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Tumblr has a low social media market share in South America.
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First Franksgorging
Messasuet and the Pigrams feast at the first festive gorgery
Main course: frankenfurters. Pigrams brought only mustard while the Messasuet tribe furnished coyote meat in lieu of dog. Dog was a highly prized gourmet delicacy served only on religious occasions such as beheadings and ritualistic orgies at the tepee temple.. After months of slaughtering each other the two sides decided to meet for dinner in late November and try to settle things peacefully over some juicy coyote haunch garnished with crowbladder sauce and topped off with pancreas pie. Wiles Outlandish and his main squeeze, Porkahumptress, both agreed and so the first Franksgiving was planned. A minor uproar was put down when some hostages from a nearby tribe objected to the honor of being prepared for those who did not like coyote and preferred to dine on red meat. They were soon quieted and kettled, adding some diversity to the menu. “Ingrates”, mused Messasuet. “It ain’t like we were going to torture them. Just cook them. They should be proud to be part of this hickstorical pigout.” The epochal feast was served and everyone gorged, then went off into the bushes to dump. The reveler leaving the biggest pile won a prize, a native crone of his own to take home. The next month another European ship arrived, bringing measles, plague and pox, wiping out all the Messasuets.
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SAVE THE BIRDS
GNN TURKSGIVING PROCLAMATION DAY OF TURKICIDE
Now is the time when we, inmates of the Enchanted Kingdom of Medicare Meadows, gather in our filthy ratpads to give thanks for the blessings bestowed ape on us by our most powerful deity, the Mighty Kong and his flying monkey minions.
FIRST: Thank Almighty God for the Electoral College. Our great nation dodged a bullet there.
Give thanks, you cowering, cringing wretches, that: a certain inmate no longer lives here to torment us and stir up wrath with her arm-waving lectures about how unendurable life is here and then, when she is finally evicted, BION, actually wants to move BACK!!! the PR mgr is gone; (I’m from the Bronx! I’m from the Bronx! Ad nauseam) we have Pious Bob, the Patriape of the First United Church of Kong, to guard and guide us.
the bountiful dumpster provides us with all we need; the new Mooslim owners may allow us to convert and keep our heads; (Korans now on sale at Castle Confusion Room) there is always plenty of dog poop to nourish the grass; our poor, poverty-stricken inmates have the best clothed dogs in the world. science has developed the Big V to help the worst elements in our society “come up” and prolong their breeding life, spawning more hoodies, druggies and criminal parasites for the rest us to support. we can all avail ourselves of tranny surgery. if one doesn’t like being Louis, now you may be mutilated into Louise. After all, Vi Hagra was once Vince Hagra! that we’re not all living in Tent City after the boondoggled gut-rehab; the ostrich escaped and will not be on the menu. See Wrex Roadhawg.
And, above all, give thanks that this message is over.
Vi Hagra, Secretart for Al Z. Heimer, owner & Editor, Geezer News Network.
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SCARECRONE
MM INMATE WINS HORRQUEEN TITLE
To be feted at Universal Fearfest Will serve as White House Scarecrone lawn ornament
Cronesuela Fearmost, a dreaded and detested inmate of the MM Big House (aka “Bughouse) was clowned Horror Queen of Morbid Meadows in a desultory ceremony held at the rain-swept Crone Castle parking lot. Although no one attended, it was covered by GNN, the cosmic famous Geezer News Network headed by Geezermodo.
Cronesuela will represent MM at the international horror festival to be held next Horrween at Castle Dracula in Transylvania . Inmates of Crone Castle hope and pray that she remains there.
Interviewed by your intrepid GNN correspondent, Geezermodo his very own self, the ghastly creature gloated, “Isn’t it just wonderful? And I don’t even need costumes, masks or make-up. I look just like this all year around.”
G is in therapy at this time but is, unfortunately, expected to recover. If no one adopts him as a therapy pet he is slated to be sacrificed at the next Horror Festival.
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MM Crone-cil Mtg
SNAFU
Some decorum was achieved after MM Security was called. Several inmates, injured during the opening fracas, were EMTeed and taken down to Dr. Acula’s clinic. One 4perv geezer was taken to Dr. Stein’s lab for Monster parts. No one present would admit it so roll was skipped and commencements were commenced. Last month’s minutes could not be read or approved as they are still held by the District Attorney as evidence in the case of the last meeting. Treasurer’s Report. None. Treasurer last seen in the company of Lola Lustrouser boarding a plane bound for Rio. Bank balance = big fat red ZERO.
