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cronch-goes-the-weasel · 3 years

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im having. thoughts

i was idly playing with a switched au in my head–not as in evil mr benedict good mr curtain, but as in mr curtain sending 4 students at his school (the society (mysterious curtain society??????? oh no) presumably all became students under different strange circumstances) undercover to mr. benedict’s house (school?) claiming he was the bad guy, and them learning otherwise, and since the kids are switched presumably like a) SQ was raised by mr benedict instead (good for him!), b) kate has been told that mr benedict has her father and mindwiped him (she’s “undercover” and can’t tell him i’m assuming? although she’s impulsive so it’s hard to believe she wouldn’t immediately try and do something, but presumably the other kids hold her back) and so on, but they’re all confused by like. how he doesn’t seem evil (much like sticky’s doubts of mr. curtain, maybe either reynie is in that position doubting what they’ve been told, or sticky again but this time it’s not because of manipulative praise, but genuine praise that makes him go ??? wait), and constance probably gets immediate bad vibes and doesn’t trust him (she didn’t trust mr. benedict either, so that checks out) and so on, right? it’s not a very well thought out au, i was just kinda idly spinning it around my head. there’s some interesting bits to it, but ultimately i’m not sure if it would work.

and then i thought, well, kids swap is all very well and fine, but what if it was just like. this mysterious curtain society is made of the kids we do see at the academy, so like, SQ, martina, maybe jackson and jillson? and that quickly fell apart too, and i was like, eh, not sure i like that. although actually now that i think about it, martina and mr. benedict would be an… interesting interaction (i don’t think he would dislike her–i kind of think of his line on constance, “she is in many ways much better….and in other ways much worse” but he’s clearly delighted with her + martina getting validation and appreciation from an adult that doesn’t encourage the whole competitive/mean behavior) but ANYWAY

then i thought. what if it was just SQ.

SQ being warned that mr. curtain’s brother looks exactly like him but don’t be fooled–he is very manipulative, that he will betray and abandon him without thought if he becomes useless just as he did mr. curtain, being warned that he’s very good at seeming friendly but ultimately it’s a lie, that he’ll seem kind and say nice things but he just wants to use SQ (possibly with that underlying subtext of what else are you good for) and like. he’s set to “accidentally” bump into him and a) infiltrate, b) gather information/gain their trust/see how much they know, and c) ultimately get security details and/or disable milligan and the others at the planned date. because, of course, his brother has always had a weakness for children, and SQ is ever so convenient.

the sympathetic angle here is that he knows his brother wouldn’t hurt a child, even if he was found out. the unsympathetic angle: he doesn’t care either way, and SQ is useful, and no pesky guardians anymore to ask questions. (or some mix of the two–for example, he knows SQ won’t come to harm, but doesn’t necessarily mind if he doesn’t come back (even if it’s because of adoption and not death))

either way, he’s not telling SQ that, just that his brother is dangerous and has highly dangerous associates, and that he’ll have to be careful and on edge and report back very, very carefully.

anyway, so SQ is set to infiltrate however would make sense, and presumably mr. benedict takes one look at this scared child who’s like. i don’t have anyone, i’m alone, i’m on the run, and is like. oh? is anyone gonna adopt this? and didn’t wait for an answer.

i’m thinking that in order to have them not think just random child, the lie in some way involves the emergency/the institute, like saying he’s an escaped student in hiding or something? so they actually tell him about their plans/what they know, instead of trying to keep him away from it.

so like. SQ. living with mr. benedict and the crew. and it’s…. bizarre. for one, they’re all super nice to him. like. just really kind. and it never makes him feel weird or bad (it’s not backhanded) and it’s not condescending (they mean it) and they don’t criticize his eating habits or make weird (kind of mean now that he thinks about it) comments about his art (mr. benedict put it up in his office!) and they never talk down to him, they actually tell him what’s going on and are honest with him (or at least, they seem like it, but–)

but then there’s like. when they start getting into what they know, this information he’s supposed to find out, it’s like. that. that can’t be right. they’re lying, they’ve got to be, right? because his dad isn’t some sort of fucking supervillain, he isn’t trying to–to mind control the whole world, that’s wild, that sounds fake, what the fuck.

(if sq lives on the island does he. know about the emergency? i assume students talk about it, although i’m not sure he really goes to class or interacts with people much, so like. is it just a vague thing he sort of half knows about? does he actually see it out in the mainland?)

