craneberri

[craneberri]

someone convince me that downloading PDFs is not actually the same thing as working on my dissertation

[craneberri]

best m/f dynamic is a flamboyant bisexual show-off desperately in love with an extremely practical girl who’s difficult to impress 🤩

[craneberri]

if you need something to cheer you up today look at these two piggies sniffing each other on a greek red figure vase

[craneberri]

Uh i sure hope there's not

[craneberri]

Archery practice

[craneberri]

the gods on their distant thrones: oh boy, a new century! can't wait to see what exciting new mythic heroes humanity has come up with!

humans every single century no matter what: hnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhh odysseus

[craneberri]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

[craneberri]

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

[craneberri]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cp91knr7ygpo?

[craneberri]

Yoink

[craneberri]

200% on the Kickstarter already? Amazing!!!

[craneberri]

[craneberri]

🫵 STOP! you are doomscrolling. tell me your favorite animal instead

[craneberri]

Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

[craneberri]

finding out there's a frankenstein ballet and that it was in october of last year…DEVASTATING

look at this. look at these. im foaming at the mouth

[craneberri]

family friend who is a high school librarian ordered, by accident, a book of Greek myth inspired cocktails¹ for the library which they proceeded to give to me. it contains some horrors which I have to share. (paired with photos of the illustrations for scale, some unrelated)

The recipe for this is burned into my brain now. It haunts me. YOGURT. TWO OUNCES OF YOGURT? ONE OUNCE OF RYE WHISKEY ONE OUNCE OF SIMPLE SYRUP HALF AN OUNCE OF OUZO???? Why would you make this. How would you even drink it.

things that are in a bellini: prosecco (❌), peach (kind of, whatever) things that are not in a fucking bellini: half an ounce of olive oil

whole egg! just one whole egg in your cocktail!! raw fucking egg yolk in your goddamn cocktail enjoy!!! also catch the 'odysseus was just rollicking around with women for his whole journey', yes this comes up several times, yes it's infuriating

it’s not like I know that much about drinking but even I know shaking heavy cream and lemon juice together is going to be fucking disgusting. and now i've inflicted all these on you and you all have to know about it.

¹Nectar of the Gods, by Liv Albert (the myth stuff) and Thea Engst (the cocktail stuff)

[craneberri]

I want to see old age with you