BIRTHDAY DINNERS. If you want a free meal, check the Dumpsters or Food Kitchen. THANKSGIVING. Turkicide Day has been cancelled due to successful protesting and lobbying by the Fowl Friends Association who suggest grilled cheese samriches. CHRISTMAS. Also called off. End Time due either this month or early December. INMATE CRONECIL. Nominated victims will be approached next visiting day at the LEC to ask if they really want to be part of this travesty. If their bail can be raised and they are captured they will be identified next month, End Times permitting. REMINDER: Koran class sponsored by the Muslim Investment Group is held daily in the Confusion Room. Attendance is mandatory and the entire Koran must be memorized in classic Arabic by the Takeover of Islamabad, Infidels. Allah Akbar!
BOB. Please return the DVD player, the ice cream, pop and ALL the XXX films.
B’day sign-up sheets no longer necessary due to dindin cancellations. See Food Kitchen site fillmy.gut for more info. Corn meal mush special on Tuesdays. Yum! Holiday Deco: Forget it, folks. All holidays deemed racist, sexist, chauvinistic, anti-tranny, offensive to LGQBT or Undecideds. Any holiday at all will offend someone. Lock your doors, turn off lights and try silent meditation in your ratpad.
CONCERN: All you filthy old geezers out there better be aware that with the passage of VAWA the party is over! Don’t even dare look at us, you filthy, groping perverts. Don’t even smile, blink, squint, speak or even breathe!
Remember, December is Cook-A-Geezer month. Pick a geezer & we’ll BBQ him.
Goombye for now. Have a Happy End Times. See you at the Rapture.
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JOBS at MM
Part time Halloween jobs: Inmates can rent themselves out as Halloween lawn ornaments and scarecrones. Must be able to frighten children and stand still for 30 minutes even if a brqr uses you for a marker. Trannies welcome to apply. [email protected] for on-line app.
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Inmate Crone Council
Crone Council Nomination Once again it’s time to erect a new inmate council. Quaff a happy pill cocktail, gird up your Depends and let’s get with it. Pass that brandy and cigars over here, Clown!
Crone Castle and the 4-Play are the 2 drone zones for the purpose of regulation and inmate control. Each block, or zone, should have 3 reps chosen by the inmates of their respective confinement site where they await transition and eternal flame. There will be no “alternates” as no one is going to fill in for anyone on this deal. DOOM! If you have read this far and are still interested, seek professional medical help immediately. You obviously have serious mental health problems. Nominations for these posts are presumed to be anonymous but there are always rat finks who will squeal and leak so don’t count on it. Names will be collected and turned over to the MM branch of Homeland Security. Nominees will be apprehended individually and beer-boarded. If they persist in serving they will be turned over to Dr. Stein’s clinic for gut rehab, surgical implantation of an Artificial Intelligence chip and cloning. Next year they will be offered at the annual MM garage sale. Unsold subjects will be composted and mulched. Those found to be of alien ancestry will be taken to Cape Canaveral to await transport by their mother ship back to their planet of origin. Turn in victims at least 10 days prior to scheduled court dates.
Go outdoors regardless of weather & circle your zone 15 times. No Barkers! Then return to your ratpad to await SWAT teams and tear gas.
List 3 nominees below: 1. Commander Hook 2. Vi Hagra 3. Bea L. Zeebub
No meetings will ever be held as anyone who responds to this will immediately be taken into custody.
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GNN - MM October News
Crone Queen of MM enthroned at annual Big V Festival Banquet catered by Food Kitchen and Road Kill Catering Orga Lustina for GNN Terror at Crone Castle first floor Board of Barker Control Overwhelmed; Seeks succor. Deadly predators were disguised as porcelain curios. Owner in stand-off on CC 1st floor with strange creature, “Feal, Leaf, Lafe; or something similar. Conspicuous crone consumption occurred in MM’s Lizard Lounge when Nile Crocodile and Amazon Alligator escaped and terrorized Crone Castle. Inmates and therapy pets were devoured in a real-life “JAWS!” scenario. Surviving 1st floor inmates were evacuated after several fell prey to the ravenous reptiles; 2nd and 3rd floors sealed off by flooding stairwells with acidic foam and electrifying the elevator. As of this GNN release, the stand-off continues. The owner of the carnivorous crocs denied everything, saying “ I bin dissed, profiled and set-up. I am innocent. All Bob’s* fault. They were in the car.!” *(Refers to 4perv geezer Poor Bob, blamed for everything since the Cain/Abel case, the Great Flood, the defeat of Troy, the Chicago fire and the fatal fall of King Kong .
