the important thing is to make characters who are fucked up in similar ways to u and then to give them the strength to keep going. so that even by thinking of them u may be able to gift urself this strength too. the other important thing is to make hot women
anti-porn in art people are scary to me and are just thinly veiled puritans and queer/transphobes underneath. "it's not just ew sex gross" sex repulsion (which is valid) but people who go out of their way to say for example, furry porn, is the the reason why the west is degenerating or their version of "porn" could include queer folks existing, especially trans folks in art and would call for a ban on that type of artwork or media because it's "woke propaganda think of the children". people often forget smut is an expression of self just like any other type of art.
when you throw porn artists under the bus, especially queer ones, think about what I said up top.
imo the best way to interpret those “real people don’t do x” writing advice posts is “most people don’t do x, so if a character does x, it should be a distinguishing trait.” human behavior is infinitely varied; for any x, there are real people who do x. we can’t make absolute statements. we can, however, make probabilistic ones.
for example, most people don’t address each other by name in the middle of a casual conversation. if all your characters do that, your dialogue will sound stilted and unnatural. but if just one character does that, then it tells us something about that character.