creaturedilf

[creaturedilf]

Pirate all your favorite shows, movies, and games while you still have the chance.

[creaturedilf]

[creaturedilf]

btw if you’re fat and your partner doesn’t love you wholeheartedly, if they’re attracted to you “despite” your body, if they avoid touching you, if they look away from certain parts of you, you’re allowed to break up with that person. look at me. you can do better. you are not unloveable and you don’t have to settle i fucking promise.

[creaturedilf]

Bit late to the party, unfashionably so

Here's the piece I was working on for N7 Day that I couldn't finish on time so bone apple titty! ✌🏻

[creaturedilf]

All I wanna do is draw this horse.

[creaturedilf]

my buddy told me winged beasts have been amassing in the hills recently and there's nothing anybody anywhere can do about it cause shit's already in motion

[creaturedilf]

So, this is embarassing. Turns out we had all been reading the Voynich Manuscript upside-down this whole time. Yeah there's no mysterious cipher or secret conlang or anything like that going on. Yeah idk how we missed it either. Okay go home everyone.

[creaturedilf]

my doctor told me i have to do PT this fucking sucks

[creaturedilf]

Was drunk and bored and getting annoyed at the ridiculous coverage of the US election so I decided to fix the place.

I'm from Australia where we only have 7 states, as such I have the (objectively correct) opinion that 50 is too many states, so I decided to cut it down to 10.

A few notes on my improved US map:

•Despite Illinois making the cut, Chicago is now in Michigan, due to the state getting the entire bank of its namesake.

•Boston is also in Michigan due to special exception.

•New York is now the capital of Pensylvania

•Yes that's how you spell Pensylvania

•The border of California is just roughly the Rockies, no need to overthink it.

•Making Florida bigger actually dilutes it's power, but Texas must be abolished

•Colorado should still be a rectangle, that's my mistake, I just couldn't be bothered fixing it.

•Alaska has been returned to Canada with a hand written apology

•All the random ass islands that the US forgot to pretend they didn't colonise have gained independence

Please let me know if there are any more improvements you can think of.

Edit: As a number of you have mentioned, Alaska never belonged to Canada, and giving it to them would be incredibly wrong when the native people have been trying to gain independence all this time.

Luckily, the apology note got lost in the mail in all the turmoil, so Canada never realised they're meant to have Alaska now. The Alaskans just start quietly self-governing and hoping the US and Canada don't notice, then after a few years they declare independence.

[creaturedilf]

My mom: “my sweet, it’s time to go to bed”

Me (27): “okay mom, just one more video”

Mom: “fine… but only one, it’s late” (9pm)

Me: *sneakily laughing* “yeah, right… only one” ;)

[creaturedilf]

half of the writers room for gotham (2014-2019) was fully convinced it was a gritty hypermasculine cable cop show and the other half believed they were writing a batman 1966 spiritual successor for the dark cabaret crowd and all of them had conflicting fetishes and every episode was called something like i brought you my bullets you brought me your love and jada pinkett smith had the ghosts of several silver screen divas within her wrestling for control of her performance at all times and they always set aside some time for the penguin serve segment, where robin lord taylor as oswald cobblepot would appear onscreen with his slicked down spiky bangs and cunt it up in ways that the world hadn’t seen since edmund said now gods stand up for bastards in the very first performance of king lear. and nobody involved had ever seen a tv show before so it can’t be judged within those terms.

[creaturedilf]

[creaturedilf]

FAT SLUTS: LIVE FOREVER

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[creaturedilf]

Oh btw I'm reading another star trek novel and chapter 1 just opens like this

[creaturedilf]

honestly i think im good without that thanks

[creaturedilf]

fabulous creature?