Annual dog fashion show in the Confusion Room. Prizes for best-dressed barkers and their “mommies”. Bring pee blotters and poop sacks. Funds from brqr clothing drive will provide suitable apparel for nude barkers often seen polluting the sacred MM aerated turf.
MM Crone Coven says they will try to contact Eve with a view towards charging Adam with harassment and improper groping. Strife and stress in the first family led to the Garden expulsion and the consequent first murder. Adam should be charged as an accessory. Chances for success are dim though. Last month, in trying to get Jack Benny, the Coven produced Jack the Ripper. The confusion room was demolished and Jack is still being sought by MM Security and Hollywood. A reward of 12 month’s worth of happy pills is on offer.
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Monthly Crone Council Meeting
Crone Castle Council Convenes Soma May Beech for GNN
4Perv intruder seized; beer-boarded MMCC calls for Cheatsworth cease fire conference Roll: No one would admit being present. However, MM Security covertly took a group photo of attendees to be placed in the MedicAid Meadows archives. TREASURER: No cash on hand. Bankruptcy and lawsuits loom. Treasurer last seen arriving at the boat in a new Cadillac Escalade accompanied by Vi Hagra and her sister, Harlotta. 90 minutes later the casino had everything. The former treasurer was seen floundering in the river. Vi and Harlotta returned to Medicare Meadows and resumed their activities as resident pleasure activists. We are DOOMED. The minutes of the last melee, er, I mean, meeting have been turned over to the 5th US district court pending investigation and eventual indictment of the previous Council. Last month the end of the world was delayed and will now happen this month. So there may not be a November conclave of the Castle Crone Council. The Crone Coven has assured all inmates there will be no escape this time. Just hope it happens before the hideous MM Horrorween festival and Turkicide Day. At least we may be spared those 2 ordeals. Inmates are warned that, in any case, rents MUST be paid. The Council Store plans a pre End Times sale in the Confusion Room. XXX brqrs. Several MM inmates have reported seeing a brqr, known only as “my baby” running about the sacred turf with no clothes on. Brqr Control reminds inmate owner/slaves that brqrs are not permitted to run around naked but must be seasonally clad and either on a leash with the other end in the paw or hand of the O/S. Brqrs may also be carried or drawn in wagons by their respective “mommies”.
First United Church of Kong seeks bus fund donations. See the current Apebishop at the LEC about contributing to his bail, attorney fund and the bus. Cash only.
For Sale: Group photo of CC members. See [email protected] Watch the latest episode of “Game of Crones” on GNN-TB Friday night.
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Poop Trot
MM BOARD OF BARKER CONTROL
POOP/PIDDLE CHIP MAY NEGATE POOP TROT AT MM
Poop and piddle stimulus chips to be implanted in MM Brqrs. *
After transchip surgical installation PT will no longer be necessary. The brqr owner/slave will carry a transceiver with 2 buttons. One for piddle and one for the big one, the awesome DDDD. Place brqr in an approved pp zone, press button and VOILA! PT finis!
Owner/slaves are warned, however. NEVER push both buttons at the same time. This confuses the brqr and the vet emtees may be summoned. They are not amused by such antics as it interrupts their TV viewing and they have ways to get even.
MM brqr slaves are reminded that p/p samples are required before the end of the month, or the world, whichever comes first. Turn in adequate specimens of each waste product obtained from your brqr to the lab of Dr. Acula located in the byzantine subterranean reeking bowels far beneath Crone Castle. NIGHTS ONLY!
Failure to comply will result in the impoundment of subject brqr and transfer to Barkmore Prison or the nearest Korean gourmet restaurant for menuation. The former slaves of the brqr will be sent to Dr. Frank N. Stein’s lab for use as parts in his valiant work on the Monster.
* One exception. Brqr going by the mysterious cognomen of “Lafe, Leaf, Feal, Alfe, or a similar baffling esoteric appellation, is not subject to the above poop plan. MM BBC has not been able to determine if this creature is a brqr or some alien anomaly. Placed on hold pending further research by the MM Stein Clinic.
