crowlum-blog

[crowlum-blog]

1- A Hero’s Story

There were faint sounds, screams of the innocent. There I was, watching it all happen. Powerless to stop what could have been stopped. I was a weak coward, I had no place, yet yearned to belong. Was that so much to ask? Didn’t think so. But, it doesn’t matter, now does it? The malice had consumed me. And now all I can do is watch and pray that anyone I care for makes it out alive. This power given to me was nothing more than a curse. Something that I was meant to fear from the beginning. Not for a second did I think this would be the outcome of my choices. A world set ablaze because I wasn’t strong enough to stop what I ended up becoming.

It always gnawed at me. Being born into a family of greatness. It seemed like I would follow suit. I was destined for greatness. It only needed time. But unfortunately, so did this curse. It sickened me, just how useless I was to fight back. I tried my hardest. But I ended up just failing like everyone said I would. I was brought down by those who didn’t know a thing about me. And it all led to this. A world consumed by chaos. Chaos I created.

On a lonely four way street, with tall skyscrapers in the centre of Tokyo. There I was, standing dead centre in the middle of the road, walking with a twisted stride from my leg being broken. I was this curse set upon the city. This is far from what I wanted to be. What I wanted to be was a good person and do the right things for the right people. Turns out my mind was so marred by the time I found out what was wrong, that I couldn’t go back, no matter how much I struggled.

Though, on that street wasn’t only me. There were others, people who had the power to survive what I had just unleashed. The only one standing though, was a boy. Someone who was strong willed, and who could save those he cared for, even in my place. Though, my sense of admiration had twisted when the boy became stronger than I. That is why I had to change my form, in order to be like him. This boy’s resentment towards me grew stronger and stronger. His own form changed. Though he was in control. He spouted some words about how my views were wrong and how I was the villain of both our stories. I didn’t bother to listen. Not when the boy who was taking my road was right in front of me. Nothing else mattered, other than destroying that sense of hope he carried. The very thing I sought to gain. I wanted to be a light to shine and break through the darkness. That is what this boy possessed. I had to have it, so I could save those I lost…

Then I heard a set of words. A single line in which I crossed too many times. I heard the boy's voice cut through the silence and the darkness. It was so powerful. He didn’t hate me, no, he was trying to save me, even after everything…

“A hero is someone who holds on for a minute longer! But look at you now!”

Apparently I was the villain…

And I was the cause of hope being lost.

Hope resides in all of us. This boy is a prime example of that. To crush his light would mean the end of hope for all.

I had to kill him…

For my hope was on the line. Even if my sense of justice was controlled by years of regret. I’m sorry. But I’m still hopeful for those I’ve lost to return. He was but an obstacle in my road. And so I must hurdle over all obstacles in order to reach a future in which hope lives on for me and my lost ones.

For I am the one, the only, hero.

And this is my story.

It was just past noon, and the sun was slowly starting its slow descent into the endless void under the horizon. It was a quiet day, nothing too substantial happening in the world. People went about their days as normal. Shopkeepers trying to sell their goods to any passerby. Tired men and women going to work or coming home from work. Young men and woman turning tricks for a quick pay, street performers doing their best to make a living for doing what they love, and students awaiting that fabled hour when the bells rang and they could run off to their homes.

Sora noticed this silence, he looked outside his homeroom window to a vast cityscape. His gaze locking with a setting sun. He sighed, and turned his eyes back to his test paper. He was halfway through it. The test was about Shadows, and the history on them. It was a concept everyone knew about. They had been around since the dawn of time, or so that’s what everyone says.

One of the questions on the test--one Sora skipped--was: What is a Shadows purpose? It was basically an opinion answer. But there was no mark for the question, so why spout an opinion if it’s probably wrong anyway. That was Sora’s train of thought right now. Most of the questions he left blank or half-heartedly done. He was antsy, and his hand was starting to cramp from holding the pencil for so long.

He wrote down some answers to some other questions like: What can Shadows do? Or, Where do Shadows come from?

Extremely basic stuff. But it was important to know for the most part. This test wasn’t practical, but supposedly it helped your Shadow form and opinion about you. Which was complete bull. A piece of paper didn’t define what sort of Shadow you got. It was all about who you are. Not the words you put on a page.

