crohnsflower-blog

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forgot my email lol

it’s been a while, sorry for going completely mia i forgot my email and a lot of other stuff has happened, so for a quick catch-up:

bad things - did many tests which always sucked because i always had to drink that nasty lemon-lime dye stuff which always made me so nauseous i could never finish it all

- got a colonoscopy with dilation a few weeks ago that seemed to help for the first few days but now i’m back to the daily pain/bubbling/occasional nausea

- tried to establish a medical home and was told only after it was already established that my referrals to my gastroenterologist had been terminated and would need to be reinstated, except now i don’t have enough time to get those referrals reinstated before my next $21,000 remicade infusion so i can get it covered by insurance, because i (and nobody else either) can pay that much out of pocket. my infusion is on the 19th of july, the earliest appointment they have available at my new medical home is the 22nd of july, except by the time i actually get the correct paperwork filled out so i can set up an appointment, they’ll probably be pushed out another couple of weeks. i just started crying when i finished calling everybody because if i’m still sick right now after the colonoscopy and still reaping the benefits of my last infusion, how sick am i going to get when i can’t get my next infusion on time? will it be pushed out so far that my body will develop the antibodies against remicade and we’ll have to figure out a new treatment plan, all because some rep at my health insurance didn’t tell me the referrals would be terminated until after i unknowingly terminated them? jesus fucking christ. i don’t know what’s going to happen and i am honestly scared. what the fuck is american healthcare

in another note, some good things that have happened - i’m going to college next year! i took a gap year this year after graduating high school to work and get as well as i could and i am so ready for college you wouldn’t believe it. i got accepted into the film program into the school of my choice and i am so so excited :’) i am just really really hoping being sick won’t get in the way of anything hh

- i saw rocketman (twice in the past week, planning on going again soon) and it is safe to say that’s one of my favorite movies. i bought the soundtrack today and have been listening to it nonstop, and every time i think about it i get so so happy inside, i love every single thing about it and it also kickstarted my love for taron egerton lol. please if you haven’t seen it yet i highly reccommend it!! there are definitely quite a few things that could be triggering in it, so definitely look into that first but it delivers so well on so many levels. thank u kings

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I can't believe y'all are giving this post attention again and ignoring my benadryl one. wtf that was comedy gold

me: *doesn’t take meds, eats trigger foods, doesn’t get enough sleep*

also me: why am i still sick lol

bonus - my intestines:

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Do me a favor.

Reblog this if a medical professional has ever treated you like shit or fucked up your diagnosis or was just generally wrong.

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Friendly reminder that “doing your best” does not mean pushing yourself to the limits of endurance, but only doing the best you can without hurting yourself.

Further, even friendlier reminder that it’s completely fine if that means you don’t do as much as someone else.

They’re not you, and your contribution is just as valid as theirs.

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the back of the benadryl package, doctors: don't take benadryl to fall asleep!! it's Bad for you!!

me, taking two pills of extra strength benadryl for the fifth night in a row so i can knock out and wake up with less pain in the morning: oh word

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Spoonie life

That wave of emotional instability you get when your energy levels drop all of a sudden

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an aesthetic that will never go out of style: making others feel loved, needed, and important 

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something other people don’t realize about chronic illness: Just because I stopped talking about a symptom doesn’t mean it went away, it just means that I realized you were sick of hearing about it

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reblog this post if you're under 25 and suffering from a chronic illness

I want to see how many of us there are

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“Your test results came back as normal”

[ID: Gif of Legolas saying “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”]

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^_^ name playlist ask meme: Miwa

i love that name are u kidding me

M - moonlight (exo-m)

I - i love you but i'm lost (tears for fears) / i want you (shinee)

W - whatever it takes (imagine dragons)

A - artificial love (exo)

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constellation ask meme: ara

what is something/someone that never fails to make you laugh?

i don't even know where this came from but. me and one of my friends decided that kid from soul eater smokes weed and for some reason everything about that concept is absolutely fucking hilarious. peak humor

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send me your name and i will make a playlist out of the letters!

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constellation asks!!

lynx - whats your favorite vine?

orion -  who is a person you would love to meet?

phoenix - what does it take to steal your heart?

dorado - name an unusual talent you have

carina - what is your favorite item of clothing?

musca - what is something you could never forgive? (could be an event or a trait)

hydra - what superpower would you love to have?

pavo - describe your favorite picture

hercules - what tv show/movie/band/book do you love but are too embarrassed to admit out loud?

ara - what is something/someone that never fails to make you laugh?

vela - what color suits you best?

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Hey! For the playlist thing: BEKAH :)

that's a beautiful name ohmygoodness :')

B - bolt from the blue (jerry williams)

E - everybody wants to the rule the world (tears for fears)

K - kiss me quick (nathan sykes)

A - ancient aliens (lemon demon)

H - hey mama (exo-cbx) / hurt (exo)

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When you finally find the energy to do stuff

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*wakes up and remembers I’m queer*

Nice.