cruyffscars

[cruyffscars]

Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn't have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn't have to be a walk during which you'll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don't find meaning but "steal" some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn't make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.

Albert Camus, from Notebooks 1951-1959

[cruyffscars]

Sometimes I want to hurt others, I say this in a serious tone. People seem to me sometimes so stupid, so intrusive, what's the problem with them? Why can't you leave me alone? Shit, they make me feel very angry with myself.

People focus on such stupid things and don't seem interested in other things that are really worthwhile, sometimes they behave like idiots totally, they make me feel so frustrated and so stupid at the same time.

The worst thing is that in some way I am equal to them, I'm so stupid, I hate being an idiot, I hate not being able to structure my ideas, I hate to look like a geek or someone unasually interesting, I hate, hate, hate, hate, I hate all this, I hate not being able to want, fucking, I am a bitter and I'm so busy thinking about myself I do not realize that everything is my fault, everyone goes, ALL.