Of course, most of the other kids took this pretty seriously, as Shadows were a pretty big deal. Though some people, almost half of the population of earth, didn’t really agree. It was a classic 50/50 scenario, except even some people with Shadows didn’t exactly support the whole thing. And since Shadows have been on earth since ‘the dawn of time’ then it’s a pretty common thing to be called out for having a strong one.

Another question on the test was: Is obtaining a powerful Shadow all luck, or do you obtain one through sheer will of personality?

A stupid question to ask. This whole thing was just an opinion gatherer after all, not much to be expected. Sora knew that from taking the test each year he attended school. The only change for high school were more ‘thoughtful’ questions that really ‘got your philosophical side out.’ Which was again, bull.

Sora started tapping his foot on the ground. His bones felt sore, all he wanted to do was go home and rest. But, that didn’t seem like a possibility. Since he was one of the last to finish the test, and school was about to end. But that wasn’t the only reason why. Something was about to happen, Sora could feel it.

A hazy feeling from deep within him, something he’d never felt before. It was like a mixture of that feeling after eating your favorite food, and a rush of going down a steep slant on a rollercoaster. And odd feeling Sora wasn’t sure how to process. It kept doubling over, swelling up like a glass being filled to the brim with water. He began to notice a faint blue aura, he wondered if it was time.

Is this the time when I get my own? Will I finally get my own Shadow? He thought with excitement, his fingers trembling. The blue aura wasn’t coming off of Sora, though, but someone else in the room. Someone who was sitting right smack dab in the centre of the front row. Everyone had started to notice the blue glow, even the boy--who was Sora’s best friend, Hisota--stood up in surprise once he took notice of it.

The blue aura started to more clearly emanate from his body, every single cell of his body glowing a faint blue colour. Everyone in the class had backed up by now, as they all knew what was happening. The teacher was trying to usher the students out of the class, but even he was dumb founded. It was common place to have something like this happen, but it was still a spectacle to behold every time.

The blue light around Hisota started to glow more vibrantly and fiercely. Changing colours until it became a solid white colour and grew to a blinding brightness. Most of the students shielded their eyes, but others stared, completely unphased by the light. Hisota stood, holding his hands open palm out in front of him. The blue aura was dissipating. There was this strange reverse of gravity around Hisota, that lifted the loose ends of his uniform, and hold his hair up like he was powering up. Soon enough even that left him, and he was stood in the front of the room, desks overturned, papers thrown about everywhere, students staring in awe; Sora included.

Hisota looked back at Sora, they both had the same thing cross their mind.

Run.

Sora looked concerned as Hisota ran out of the room, other students knew what he was doing, but others wanted to follow, being blocked by the teacher. What Hisota just experienced is called an Awakening. Something that can happen during mundane life such as just now, or it can happen during the most harsh moments of your life. The Awakening is when your Shadow finally ‘awakens’ inside of you. This can be dangerous. As it releases a large amount of power. The stronger the Shadow, the more devastating the blast.

That’s right. Hisota was about to explode.

Sora watched him running outside as far away from the school as he could, he made it about halfway onto the track when a blue flame surrounded him and blinded any onlookers. The blast wasn’t that large, but it did some damage for sure. About ten meters in each direction, smoldering ground now surround Hisota. Though, he stood completely fine, as if nothing happened.

Sora gaped in awe at Hisota. He was completely unscathed, and was now holding his Shadow. He was so far away it was hard to make out the fine details, but Hisota sent it away in a plume of blue flames, and ran back towards the school. Even with a traumatic event such as that, it was a daily thing for some people, everyone knew what to do; others slightly clueless, but got the idea.

Sora, even feeling happy for his friend, felt this hint of jealousy. Why hadn’t his Shadow awoken yet? Why hasn’t Sora experienced something like that? He wanted to get some answers, but all in all, patience was key.

Hisota reentered the building and helped cleaned up the room, he was then admitted to the medical office in the school. He was to talk to the nurse about the experience. From there they would base some info off his description, then would update it on Hisota’s records under ‘Shadow Activity.’ Once that went through, and was fully registered, he would be able to use his Shadow with small restrictions based on his age. He would even be able to join groups, or Factions.

Sora on the other hand, felt solemn. He was left behind, and as Hisota tried to tell him the experience, all Sora could do was stare blankly into himself, searching for something. Maybe a sign of a Shadow. There were medical tests, big machines to tell you if you actually had a Shadow inside of you. Some people are born unlucky, and receive a Shadow so weak it dies inside of them, lost forever.

