of them were. It has been 4 years since my dad walked out on us. My mom woke up and didn’t even flinch but Paul stood there heartbroken with Kristy by his side. He missed out on so many moments, me going in to highschool, Pauls graduation, and the birth of his grandson. I wondered how he could do something like this, and why I never got answers. Mom never spoke of it and I always thought he didn’t care about me anymore, but he did. The letter I grabbed told me how much he loved us and asked us to come visit him so he could explain everything and there were hundreds more along with it. They were sent 3 years ago, I guess he stopped writing us after he never got a response.

“Katie what’s taking so-” said my mom. She went completely pale.

“What is this mom?” I said as I waved the letter

“Honey, you don’t understand. I did this to-”

“Were you ever planning on telling me he wrote to us?”

She didn’t reply, she stood there silent with a blank expression. Anger flushed my body and I grabbed the car keys, and ran out of the house. I drove for a while but I looked down at the letter sitting in the passenger seat and saw the address that the letter was sent from. The drive there took about an hour but I finally arrived. The house was nice, it had a patio, but I couldn’t imagine dad in it. I walked up to the door, and knocked, the lock clicked open and there he was. He had a beard now but before I could say anything, we were already hugging. Tears rolled down our faces and we were still sobbing when we sat down inside the living room. I told him everything he missed such as his grandson’s birth and he explained somethings to me. How there was an affair, he was kicked out and tried many times to reach out, and how he even tried to visit us but mom threatened him. I could feel his pain and frustration, he didn’t walk out but rather he was forced out and did everything in his power to reach us. Despite the bad, some good came out of it. He had a new family, a new wife, and 2 kids from the wife's previous marriage. I was happy for him but jealous that they had my dad, that he got to witness there moments and not mine. I left feeling like a small hole in me was stitched up and found myself in a way, complete. I went into my car and looked over at the letter and was grateful I found it, but now I had to deal with the unknown future. How was I gonna confront mom? What was I gonna tell Paul?

[crwr213angelawang-blog]

[crwr213angelawang-blog]

#3

This house was once full of laughter, children running through the halls, parties in the patio with the beatles playing in the back, my husband looking at me with his dreamy eyes. I can’t even remember his face anymore, it’s been too long. All of the photos I had of him where in the summer house which burned down ages ago. It’s been 10 years since he passed and I miss him more than anything. I feel so hopeless but the doctor said that its normal to feel this way when going through mild depression. I haven’t felt joy in a while and I would give anything to get an ounce of it. My daughter recently showed me how cleaning can be therapeutic and enjoyable. She said something about a Marie Kondo show that inspired her? Throughout my 65 years on this planet, I have never once found cleaning enjoyable but at this moment, I would give anything for some peace. I climb up into the attic where boxes are stacked on top of each other and cobwebs in the corner and an old projector sitting in the corner. Is this what kids do for fun nowadays? Cleaning? If only they picked up this “hobby” when they were in their teens. I start from the front and work my way back, but most of the boxes were already sorted. As I make my way out, I knock over a box and the insides spatter out; papers, books and a camcorder. Curiosity stuck me and I grab the camera, what could be inside? I hooked up the camcorder to the projector, put some new batteries and it beeped. I hit play.

There was me, sitting on an ugly blue couch with movers walking in and out of this very house.

“This is my beautiful wife Katie.” said a familiar voice.

“Oh stop it Roy! You’re making me blush.”

It was him, it was my Roy.

“We are currently in the process of moving in our new house, but oh boy we definitely need to get a fan.”

He turns the camera towards him, and there he was. The bright rosy cheeks, his hair way too long, and his eyes. The bright blue ocean eyes, that I missed. He looked so young there and so happy, but that’s because we were. We were starting our entire life, Roy got a job at a law firm, and I was going to start my nursing job. Everything was absolutely perfect and I would give anything to go back.

“Katie give me a kiss on the cheek before I turn the camera off, I want to capture this moment.”

“Oh my goodness you are such a dreamist, but okay.”

And then the film stopped.

Tears fell down my cheek, one by one as I stared at the last moment of the film. Me and Roy, hopelessly in love and I could feel it radiating from the screen. I felt so much joy within those 15 seconds as it brought back powerful emotions but I’ll see him again soon, I don’t know when, but soon. I’m so happy that I found this object.

[crwr213angelawang-blog]