but like. they’re so earnest and kind, they seem to honestly care, and he just–he feels bad, but he likes it here. a pun slips out one day at dinner and half waits for the man with his father’s face to tell him that puns are the lowest form of humor, but instead he lets out an undignified giggle and then tips over, number two catching him without even trying

oh no. wait actually this just occurred to me. the parallel of him guiltily feeling really good away from mr. curtain’s influence, his controlling and manipulative behavior, in a place he feels safe and can draw in peace and quiet when he needs to? oh. oh. i am going to sit down. oh

anyway so he starts feeling guiltier and guiltier about lying to them–they’ve taken him in without question, he’s honestly gotten to know them–number two and her awkward quirks but genuine compassion, rhonda and her talent for disguise but deep passion for helping people, milligan’s odd distance and intimidating stature but like, gentleness–they’re all caring in slightly different but equally deep ways, and like. then there’s mr. benedict. who looks so much like his dad but acts so different, who can be quiet (reading a book peacefully in his office–which is messy and filled with books, very homey and he can’t imagine his dad ever putting up with this kind of mess… or withdrawn into plans, thinking hard trying to think of any plan that doesn’t involve sending a child into enemy territory and seeming exhausted) or energetic (excitedly explaining something he’s learned, or about a book he’s read) and who just seems so… genuine.

and he tells himself his dad warned him about this, they’re manipulative and lying, but they have no reason to suspect him, nor any reason to keep him safe, so why would they bother?

and like. there’s a moment where he remembers that his dad had always talked about his brother betraying him, and it’s hard to imagine his uncle kindly mr. benedict betraying anyone, but why would his dad lie, how can neither of them be lying, so he asks, just casually, if mr. benedict has any siblings.

mr. benedict stills. number two doesn’t pay much mind, expecting a casual denial, until he quietly says yes. i had–have. have a brother.

he doesn’t look up. he looks ashamed. SQ is preparing for the worst.

were it not for the fact that a) there is a child here, and b) this is clearly a Moment, number two would be very offended. i mean, not really, but like. how did she not know this? what the fuck? but instead, she sits back and listens–he doesn’t look at her, but she knows he knows she’s still there, and he’d ask her to leave if he wanted her to. (i say number two because she had the strongest reaction to not knowing, but i could see that rhonda and/or milligan are here too, kind of. exchanging looks.)

and like. SQ asks, quietly, hesitantly, half wondering if this will finally be what makes him angry, what happened to him.

but mr. benedict just kind of looks down, ruefully, and says he didn’t know where he was. and he looks–he looks guilty, yes, but sad, he looks like he misses him, and SQ–SQ knows where he is. he has enough time to think Hm Maybe Asking About This Was A Bad Idea when like. mr. benedict says, a little tearfully but trying to hold it back, that it was his fault but he hadn’t–it was a long time ago.

…SQ asks what he was like. wonders what mr. benedict thinks of his dad, not knowing SQ knew him, too. and mr. benedict… he laughs, that kind of bittersweet remembering laugh, and just like… he was brilliant, but troubled. he was–he could be cruel, sometimes, the way children were, and he could be controlling and loud, but he meant well, he wanted what was best for us. we looked out for each other. we loved each other. we were brothers. ….twins, in fact.

(number two is left reeling from this information. SQ is, too, for entirely different reasons.)

maybe number two says something doubting that it was his fault, whatever happened, or maybe SQ says something to try and get more information, but whatever the case, somehow the whole sorry story comes out, mr. benedict is actually upset for once, although he takes care not to raise his voice with SQ right there, and like. SQ is just reeling because a) there is too much pain in his voice for this story to be fake. and if it were fake, why would he try and make himself look bad, why would he lie about this, b) the feelings he described after not–not going back. feeling guilty but relieved, feeling like he could have peace and safety–why did SQ relate to that so much? did he–did he not want to go back? didn’t he miss his dad? well, mr. benedict clearly misses him, too, but he still felt relief …..could he not go back? and c) this strange mixed feeling of relief (his impression of mr. benedict wasn’t wrong, because he’s pretty sure this is the “betrayal” his father was talking about, and he couldn’t help but understand why he had made his choice) and guilt (he was lying to him, he knew where his brother was, he was opening up and SQ was keeping something from him) and fear (what would happen when they found out? would he be able to stay with either brother? what did he tell his father?)

and like. SQ quietly telling him he understood the feeling, and like just. he goes to bed that night so, so conflicted on what to do. he feels so guilty (hm, parallels to reynie in canon!) but can he make it right? will they be angry? or should he go through with it?

maybe he arrives at the conclusion that neither of them are lying–his uncle and the others truly believe this nefarious thing is happening, and that’s why they’re trying to fight back, but the headmaster (his father) isn’t behind it, or that’s not what it is, and whatever the case, this is all a big misunderstanding, and if he can just. talk to them both, he could explain it.

maybe at this point he’s already fed enough information to his father that he’s ready for the night they strike, relying on him to use a sedative given to him to knock everyone out and the information he’s given to be correct so they can raid the house, and all he needs to do is complete the last steps of the plan.