Sora was short on hope…

The day ended like that, with Sora still hanging his head low, and Hisota being praised by people who barely knew him. There was this underlying fame whenever you got your Shadow. People always wanted to know how strong it was, or what it looked like. Some Shadows have a completely unique design, others… well, not many people would want a piece of paper for their Shadow, now would they?

Though that’s just how the world worked in all honesty. People are born into a better life than others. It’s just a matter of choices that form your future. For some, their choices lead to powerful futures, where they are the forefront of the world, able to usher it into a new dawn. Others, they are left to suffer, with regret and contempt eating them up inside. Not all good choices make your Shadow strong though. Sometimes those with evil intent, get Shadows even more powerful than those who seek out justice with their hearts as pure as a dog’s affection.

Sora would learn the hard way that living up to these choices would be the thing that led to a bleak future. For now, all he had to worry about was his present. And how he would deal with his lack of a Shadow for now. He was pretty tolerant, albeit a bit childish for his age, though he knew when to be mature.

He took everything with a grain of salt, not letting many people break him down so easily. He wore a mask with a poorly drawn smile. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t happy. He had a home, a family, friends, leisure items to make his life just that less boring. He was happy where he was, if he didn’t get a Shadow, so be it. But, Sora would live the rest of his life in someone's shadow, knowing he was lesser than them for not having one.

During the train ride home, Sora had lots to think about, most often than not about how he wished he had a Shadow. What it would look like, how strong it would be, how many people he could save. He wanted nothing more than that, to be a sign of hope and justice, a light to cut through the darkness, never fading away.

I want to be someone who people can look up to, someone people can feel safe around. I want to destroy all fear. I want to be what people call hope. Sora thought, smiling to himself as he stepped off the train. He walked the rest of the way to his house. Nothing too special, livable, and cozy for sure. But he would be lying if he said it was fine the way it was. At his house, his mother and father--Naomi and Marco Izumi--and his twin sister, Lucy, would be waiting for him. Lucy was home all day today, spent being ‘sick.’ That’s what she said, even though her version of sick was playing video games and reading manga all day. Sora’s parents were pretty lenient, they just want them to at least try in school. Nothing more, nothing less. Though, they hoped that both their kids would put a little effort into their school lives.

Sora opened the door, being rushed with a the smell of familiar foods. Sora could guess what they were having for dinner--baked tonkatsu. Which was fine with him, he loved the stuff, even if they had had it for three nights in a row now.

Maybe that’s how Lucy got sick… Sora thought to himself, slipping off his sneakers.

Sora passed the living room, seeing his parents watching some television show--some sitcom, he had no clue what the heck it was--with a man on screen talking to some balding dude in a diner.

“Hey Sora, how was school, buddy?” Marco asked, looking back over his shoulder.

“Good. Had another history test on Shadows.” Sora murmured.

“Oh yeah? How d’ya think you did?”

“Dunno, test got blown out the window.”

“By what?” Marco asked, skeptical.

“Hisota had his Awakening happen in class.” Sora replied, slightly discouraged by it.

“Really? Good for him. Did you see what it was?” Naomi chimed in.

“No, didn’t get a good look at it, he was too far away.” Sora said, hanging up his coat in a hallway closet.

“The blast was that big?” Marco asked, rubbing the stubble on his chin.

“He ran out to the track field, safe to say the blast was ten meters out in every direction.” Sora said half-heartedly.

In all honesty, this conversation was killing him inside, he had no idea why he brought it up. Maybe he felt glad that Hisota got his Shadow, maybe he was just talking out his ass for all he knew. He had no clue, but Sora just wanted to rest, that’s all he cared about.

“I’m gonna go lie down. It’s been a long day.”

“Okay. We’ll call you when dinners ready, hun.” Naomi said with a smile.

“‘Kay.”

Sora trudged his way to his room, throwing his bag on his bed and walking over to his desk, sliding open a drawer and pulling out a half-empty tube of ointment. All his bones felt so sore, he needed some well deserved rest. Twisting off the cap, he sat looking at the label. ‘Arthritis cream, apply to all joins and sore areas.’

