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[crackedmirrorseries-blog]

Chapter 3

It’s hard to go from dreaming straight into consciousness, especially when you were just napping. Unfortunately, it seemed to be even worse for Parker. When she was tired enough, too lethargic to get out of bed or even to keep her eyes open, she would often fall asleep again, but never for long. With her brain open to other influences, such as the dreams of the other world, came the susceptibility to sleep paralysis.

The first time it happened, Parker had thought she had died. It was scary to wake up and be aware of your surroundings but not be able to move an inch. It was kind of like being inside Parker II’s memories, but at least during those she got to feel the movement and feelings that the other Parker did.

She can’t remember what the dream she had been having was about, but suddenly, she was thrown into wakefulness, but still couldn’t move. She laid in her bed until finally, something gave, and she was able to open her eyes.

This time was different than the first, and all the times in-between, because this time, she began to hallucinate. Parker had done a minimal amount of online research and learned that people sometimes had fever dream-like hallucinations when they experienced sleep paralysis. Thankfully, this had not been something she had ever encountered. There’s a first time for everything, right?

The other Parker’s words were still bouncing around in her head, “they’re hunting you,” as she began to crawl towards consciousness. When she tried to force them out and get out of bed, the words only grew into a cacophony of sound and mutated into both a lower and high pitch simultaneously. It was like a horrific nursery rhyme with children’s piercing voices being accompanied by the devil himself. She could feel her chest tightening as she realized that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t move a muscle in her body.

The darkness behind her eyelids began to morph into what her mind thought the room looked like. Instead of her usual brightly lit, clean room she was in a dark and dirty version where everything cast too long of a shadow. The shadows seemed to seep off the wall towards the center of her room as the words began to build even louder than before. But she could still hear the fan in her room, the one that was always left running due to poor circulation in the house.

This isn’t real, I’m still dreaming. I lied down for a nap and now I’m going to wake up.

Her positive mentality seemed to be working ever so slightly, but the shadows only broke apart momentarily before reforming and reaching out towards parker.

The fan is on; I can feel it. I can hear it. Dad will be home soon and he’ll wake me up for dinner.

At the thought of her father the shadows grew darker and more solid, becoming a smoky mass rather than just a wisp.

The shadows can’t touch me. This isn’t real, it’s just a dream. My dad is real. Parker II is real. Emmet is real. Dirk is real. Salma is real. But this is just a dream.

As she thought harder and harder about her dream life, the shadows seemed to be vacuumed back into the walls. The darkness had almost completely overcome the room, and in a moment, it had all but vanished.

Parker came to with a sharp intake of breath as she finally opened her eyes for real. She knows herself well enough that she knows she’ll have to sit up or get out of bed to prevent falling asleep again. She decides on the later and carefully gets out of bed to go check if her father was home yet.

She found her dad in the kitchen, stirring a pot on the stove. When she walked into the room he called out a short, “Hey, kiddo.”

“Hey, dad,” she replied as she took a seat in one of the rickety chairs at the table. The table itself was old and worn down from years of abuse. After moving into a smaller apartment when her mom left, Parker and her dad had to go search for smaller furniture. The family sets weren’t a good fit anymore.

They had found the table and two mismatching chairs at a secondhand shop when they were looking for the cheapest they could find. She loved sitting in the tiny kitchen with her father as he cooked. Every piece of furniture told a different story, of its previous owners, of the grooves and marks that had been worn in since the addition to the Troys’ apartment. Parker usually likes to think up stories that match each mark, but today she couldn’t bring herself to do any more than just staring blankly at a burn mark from when she had set a boiling pot of water down on the table without a hot pad.

Parker II’s mother had taught her how to cook efficiently. She could make almost any boxed meal and so much more. It was hard for Parker to think of those moments lost, especially when she could hardly do more than fry eggs and make instant ramen.

“How was school today?” her father questioned, interrupting her thoughts before she got too deep into the false memories.

“It was okay. Not great, but,” she paused for a moment, wondering how to best describe how drained she felt, “y’know.”

“Yeah, I do know. How were you after this morning? Were you just ‘y’know’?”