(and maybe mr. benedict and co know that something’s up, that they’re being watched, but never once suspect SQ, because why would they? ironically, given mr. benedict’s current incredibly hesitant plan Z to send children into the institute–which, come to think of it, mr. curtain might try to use to point to to attempt to convince SQ that his brother is just as bad if not worse)

and either we have the classique he decides not to go through with it but it’s too late, and he gets to see the awful betrayal on their faces as they realize (without knowing he’d changed sides) he’d been a spy the whole time (seeing mr. benedict collapse because of him but not because he’d made a particularly bad joke but because he’d hurt him, and no one’s there to cushion his fall–it hurts)

(or he pulls a zuko and goes through with it before realizing he made the wrong choice and helping them escape, and is frankly amazed when they take him back without question, just glad he’s okay)

or like. just. this quiet moment where SQ goes into his office. and he looks up at him, smiling like it’s a normal day because for him it is, and asks him what he needs, and SQ sets down whatever he’s been using to communicate with his dad and says i lied to you.

because he’s finally been convinced that they aren’t lying, aren’t manipulating him that maybe his dad was that something else was going on here and he had to come clean even though his heart is in his throat and he’s so scared of what’ll come of it but even if he’s giving up a place that makes him feel safe, he’s doing the right thing, isn’t he?

and him having to say–and he’s stumbling over his words again, nervous and scared like he hasn’t been since the start–that he’d lied, he was sent here as a spy, but he couldn’t–he couldn’t do it, they weren’t who he’d been told, and that enough is to make mr. benedict look distraught (but not angry, he doesn’t look angry) and then he blurts out that he knows where his brother is and mr. benedict’s face like. he looks. SQ never wants to see that look again. it’s not anger, just–heartbreak, hurt, whether at him or his dad he’s not sure, and like. he just quietly asks like. if his brother is okay, then. if he’s the headmaster they’ve been fighting. and SQ admits he is, and that he’s his father, and honestly if mr. benedict hasn’t fallen asleep a few times by now it’d be just like the show! it’d surprise me.

but like first of all, presumably not out loud but mr. benedict is kind of like, ah, never had a son turn out to be a nephew before. weird

and also I HAVE A NEPHEW ????

(although actually, fun twist, family doesn’t have to fit into the whole nuclear format of like mom dad son daughter sister brother, so like. kinda picturing when they basically adopt him he’s like well im *cough* for sure an orphan, but i remember my dad, i don’t want another dad, maybe you could be like…… and then mr. benedict’s like (cheerfully oblivious) how about an uncle? and SQ’s like *choking* Yeah Sure)

but mostly it’s this conflicting maelstrom of emotions like. SQ is a spy, he’s been spying on them, he’s lied to them (he’s just a kid, he’s scared, and i’ll be damned if i don’t hug him as soon as i emotionally recover enough from this revelation to stand and not scream into the woods!!), he’s an uncle his brother had a kid!! (a kid he’s mistreated and sent away, a kid he’d been sure came from an abusive home, a kid who seems surprised at compliments.), his brother is alive!! (and a fucking supervillain!!) and the HEADMASTER THEY’VE BEEN FIGHTING IS HIS BROTHER (this is all my fault, it’s all my fault)

he is understandably. overwhelmed.

but like. him shakily standing. SQ stands tall but scared. and mr. benedict just. hugs him. just pulls him into a hug and is like you’ve been through so much, i’m sorry, and SQ’s like WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING I LIED TO YOU, I SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO YOU TALK ABOUT MY DAD AND HOW MUCH YOU MISSED HIM AND DIDN’T TELL YOU, I SPIED ON YOU, I HELPED HIM, WHY AREN’T YOU ANGRY, and mr. benedict’s just like. you’re a kid, you’re my nephew, i care about you, this isn’t your fault. you’ve been manipulated and hurt and i’m not angry with you, i won’t be angry with you and like. SQ properly crying like, not alone, for the first time… in a very long time, if ever? and like just. being held. by his uncle. who knew everything and wasn’t angry and might also be crying a bit

i’m not really sure how this would end i’m just very emo

although i do think mr. benedict’s immediate reaction would be, just as in canon, to immediately march over there and confront him, except this time with like 80 percent more rage because his nephew is hurt and nathaniel you hurt a CHILD? your SON?

and like this whole thing from mr. benedict’s point of view, too, like. he takes in this kid on the run from this headmaster (ld curtain, they have a name, but no picture, and he’d never met him in person–or gave a false description?) and like. he’s such a sweet kid, he likes drawing, he’s clearly not had much praise in his life, but he’s a good kid and he deserves better than all this

and like. all that bonding, and then he comes in–clearly terrified but determined–and admits he was spying. and then it’s revelation after revelation and he is seriously tempted to go out into the woods, far away so as not to upset anyone, particularly SQ, and then scream and maybe throw some things, and then come back and sit down calmly. but he can’t do that right now, there is a child seriously scared of his reaction in the room, and he swallows down the ohgodohfuckhisbrotherisALIVE and the it'sallmyfaultthisismyfaultididthis and hugs his nephew (who is. trembling. what the fuck did you do, nathaniel.)

and not to mention the others–that’s a lot of revelations to process at once–and then like. how this could possibly go over with mr. curtain and the whisperer and all. but like just. aaaaa im many thoughts, head full, much feelings, heart aching

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