Sora did just that, applying as much of the cream he had left to his fingers, shoulders, elbows, and anywhere else he felt sore. He rummaged through his drawer again, finding medical tape and wrapping it around most of his joints. It was just to keep the ointment from sticking to his clothes for the most part. While Sora was wrapping some of the tape around his fingers, he saw in his mirror just how worn out and sunken in his face looked. He could see every sag under his tired, black, shark-like eyes. His bright red hair was frizzy and had some matted to his forehead. He took out the purple clip that held his bangs to the side and let them fall down--not too far, he could still see, but the clip felt weird when he tried to sleep. He felt the pressure on all his joints loosen up as soon as he took it off. Maybe the ointment was working better today. Finally.

The stuff never really made him feel better. It was just come cream the doctors put into  a tube and said ‘it’ll help with your sore bones.’ What a load of crap. The only thing that really helped was stretching, and hell, that still hurt like a freight train hitting him head-on.

When Sora slipped into his home clothes--shorts and a random t-shirt--and sat down on his bed, Lucy barged open the door. A crooked smile on her face.

“Sup buttchugger?” She grinned.

“Buttchugger?” Sora mocked.

In almost every way, Lucy looked just like Sora, except her hair was longer and a different colour... she didn’t have the features of a worn out dirty mattress. She looked completely healthy, as if she had been lying about being sick. Okay, maybe they weren’t twins. But they were born on the same day, pretty close to each other. That’s gotta count, right?

“So how was your day?” Sora asked, shifting himself on his bed to he was sitting upright.

Lucy leaned on his bedroom door. “Pretty good, caught up on homework, watched tv, played video games. The usual.”

“Figured you spent most of your day slacking off. But you are responsible enough to get your homework done.” Sora muttered, a soft chuckle escaping his lungs.

“So I heard Hisota’s Awakening happened today?” Lucy asked after a brief pause.

“Yep. Pretty neat.”

Sora looked away. Lucy had gotten her Shadow right at birth. Their mother had passed it onto her as a gift. Even though they were just twenty minutes apart, Lucy was technically older, and she got it first. Sora on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky. Their father still uses his Shadow, so he couldn’t have been able to give it away. Which left Sora and Naomi the only people in their family without a Shadow.

“Don’t worry Sora. We won’t leave you behind. Maybe your Awakening will happen tomorrow for all we know…” Lucy tried to sound upbeat, but there was something she was keeping from Sora.

He caught onto this, and pressed the situation.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, looking quite stern.

“Well,” Lucy wouldn’t be able to hold back the answer forever. Whenever Sora got like this, there wasn’t much you could keep from him. “Mom and Dad got an appointment for you… to see if you would get your Shadow at all… You’re scheduled for next week…”

Sora looked down at his hands, covered in medical tape. He smiled. “Alright. I guess I’ll prepare myself for an awesome Shadow then.”

Lucy tried to smile, but it just wouldn’t come. She turned and left the room without saying another word. This might not have meant much to her, but Sora looked up and saw the back of his sister, walking away, shoulders stiff. In a single moment, Sora saw a flash of her and Hisota walking away, exactly like that, when it cut back to the normal scene of his home.

Lucy didn’t even know it. But she wouldn’t be able to keep her promise.

So Sora had to catch up sooner rather than later.

Sora was lying under his blanket late at night, staring up at the ceiling. He thought about how Lucy seemed to really care, how Hisota seemed so loyal. Sora, on the other hand, felt so jealous. He didn’t want to sit back and watch people closest to him go away, just like that, just because he was falling behind.

He wanted to catch up so badly. He wanted nothing more than to be on the same level with those he call his friends, his family. He rested his arm over his eyes, trying not to weep. It was hard, being the only one without a Shadow. He tried to understand how his mother felt when she gave it away, but she had all these revelations after the fact. How can Sora be happy about not having a Shadow anymore if he never had one in the first place.

I don’t want to be left behind. I’m not weak. I can catch up. I will. But… Sora lingered on that thought, that last word. But. But what? What was stopping him? Was it the forces of nature? Probably. Fate? Probably. But…

Damn it! Sora screamed in his head, tears escaping from under his forearm. I want to be with them, so badly. But you just won’t let me, will you? Fate…

Sora cursed out fates name under his breath some more. Little did he know, that his calls would be answered. But for now, he was set on hold.