Parker let out a quick laugh at her father’s use of her own words.He always seemed to know how to get her out of her head. “I was fine. Worse this afternoon after school actually than this morning.”

“Why is that?” He turned around, spoon still in hand, to finally take a good look at her. She tried to figure out how to explain her dream without sounding like a lunatic to him, but even explaining it at all would require a lot more background.

When she didn’t respond, he set the spoon down and walked over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and crouching down to her level. “You don’t have to talk about it, especially if it was about him, but I just want to know if you’re doing alright. You haven’t been sleeping much which is typical, but if this isn’t something typical causing it, I want to know if I can help.”

Parker looked into his eyes, his brows were furrowed as he searched her face for clues of a response. She stared him down for a moment deciding to speak, but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. Her thoughts were still a jumbled mess, but she wanted to say something. What ended up coming out was just, “Your pot is boiling over,” as she glanced over his shoulder towards the stove.

He quickly jogged over to the stove and moved the food off the burner before turning it off. While he went about finishing up dinner, Parker realized the moment had passed. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to her dad about her dreams, it was that she didn’t know how. How was she supposed to tell him that she got to see Emmet when he didn’t? How could she tell him that in another life, his wife wouldn’t have left? How could she possibly tell him her secret and break his heart? Children aren’t supposed to be the ones taking care of their parents at such a young age, but it seems the universe or universes had other plans.

This wasn’t the first time she had wanted to tell her dad, it wasn’t even the first time she had come close to spilling everything, but it was the first time she had been this affected by a dream in a while. Her head was torn between thinking about how to tell her dad, thinking about what Parker II had said, and thinking about ways she could get in contact with Dirk or try to find Salma.

In the end, Parker didn’t have enough time to come to a consensus; tell or not tell. Her dad set down a bowl of pasta on the table and grabbed plates and silverware. “Bon appetit.”

“Do you really have to say that every time?” Parker griped as she began spooning pasta onto her plate.

“It’s a tradition!” He defended, “would you rather we say grace before every meal?”

“No no, your butchered French is much better,” Parker replied with a laugh.

They lapsed into silence as they ate. That was typical of dinner, her father would cook and they would chat a bit, but when it came time to eating, they’d both rather get it done quickly with no interruptions. In the other world, her family would sit around the table all four of them and chat as they ate. More often than not, there was laughter and joking that accompanied a meal. Salma and Dirk ate over frequently as well, as did Emmet’s friends.

As Parker sat in silence with her father, she thought about how different things could have been. Instead of an uneasy but sometimes companionable silence around an old, secondhand table, there could be joyous conversation full of life while packed around the first piece of furniture her parents had bought together. Instead of spaghetti and meatballs prepared with just enough time to finish, there could be an almost four course meal with sides, bread, and desert, each family member preparing something different for the night.

It was getting harder and harder for Parker to ignore the truth: she could never be happy here, not truly. With this peephole into a surreal world where everything seemed to be almost magically perfect, her real life could never compare. As the stories always said; magic comes at a price, one she wasn’t sure she was willing to pay.

Parker hadn’t noticed she had stopped eating and only did when her father questioned, “Kiddo?”

She looked up and met his eyes quickly, having to shut hers before they began to water in earnest.

“Sorry,” she muttered as she dug her palms into her eyes.

“Hey,” her dad replied in a soft voice, “let’s go sit on the couch for a bit, yeah?”

She didn’t trust her voice to not come out garbled, so she just nodded and beelined into the TV room. As she sat herself down on one end of the couch, back pressed against the arm and feet resting in the middle cushion, she concentrated on figuring out what to say.

Hey dad, I have consistent dreams of an alternate universe where Emmet is alive and mom is still here and I know they’re real. Also, there’s this girl there that I’m in love with but have no idea who she really is besides my best friend. And oh! There’s this thing that might be coming after me because of this unless I find two other people that can help me stop it. All caught up?

This didn’t seem like a good fit for a serious conversation, but she felt like it was time to finally discuss it. When her dad finally walked in, he took a seat at the other end of the couch, angling his torso to look at her but leaving his feet planted on the ground, giving her an escape if she needed it. It was quiet for a while as he waited for her to say anything and he eventually averted his gaze.