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EHC
Everything Has Collapsed Be wary of anyone e-named cravenswine. That handle bodes evil. Best to avoid such a nutwhacko. Play Donkeycrone.
The big news here at MM is that the Muslim Investment Group that bought us after Gut Rehog is going to turn the place into an ISIS beheading academy. They will teach the finer points of swordsmanship and neck severance. We, that is the infidels who haven’t memorized the Koran yet, will be used as demo subjects for the final every Friday afternoon. Needless to say, Koran sales up at the Crone Castle store have skyrocketed.
Dr. Stein has converted and so the Monster does not have to be tranny chopped by genitalectomy now. I, of course, am safe having converted pre-Rehog and am now Adjunct Kahlif in charge of the Archives. Signing off.
B. L. Zeebub with Lewda Lustrouser , secretart and pleasure activist.
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MINUTES: KRONE KOUNCIL KONCLAVE FRIDAY 15 SEP ’17 Follow us on Farcebabble #mmcronecouncil Permanent Presideent Porcina Pulchritude Presently Pontifically Presiding
Meeting brought to order by the MM Strategic Combat Unit & Geezerslayer Squad
A roll call was attempted but no one would admit to being present.
MM chaplain Revrum Kapton Flemhocker rose to give the malediction but suddenly fell into a writhing, frothing, screaming tirade about the End Times. ‘DOOM! We are all doomed, you fools,” he yelled kicking and slobbering. He kept shouting: End of the World on September 23, 2017: Bible prophecy warns The Capture is COMING!!! REPENT! MTs were called and gurneyed him out in restraints. “Don’t worry” one said. “Happens all the time. We’ll hit him with an IVX* and he’ll be OK tomorrow. Let’s all just pray he’s right.” *Xanax directly into nutcase’s bloodstream via IV solution.
Our choir sang Rules for Thee, Not Me, the MM anthem, before being silenced.
The minutes of the last KKK were to be read but they are held by law enforcement as evidence in the trial of last month’s Kouncil who are all in hiding after that mess.
Before commencing one obstreperous 4 player or plexer perv had to be gavel-smashed and gurneyed out. Then business commenced with a report from:
Caramia Mein of the Rehog Transition Team for Trannie Mutilation Surgery. “Our inmates need to be informed that they can now take advantage of trans-med services offered at Dr. Stein’s Klinik for those who are uncomfortable with their pre-natal gender assignment and and wish to explore lifestyles on the “other side”. First see Dr. Acula for blood work and then, if they have survived, report to Igor at the abattoir.”
Koran lessons continue in the Confusion Room. Aknee Abdullard Morono, Islamic scholar and tutor for MM, would like to remind absentees that they will suffer the inevitable fate of the infidel kaffir and are assured they will soon be a head shorter.
Then fighting broke out. Security called. Meeting ended in mayhem & malice..
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Inmate Council Notes
GEEZER NEWS NETWORK (GNN) Aroma Breakwind reporting
Abolish slobry at Mahomet Meadows. Free the slobs! Reparations due for slobs. “Not fair we were born slobs.” Join ASS (American Slobry Society).
Thought for the day: Never buy anything that must be fed, groomed or painted.
“Memoirs of Medicare Meadows” coming out this fall. Reserve your copy now. Shocking, revealing tell-all no holds barred book about life in Hell’s foyer in the years before gut rehog and the recent change in ownership and conversion to Mahomet Meadows. Buy now as all copies of this book are sure to be seized and burned shortly after publication. Sure “fire” collector’s item. Book signing in Confusion Room by the author, Geezermodo hisself. Also, in the MM crime series: “The Missing Period”. The latest entry in the Mysteries of Menopause Meadows anthology of thrillers amongst the Senilites.
Herr Baron Doktor Frank N. Stein has announced that work on the Monster may be delayed due to problems with the Sexual Equality Commission. It has ruled that the creature has to be either gender neutral or transgendered. “I’m not sure what they want”, said Doktor Stein. “After all, he is a widower, his bride having died in an explosion and fire some years ago.” MM senilites had hoped the Monster would be operable & used in the fall attack on Cheatsworth. (WHOOPS! That was classified TS. Oh well.) Count Dracula, presently residing in a Transylvanian nursing home, could not be reached. GNN will try again after sundown.
