crewel-eelegance - Tumblr blog

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Pretty mentally draining when each time I share about certain f/os or just add them to the conversation they get spoken about negatively which okay can be funny the first time depending on the character and if you're okay with it but it being a constant is severely draining and taking me back to when friends would belittle my interests and ignore me.

I'm not a conflicting individual by nature nor will I engage in disputes. But it's irritating when you get messages like "You're not even talking with us" it would be nice to talk without getting shot down thank you...

I'm all for bringing others up and talking about scenarios with fictional others, but it sucks when you don't even feel safe talking about yours every once in a while.

It's gotten so bad that I'm afraid to bring them up to the friends that don't mind listening to my rambles, ideas and art....

So if anyone has wondered where I've been if any, I've been rotting away in a major depressive funk...

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Been a while since I drew Philippe, granted I’ve been in pain and have poor motivation while sick and having excruciating headaches, but still I miss him. I can’t even play as him as the stress will trigger horrible anxieties very easily and I’ll be in physical pain which I can’t handle very well at this time ;;w;;

Anyway, something self indulgent for me because I can~ I remember in shaky moments in Rank where I’ve actually gotten a complete win, I felt pretty happy since I am usually not so great as Hunter and honestly it’s a nice feeling to feel competent with your main however fleeting it may be for me now ;;w;;

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“Everyone in the world has cried at least once before

Even in the darkest and loneliest of nights, The moon is always shining bright

So walk with me, so cry with me”

To: My Dear Friend - NIve

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Todays IDV adventures have been really fun and hilarious! Professor is becoming a very comfortable character to play for me! And for a detainer, that means they may nerf him I feel ☠️ especially since in general, I am terrible with Detainer and Rescue characters XD 

But anyway, felt too comfortable playing Survivor so went back to play Hunter and since I already got the daily wins, my drive to try and win is dead, but since I’m getting very rusty, I decided mid chase to at least practice chasing and all. 

I followed the Survivor all the way up to the second floor of Sacred Heat Hospital and anticipated them jumping down the broken wall but the wax froze them at the edge and I almost fell. It literally felt like I yanked poor Philippe back to land the hit while screaming. Which made no sense since I was literally just going to help them back up, but it happened anyway and I need to make sure I still know how to Hunt uwu

All in all, very hilarious match. It was so much fun! 

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I have a tendency to give up on sketches especially when they’re very far along because of either depression or anxiety so here’s a possible what if 

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Practice doodles for myself~ I don’t draw stuff like this a lot and it shows, but I think it’s somewhat progress, maybe. Hopefully. Anyway so I have a one track mind and you can guess what it is currently fixated on ;;w;;

Drawing self indulgent scenarios does not come easily and for doodles, these actually took more than five hours. The real doodle is the lower left wolves because that’s all I can draw at all well. 

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i’m serious tho

draw self ship

you got a character you have a major crush on???

draw them smoochin u. draw them hitting on you. draw them leaning in a doorway trying to be all seductive and falling. draw them being protective of you. DRAW YOU AND THEM DANCING LIKE HUGE NERDS!!

if u don’t think anyone will care cuz it’s self indulgent stuff. tag me. i’ll reblog that shit and tag it w how much i ship you two.

the negative connotations behind it are so dumb and i can"t believe i was ever ashamed of this stuff man self ship is fantastic

now go

draw you and ur fave mackin. do it for me

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Sketch doodle of Museum Curator

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He fell asleep with the stuffed animals anyway~ It’s good to be well rested before a match! The plushies are indeed soft and provide much needed warmth and comfort especially when you’re plagued with some physical pains ;;w;; 

Rest well, Philippe! 

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Imagine tilting your romantic F/O’s head so they look at you. Their eyes fall onto your lips as you talk to them, and they can’t help but warm up as they think about you kissing them.

You can tell by their eyes that they’re not listening to you, and the only way to fix that is to indulge them in what they want.

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IMO touching someone’s forehead/face or just skin in general to check if they have a temperature is an underrated form of touch so imagine ur f/o doing it to u, or u doing to to ur f/o.

Imagine the soft look of concern on their face as they gently place their hand on your forehead or cheeks to make sure you’re ok. If you’re hot, maybe they make you a cup of tea or ur comfort food?

Imagine you doing the same for them!! They look at you with total love in their eyes and have to keep themselves from gently pulling u closer to kiss you <3

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This past week has not been kind. Even logging into the game last night did nothing, I just entered and took a nap with Philippe literally just stuck staring at the camera ☠️

Burned out and depressed, I just want to enjoy the game but people really out here trying so hard to be a pro at it while putting others down. At least I was able to help a William out with deductions ;;w;; and met a few nice Luca’s 

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Let's have a dance 💕 🕯🐺

I dont know female anatomy

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Sometimes while playing (usually Rank) if I’m a little frustrated or agitated with outside interference I’ll often lose control of how I play. I’m certain this goes for all characters (or games), but I absolutely must be calm or relaxed when playing Philippe otherwise, my hands will shake so bad with anxiety I’ll only hurt myself more than anything ☠️

Keep reading

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Hi, I’m an embarrassment 

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Personal little thing with my characters

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Imagine your tough/brooding/cold f/o becoming softer and softer overtime, primarily around you. They smile more, they find themselves calling you “sweetie” or “honey” and their whole demeanor seems more relaxed. They love having you in their life and seeing you brightens it.