Parker finally found her voice and spoke, “I know I said it wasn’t about him, but it is.”

“Kiddo-” he began but was cut off when Parker continued.

“But it’s not just him, it’s so much more.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that right?”

“I just don’t want you to think less of me after I say this,” Parker responded with a sniffle, rubbing at her eyes again and averting her gaze.

“Kiddo, I would never think less of you for anything. I just want to understand what’s going on to see if there’s any way I can help.”

“Okay I want to tell you, but you can’t say anything until I’m completely done.”

“Why-” he began, eyebrows drawing ever closer together before she cut him off again.

“Because, if you interrupt me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through it all again.”

“Alright.”

“Also, can you turn around or look forward,” she asked almost shyly, “I don’t want to see your face when I tell you.”

“Kiddo-”

“Dad, please,” she pleaded, still on the verge of tears. He patted her food once before turning his torso so he was face ninety degrees away from her, his line of peripheral vision only catching the vaguest of shapes on the couch.

“I’m not sure how to explain this at all without sounding insane-”

“Kid-”

“Dad, please don’t.” Again, the room lapped into silence as Parker debated the best way to articulate her situation. I’m thinking too hard; I just need to start talking.

“So here’s the thing, my dreams aren’t just dreams. And when I say that I know you’re thinking ‘well yeah they’re nightmares!’ But dad, they’re so much more than that and they’re not even bad, they’re actually pretty fantastic! But they’re also real. And again I know you’re thinking, ‘they’re dreams, how could they be real?’ but that’s where things get a little weird.” Parker paused to catch her breath. She reveled in what she thought would be one of the last moments she would have with her dad before he thought of her differently, before she would break his heart. But she had to. She couldn’t hold back anymore; most of it was already out anyway.

“So I have these dreams, but they’re not dreams, they’re different. In regular dreams, everything is soft and out of focus and feels fake, but in these dreams, everything feels real, it’s like they’re memories. But they’re not my memories because everything is different. It’s like I get to see into a different universe where he’s still alive and she never left and I have friends and I’m happy. It’s like if everything that ever went wrong in our lives suddenly went right and we got to live the way we were supposed to.” Parker quickly swung her legs off the couch, landing with a soft thud on the ground before standing up and beginning to pace around the room. She finally met her father’s eyes and was met with a pitying gaze.

“And I know, you probably think that this is crazy,” she began before looking away from his gaze, “that it’s just a coping mechanism my subconscious made up to deal with all the shit that’s happened in my life but I know it’s not. Because those friends who I have in this other world, they’re real people. They exist here too. I learned their names and I looked them up on the internet and they’re real people who I have never met. If I’m making this all up, how are they real? How do they exist? How do I know so much about them that’s real here too?”

She stopped in her tracks to catch her breath again, leaving the multitude of questions hanging in the silence between them. She stood in the center of the room breathing heavily with arms crossed waiting for him to say something.

“Are you done?” he finally said, “You said not to interrupt you until you’re done, so can I talk now?” Parker didn’t trust her voice not to break so she merely nodded.

“Okay. Listen, sweetie, I don’t think you’re crazy. A little riled up, sure, but what you’re saying makes sense.”

“Wait, you believe me?” Parker blurted out, inching her way back towards the couch as he went on.

“Yeah, I believe you.”

“Why?”

“Your aunt was the same way, your mother’s sister, Janine,” He said with a forlorn look on his face, “she had dreams of another world too, she said she could even communicate with the people who lived there.”

Parker was astounded. Why is he just telling me this now? Who is that?

“She worked for an agency that your mother set her up with. I don’t know what the organization  did, but after a while, Janine and your mother fought about it all the time. Then one day, Janine went wouldn’t answer her phone, your mother thought it was because of all of the fighting they did. But then her body turned up and your mother was torn apart. This was about a year before you were born.”

“Is that why mom never liked me?”

“Parker, your mother loved you, you have to understand that. But maybe she knew that you were like Janine in some way and wanted to distance herself from that pain. I’m not excusing her, please don’t think I am, but I’m just trying to explain.”

