cre8tivlife

[cre8tivlife]

Learning about EFT

So, I ended up buying an online course(well, actually I bought several different courses about things that interest me) about EFT. I just started the course today, I got through the first two lessons.

Lesson 1 was more of a self enquiry regarding what "control, protection and approval" or the seeking of all three look like for me.

I was surprised that in my writing I was able to see that ALOT of my day is spent "effort"ing to control the outcome of another's emotions. Ain't that a b*tch? I mean that I clean so that me hubby "will" not be upset by the state of our home when he arrives from work. Which a lot of people, women especially, would say is normal to want to keep a clean space for your partner, but is it? I mean sure, to an extent, but what about when that is your only motivation to get things done? And why do I find this motivating? I am not motivated by his complements or recognition because he gives me none, so that's not it. I am not motivated to clean so that he will relax in his clean home. Until now I've realized that my motivation has come from the IDEA that I can CONTROL his emotional state to coming home from work, which is pretty freaking ridiculous. I know that his emotions and life experience and lessons and path are his alone. I cannot control them, nor is it my responsibility to control, match or cater to his moods, energy, thoughts or feelings. I know that if I don't do the things that are expected of me NOTHING will happen, no one will die, my life will not be in danger, he will not DO anything to me, yet the need to make things as picturesque as possible lingers. Often, I spend time trying to figure out his emotional state and the reasons for it, neither of which are my responsibility.

I understand that I must release the desire to control the outcome(in this situation someone else's feelings) and instead accept that all is well, that I am safe. Nothing very serious is going on here.

I will work, instead, on maintaining my home at my own pace. To help me with this, instead of worrying about what he might think when I clean I will instead ask myself "what would you be doing to maintain your home for YOURself? How would YOU like to see your home? What task would YOU like to prioritize?" I have to remember to take my Self back, I'd been giving my power away for so long. I have to live for me. So now I ask, if I didn't expect anything from him at all, how would I see myself? Him? My home? My worth? My routines? Which is how it should be. Unconditional. I find that I expect SO MUCH of him that now I have to release those expectations. He is not here to fill my expectations as much as I a am not here to fill his expectations. And when I stop PROJECTING what I BELEIVE are his expectations of me I am able to see myself and him more clearly.

I release the expectations that I hold for myself and others. I love myself unconditionally. I accept that I am worthy of all the blessing that my vortex holds for me and I make conscious decisions that allow me to line up with the most positive outcomes, not to control them. After all, this is life. It's a wild ride.

All is well. I am safe. I am loved. I am Love.

[cre8tivlife]

Just stuff

I don't really know what to do on Tumbler. Like, I get it, you share your stuff, its a blog but IDK what kind of stuff to share. So if you're reading this: good luck. IDK what I'm doing here. ;-)