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& a healthy helping of ambiguous fates for both couples ^_−☆

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if i nickel for every time a frail (,queer,) thirtyish year old man with way too much curiosity for his own good and a dead female assistant with round glasses nearly died in an explosion and came back as something not quite human because of the nature of the forces he was messing with and later on became a lowkey jesus figure with his new powers...

edit: and then was killed by his partner for the perceived greater good, fulfilling a promise they had made earlier

EDIT: AND HAD A "WHERE YOU GO I GO" TYPE SITUATION WITH THEIR PARTNER IN A TOWER WHERE THEY BOTH AMBIGUOUSLY KIND OF DIED TOGETHER TO SAVE THE WORLD

id have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happed twice, right?

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Season 3 Elias is so goddamn fucking funny to me I forgot what a rollercoaster he was during my first listen.

Like the s2 finale has Jurgen Leitner giving Jon the whole "monsters are real speech" and Jon's like "I need a cigarette. NO ONE get brutal pipe murdered while I'm gone" and Jurgen fails step 1 because Elias walks in and grabs Jon's point-and-click-adventure pipe he'd been carrying around and Brutal Pipe Murders. Which, of course, Jon walks back in on and is prime suspect #1 due to literally every single feature trait and word he's said in the entirety of s2.

So naturally s3 starts with Jon on the lam and Officer Tonner like "I'm gonna arrest him for brutal pipe murder" and I'M like "Shit. I hate this. Elias is going to SO easily pin it on Jon and get away with it."

EXCEPT Elias walks in and is like "hello Ms. Officer no Jon Archivist did not kill that man, also I won't tell you anything else, also this is what you sound like" while reciting all her childhood trauma and all her illegal activity that will get HER sent to jail for brutal murder of the non-pipe variety and now I'm like "....huh." He's also like "Jon didn't do it but you can kill him if you want maybe :)" Elias your alibi????

And then we come BACK with Jon storming Elias's office with his two lesbian bodyguards as back up and he's like "I'm gonna use my powers to make you confess to pipe murder!" At which point Elias is like "It doesn't work on me. But I'm having fun so Martin go get everyone I need to tell you all how I committed pipe murder." and Martin does and Elias is like "Yes I pipe murdered. I also killed Gertrude. I love murder. You will not be compensated extra for this time. Get back to work." And they... DO... just go back to work. Because work is haunted. One of the lesbian police officers works here now, too. This just happened. "Also living dolls from Russia are about to Apocalypse the world, Jon go stop it," Elias says, while also saying "no I'm not gonna tell you how to stop it."

Okay???? Mr. Elias man??? And you're like "maybe he's a ruthless tactician? Maybe he's brutal but it's all in the interest of stopping the doll apocalypse??? He wants to save the earth???" Except THAT'S not even true it's actually more like he's trying to get the Russian dolls kicked out of line at Disney World so HE gets to meet Mickey Mouse first by which I mean, start his OWN Apocalypse, because if the dolls do it first well then what's the point of apocalypsing a planet that's become someone else's sloppy seconds.

Anyway Elias's master strategy here is to bring the human equivalent of a drowned cat to the gun fight and just sit back and watch Jon fall down every set of stairs he finds while Elias goes "This is good. This will work." His name isn't even fucking Elias.

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This meme was too perfect for S1 Jon and Martin.

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not only would they win a gift card but also a mug

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Listening to Mag 82 and i think i have some fucked up crush on Elias now

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hey soldiers… just finished tma 200.. this was the most evil podcast ever and i regret ever listening to it yet at the same time this. was the most perfect piece of media i will recommend to everyone thank you for coming to my ted talk.

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tramp stamp that says "ceaseless watcher turn your gaze upon this wretched thing"

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yuri and yaoi are some of the best, most sacred things in the entire world

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Late hours at the Archives👁️

Late hours at the office, spilling tea figuratively and literally

Details!!↓

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lmao now they're just straight up trying to wipe the names of executives off of the internet. the light switch has been thrown and the roaches that have infested this house for far too long are scattering like never before.

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When you kill a healthcare ceo, it’s terrorism. When someone shoots your kid in elementary school, it’s thoughts and prayers for like a week and then they move on. It truly shows the fact that terrorism is whatever the american government wants it to mean.

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Briana Boston didn't threaten anyone.

When my grandmother was sent a death threat through text message, I reported it to the police. The officer told me that "it's not considered a death threat unless the message mentions a weapon and a deadline".

As a result, they didn't do anything. Not even a verbal warning to that person.

Or, there's a double standard when it comes to billionaires and big corporations. Who'd have thought.

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This Twitter thread really spoke to me. I wanted to share it with anyone who hasn’t seen it. 

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i love humanity

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“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!