“So you’ve thought about this before,” Parker yelled angrily, “you’ve thought about why my own mother couldn’t stand me and you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I was trying to protect you! I could say the same things about you and your dreams.”

Parker’s brain seemed to be overloaded with information, she couldn’t figure out how to process it all.

“But I wouldn’t, Parker, I would never blame you for not telling me.”

She distanced herself from him again and restarted her nervous pacing.

“Why did you tell me? What changed your mind?”

Parker stopped for a moment, standing facing away from her father. “Normally I can’t take part in the dreams, but this time she talked to me.”

“Who did?”

“The other Parker.”

“What did she say?”

“She said I’m being hunted, and that I need to find help.”

Start | Next Chapter

[crackedmirrorseries-blog]

Chapter 2

Parker can’t remember a time when she didn’t dream.

Let’s rephrase that, she can’t remember a time before her dreams gave her insight into a parallel universe. It wasn’t until she was 12 that she realized her dreams weren’t normal; that they were too clear. It wasn’t until she was 15 that she even decided to look into the phenomena she was experiencing,  and came up empty handed. It’s not like there’s a guidebook on interdimensional cerebral communication in dreams, and if there were, she certainly wouldn’t have believed that’s what was happening to her, at least not back then.

She can’t remember the first time she saw Parker II’s world, but she remembers the first time she saw it after Emmet died. Typically, in her dreams she would be doing normal, everyday things with Emmet and her family. Sometimes they all ate breakfast together, sometimes they all went to the moves, and sometimes they had family game night. But this dream was different.

Parker had not wanted to fall asleep since her brother had died earlier that day, but eventually emotional and physical exhaustion took over. The dream started out nice; Parker and Emmet were walking home from school discussing the merits of being the Hulk over being Captain America. It was reminiscent of conversations and arguments they used to have in real life, so it soothed Parker for a bit. But when they got home, the argument turned heated.

Somewhere along the way it had morphed from a light-hearted conversation about superheroes into a full-fledged argument about the kids at school. Emmet had recently started hanging out with some of the cool kids who did dangerous stuff, things that might end up getting him killed. It seemed to be the same in Parker II’s world as well, but Emmet was not backing down.

“You’re just saying that they’re dangerous because you’re jealous that you don’t have any friends!” Emmet screamed in her face as they walked through the front door.

“You know that’s not true! It’s because James and Jack are dangerous and like to get into trouble that isn’t needed.”

“Whatever, why does it matter what you think?!”

As Emmet stormed away, Parker’s mind began racing as her body slumped down onto the couch. Go after him! He can’t be friends with them! Please! DO SOMETHING! Don’t give up or you’ll never see him again. Parker, GO! Please, please, please, please, please…

Parker isn’t sure how long she sat slumped onto the couch but quietly Emmet tiptoed his way down the stairs and sat next to her. It was silent for a moment before he spoke, “Listen, I didn’t mean what I said earlier, about you being jealous. I know it’s been… hard on you since we moved here, but you’re an awesome person, Parker. You’ll find your place; it’s only been three weeks.”

Parker quickly found herself wrapped up in a hug from her younger brother, but her mind continued to race. He came back. He didn’t leave. He didn’t die. Why can’t this be real?

“Thanks, Emmet. But in all seriousness, those guys are bad news, I heard one of them the other day talking about how they had set someone’s house on fire as a prank. Please, be careful.” Parker drew him in for another hug and squeezes her eyes shut. When she opened them, she was in her own room with a pounding headache and a drained body, not the sunlight front room hugging her brother

It was a dream. It had all felt so real. Parker immediately felt tears run down her face. Instead of Emmet’s twig arms wrapped around her, she felt her own clutching at her sides as she gasped for breath.

After Emmet’s death, her whole family went to therapy for a while. Her mother was too despondent and wouldn’t speak or acknowledge the counselor they talked to. Her father tried his best, but he was never one who had an easy time expressing emotion. But Parker lived with two worlds in her brain; one where Emmet was alive, and one where he wasn’t. Every morning she was forced to face the reality of her situation, she would never get to see Emmet again while she was awake. Her therapist urged her to let go of Emmet, to find a healthy coping mechanism for his passing. How am I supposed to do that when I still see him all the time? They didn’t stay in therapy for long.