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RENT
A squatter’s gone. She done went At the mention of That awful “rent!”
SA says She could have stayed But that “rent” Must be paid.
So she panicked And took flight. That word “rent” Caused her fright.
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ADVICE
Never own anything that must be fed, groomed or painted.
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De E - Clipse
GNN Eclipse Special Edition Waldo Ratfink, for GNN Bea Esser, Sexretart
MM inmates upset when eclipse interrupts Bingo. “Can’t they have those at night? The only blackout I care about better be on my bingo card.” bellowed Porcina. “Besides, it sounds racist and I feel micro-aggressed, dissed and profiled. If there is ever another one include me out!” It is said the Capture is imminent but no specific dates are set.
MM Krone Koven suddenly reappeared during the Eclipse with tales of life in Heaven. Described it as nearly deserted except for preachers and ministers shouting things like “See! We warned you. We told you so! You should have listened to us!” Some claim to have spotted one or two Apostles and possibly Elvis. Then a man, apparently their agent, told them to deny ever being gone at all. After that they would not speak to GNN. The agent/spokesman said a book and movie are in the works.
MM inmates will be tested on the Eclipse Friday in the Confusion Room. No cell phones or coaches! Bring at least one change of Depends and your own happy pills.
Vi Hagra, infamous MM pleasure activist, starts “dating service”on Farcebook. For more info go to Fbook #DiddleVi. Have credit card handy. See demo on YouTube.
Tonight’s GNN Moobie “Frankensaurus”. Mad MM scientist Herr Doktor Baron Bicker von Grossgut mistakenly (or, deliberately) blends the DNA of Tyrannosaurus Rex in with the physiognomy of his latest monster which then attacks Cheatsworth thereby breaking the fragile truce and igniting the 38th Street war again. Filmed entirely at Mahomet Meadows and featuring many Crone Castle inmates in horrifying cameo roles. Note: This film will only be shown once and then destroyed. Not recommended for any age group. Bring solar glasses and large capacity barf bucket. Rated 4X.
From GNN: Rumors about a re-run of the Eclipse are not true. People may have confused it with Ecrypts, the online internment option run by Dedangone Disposal. Subscribers to this service can be converted to electronic data particles and file themselves on their own cell phone, iPad or computer for eternal cosmic care. At any time your survivors can bring up your bio file and assure themselves that you are indeed most certainly gone. Be sure to have adequate storage space and battery back-up in case of power failure. Go to readyornot.end for more info.
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GURNEY JOURNEY
Gurney Journey
On the floor in the can lay a ragged old man. He’d fallen during the night.
A bell cord was near but he’d been told very clear Not to ring it until daylight.
He found that he could stand the pain if he would Hold his breath and ignore the smell.
Time dragged on But just before dawn He gave up and rang the dang bell.
EmTees rushed in With sirens and din saying when they saw him there:
“Cool it, boys This ain’t worth the noise. Only an OD on Big V again!”
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NOTES:MM INMATE COUNCIL J. Gurgle McSwill reporting Elsie Bovine, sexretard
The monthly chaos was gaveled, rapped, cudgeled and Maced into order by the awesome dragoness, Mo Burner. Several inmates were taken into custody by MM Security and dragged out for beer-boarding until the inevitable signed confessions resulted.
The opening hymn, “How Gross We Art” was mercifully cut.
Various panel reports followed. The Eclipse Commission: Eclipse declared a national disaster. Women and minorities to suffer most. Valid “dis’bility” claim for stress and trauma. $$$ Possible Rx for an anxiety pet to aid in eclipse coping with deadly post-eclipstical mental injury syndrome. EPA/NASA to be sued. Good news is that the End Times and Capture are still on track.
Plans for the Eclipse are on hold right now while a possible civil rights violation is being studied. It seems the 2:30 minutes of darkness may be offensive and aggressive to minorities. The whole show may have to be postponed or maybe even cancelled. Those outside the path of totality say they have been “dissed”.
Report of the Krone Koven Kommission: Still not a clue as to the complete disappearance of the entire Krone Kastle Koven. They vanished last month and have not been seen or heard of since. The Cheatsworth Coven has been aiding us in trying to establish contact with Lucifer or one of his minions but so far nothing. We did momentarily get Jack the Ripper but, naturally, that link was immediately terminated. Our efforts will continue under the master necromancer, B. L. Zeebub and his staff. Donations needed.
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