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i keep getting fines for “excessive water consumption” it’s not my fault that the basement prison cells all need their own toilets and showers. and like the prisoners are not pulling their weight AT ALL. all they do is sleep and be scared of the rats all day instead of painting with the easels i provided so the fines are really putting a financial strain on the household. if i didn’t need them for their plasma i would have killed them all already because this is nottt as financially lucrative as i thought it would be

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Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

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if you are stinky and wretched please remember to wash your you. then you may still be wretched but at least you won't be stinky.

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Source: Dixie's Cowboy Ranch

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a breakfast tragedy had befallen my household (butter too cold to spread and toast not hot enough to melt it)

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Finally got a clear shot of noonoo carrying her spring, it's her favourite toy

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Explain yourself.

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Idk das ganze 'die machen ja nichts' Geheule geht mir halt hart auf den Keks. Das Kindergeld wurde vorletztes Jahr um 30 Euro hochgesetzt. Das ist eine größere einmalige Hochsetzung als es in der gesammten Geschichte des Kindergeldes seit Einführung 1998 (Rot-Grünes Projekt, btw!) gab. Das ist so viel in einem Jahr, wie während der kompletten Wirtschaftskriese ('05-'11) inkrementär draufgelegt wurde. Und das mit dem Lindner-Sack am Bein, und wir haben ja alle gesehen wie der Rotz und Schnotten heult wenn er nicht Kinder hungern und frieren lassen kann. Die ursprünglichen Pläne waren ambitionierter und spezifisch für die Einkommensschwächsten ausgelegt und wurden von der FDP blockiert.

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Funniest (fantasy) way to find out you're trans I think. Assigned male by ancient prophecy

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Imagine my shock as a neurodivergent teen when I first realized that using large vocabulary and eloquent speech doesn't make you less likely to be misinterpreted, rather it adds an entirely new layer of misinterpretation I had never even realized existed in the form of people thinking you're being snobbish or condescending when you're just trying to be specific

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if somebody you knew for a year said "listen. im just gonna be honest here. i know ive known you too long to not know your name. but i simply do not. i dont know how this happened. im reasonably confident you told me your name at some point. could you remind me please" how would you react

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giving unread book back to the library makes me feel like i should be shot

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