When Parker woke up after she learned Salma’s name, she was brought back to her dream about Emmet. Instead the of sadness and terror she felt back then, she was curious and confused, but the base thought stayed the same: I will never forget this.

When her Dad walked by her room as he headed towards the kitchen, he saw her sprawled out on her bed with her hands pressed to her eyes. “Hey kiddo, you think you’re going to school today?”

Parker took stock of her emotions before answering, “Yeah, Dad. It wasn’t him, it was just a weird dream.”

Therapy was good for one thing at least; Parker’s Dad knew that she frequently had dreams about Emmet. They never said Emmet’s name to each other, except for on the anniversary of his death. There were too many emotions that spiked when they thought about him concretely, so they tended to steer clear of the topic. But he understood and respected that she would need more mental health days than most kids her age.

“Alright, if you hurry it up a bit I can drop you off on my way to the Station.” That’s another big difference between her world and the other world. In this world, after Emmet’s death, her father found his purpose in being a police officer and was eventually elected sheriff. In the other world, since Emmet was still alive, her father remained at his old job as a math teacher at the high school.

“Ok, I’ll be ready in a bit.”

Parker was dreading the rest of the day. She had to sit through all her classes knowing what Salma’s lips felt like against her own. Thinking about what Salma’s hair felt like cascading down her back in a neat ponytail. Remembering the broken feeling that permeated her body as she clutched onto the other girl. She had to make it through a day of AP Biology, AP English, AP Psychology, AP Calculus, Economics, and Spanish knowing she won’t be able to pay full attention, if any at all.

She dragged herself out of bed and quickly got ready for the day. The ride to school with her dad was quiet as they enjoyed the moment together before both of their days got too hectic. Parker closed her eyes for a moment to psych herself up for the day but as soon as she did she saw flashed of the dream: lips on lips, hands in hair, arms wrapped around her. Her eyes flew open and a soft blush crept to her cheeks as she sat up straight in her seat.

“You sure you’re okay today, kiddo? You’re looking a little red and flu season is just around the corner. Someone’s gotta be the first one to get sick.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, dad. I’m just tired is all.”

Once Parker finally arrived to school, things seemed to settle down. Although she thought her mind would be preoccupied the whole day with memories of the dream, she found school to actually be distracting her. Midterms were in a couple weeks and her AP classes were really pushing her to pay attention and study more, which today was a blessing.

At lunch, Parker finally got a break from a constant barrage of information and her mind began to wander again. This time, instead of concentrating on the kiss and the physical aspects she had experienced, she tried to reason out what spurred this moment. It wasn’t as if she had been having visions of different things, nothing was out of the ordinary. So, for Parker II to show such raw panic and sadness was something she needed to figure out.

She started with when the dream had turned into a memory. Usually, the transition was very clear cut, but this time it seemed that she phased into the memory as Parker was sitting on the bed. On very rare occasions, Parker could feel Parker II’s emotions bleeding over into her mind but the emotions didn’t help her narrow down the cause.

Obviously, she’s upset about something to do with Salma, which is weird. It wouldn’t be my parents having an issue with it but maybe her parents? Or maybe it was something to do with Dirk since he hasn’t been in my dreams in a couple nights. Maybe it was the kids at school? Or the people from in town? Or maybe-

Her thoughts ran in never ending circles for the rest of lunch, not clearing up any of her confusion. The rest of the day was an easier course load and Parker found her mind drifting back to when Salma had first walked into the room. She had walked in and hadn’t made eye contact until she had fully shut the door. She also was hesitant to move too close until Parker had stepped forward and met her halfway. These points brought about even more cognitive circles to run in.

Why did she avoid my eyes? Were they fighting? Certainly, not while they were kissing. I don’t think I would ever kiss someone to end a fight. But why was she being so hesitant? Why would she kiss me back if she didn’t want to? Why-

By the end of the school day, Parker just wanted to get to sleep, eager to get back to the other world. After she walked home and finished her homework, she decided to take a quick nap. It wasn’t always certain she would dream is she napped, but it did happen sometimes. She wanted get all the chances she could to see into the other world. She texted her dad to let him know if she didn’t respond when he came home it was because she was napping.

She cozied down in her bed and was drifting off, eager to get new information about Salma, maybe even figure out her last name. It took a bit for her to fall asleep and once she did, she was in a normal dream. It was dark and she seemed to be in a forest walking around looking up to catch a glimpse of the sky between the trees. She kept wandering and eventually came upon a thicket where the trees were getting closer and closer together. When she turned around to head a different way, all the trees were slowly but surely moving closer to her. She watched them move in by inch with no escape, until all her vision was blacked out.

She found herself moving and walking in the darkness. Instead of the pressure of trees she thought would be surrounding her, she was met with no physical resistance. She was walking, and then she was jogging, and then she was running; the only sound to accompany her was her own breath. She paused for a moment, spinning around trying to right herself in some sort of direction when she heard a faint noise from behind her. When she turned around there was a smattering of light off in the distance. Parker ran as hard as she could and was eventually close enough to almost touch the light. She blinked for a second and when she opened her eyes, she was in the bathroom staring at her own reflection, at Parker II′s reflection.

She wasn’t able to control the motions in her memories, but it didn’t stop her from trying. For what felt like hours, she observed Parker II’s eyes staring into her reflection which a confused look on her face. Everything seemed to have stopped for her, but Parker could hear the faint rushing of water. Just when Parker thought she might just wake up once she runs out of time, her mouth opened.

“I know you’re in there and we haven’t got much time, but there is something you need to know.”

Who is she talking to. Why is someone else in the bathroom?

“No one else is here, it’s just us.”

Wait, you can hear me?

“Yes but that’s not what’s important right now.”

Uhh, it’s pretty important, dude.

“Can we just move on for a second?”

Yeah, I guess. I mean, I can’t control you, so do whatever.

“You need to be careful Parker; you need to watch out for yourself when you wake up.”

Why?

“I can’t explain much right now since we’re almost out of time, but you need to know that you’re special, but you’re not alone. They’re hunting you, but they only know about you. With Salma and Dirk, you’re stronger. You always work better as a team.”

Work better towards what?

“Towards dreaming.”

With that, the lights in the bathroom flickered out and Parker was thrown into the darkness. When she woke up a couple of second later, she ran over to her desk to write down everything she remembered from the dream while Parker II’s words bounced around in her head.

“They’re hunting you.”

Start | Next Chapter

[crackedmirrorseries-blog]

Chapter 1

It’s not unusual for Parker Troy to have dreamless nights; in fact, it’s pretty typical. She’ll wake in the morning feeling well rested and better off than before. But there are nights when she does dream. These are the nights that rip her apart from the inside and cause her to wake disoriented. When Parker dreams, she’s thrown into what she calls the other world.

Imagine the multiverse theory is true and somehow you can connect with a different universe- that’s what Parker thinks is happening to her. In some universe, in a parallel place, she is awake and sending images back to this universe where she is asleep. They’re less like dreams, and more like memories, more like a coexistence in someone else’s brain. She knows this other girl is her doppelganger, though. She once saw herself in the mirror, but instead of her usual long red hair, she had a short bob that came just past her chin. The other her still had freckles, blue eyes, and the scar above her lip from an accident when she was 4.

It’s odd to see how her life could have been different. How Parker II’s life is full of joy and happiness and friendship while her only real escape from the world is living through someone else’s memories while she sleeps. She often wonders what’s worse: wishing for a life you know is unattainable, or wishing for a life you know could have been reality, if only things were slightly different.

It takes a while but slowly, Parker sees the differences between her world and the other world. In her own world, Parker had a younger brother, Emmet, who had died. In the other world, Emmet was still alive, thriving as a sophomore in high school. Those glimpses were always the worst, and the most confusing. It’s hard to tell sometimes what is a real memory, and what is a memory from the other Parker. But there are many times she wakes from what is certainly not her own memory and can’t bring herself to get out of bed. Her Dad never blames her; he just takes one look and understands she needs time.

That’s another difference she’s seen; her parents. Parker has lived with her parents since she was born, but her mother had often been absent from the house. Parker remembers when she was two years old and Emmet was born she had been so jealous of all the attention he was getting. It wasn’t just that he was shiny and new, but her mother was actually there in the house, but wasn’t spending time with her. It didn’t last long and her mother was quickly on to bigger and better things, but Emmet was always her favorite. When Emmet died, so did her mother.

She remembers reading The Hunger Games in English class and having to leave because of how much of her own mother she saw reflected in Katniss’s mother. After Emmet died, Parker’s mom hadn’t said a word. For three months, she sat around the house, going through the motions until one night, she disappeared and left a note. All the note said was “don’t look for me.” No “I love you” or “I’m sorry” or any semblance of emotion, just “don’t look for me.”

In the other world, Emmet was alive, her mother was always around as well as her father. It was like a dream come true.  Parker hoped that while she was watching Parker II, Parker II could see into her world and understand how important it is to hold on to Emmet.

The memories were a funny thing, because not a lot of them were different. There was the family situation and all the horrors that went along with that, but the world itself seemed to function the same exact way. Parker II was happy, something the regular Parker hadn’t felt in some time. A large portion of that happiness come from her friends. They were the most common characters in the memories, but Parker still didn’t know much about them.

The time she heard one of their names was when it was said by the girl. They seemed to be on a picnic in the park by Parker’s house, it looked exactly the same as it did in the real world. It was just the three of them, Parker, the boy with shiny bronze hair and a smattering of moles across his face, and the girl with a laugh like sunlight and eyes that glistened in the reflecting sun.

They were sitting chatting when the girl turned to the boy and said “Dirk Walsh, your hair is getting more and more out of hand,” before reaching over and tucking a lock behind his ear. Her stomach lurched as she watched the shy smiles between the two of them.

Why do I care? she thought to herself as the girl continued to run her hands through his hair. Soon, she moved on to poking at the moles up and down his arm, always staying in contact with him. Parker could feel her face burning out of jealousy. Why do I wish that was me? I don’t even know either of them.

Pretty soon, they all laid on their backs on the blanket they were sitting on, talking about unimportant details and laughing in-between. The laughter that followed chased Parker into the darkness as her body began to wake up.

Once she had returned to reality, her phone vibrating under her pillow, telling her it was time to get up, she had all but forgotten about the dream. As usual, she took her time getting up and out of bed to get ready for the day. It wasn’t until halfway through the school day until she remembered.

At school, Parker was somewhat of an outcast. She was a senior but hadn’t made too many friends throughout her time at school; having your brother die when you are a freshman seems to make you less friendly. It wasn’t until she was at lunch and heard a table near hers burst out into a fit of laughter that she remembered.

At the first sign of laughter, choked on the water she was drinking as she was thrown back into the sunny patch of grass. She took a minute to gather herself and stop the spluttering before quietly whispering, “Dirk Walsh” to herself. Parker’s first thought was to take out her cell phone to see if she could find his doppelganger in the real world, but unfortunately, school had a strict no cell phone policy.

The rest of the say she was buzzing with energy and excitement. This was the first time she has discovered something from the other world that didn’t make her sad but rather intrigued. After school was out, she calmed herself enough to drive herself home and pull out her laptop to get to work.

She typed the name “Derk Walsh” into the search bar of Google and waited, but nothing popped up. It took her several more spelling attempts, and even more Facebook scrolling to find him.

“Dirk Walsh,” she read out loud to herself, “lives in Huntington Massachusetts, and is currently a senior in high school.” She clicked through his pictures, and grew more and more disheartened as she realized, he’s a real person, i have no reason to contact him or ever meet him.

She closed her laptop and went about the rest of her day, itching to get to sleep to see if she could gain any more insight into the life she craved so much.

Is there a way to vicariously live through yourself? she asked herself as she climbed into bed and set the alarm on her phone. Probably, but that’s a problem for another time.

It was never instantaneous, the process of observing a memory. Sometimes, it started off as a weird dream that morphed into a memory, but it was easy to tell the difference between “weird, sugar induced dream” and “temporal connection between universe memory.” Dreams were always soft and fuzzy, sort of out of focus,  while memories were sharp and clear like something in high definition.

This time, Parker started off by dreaming. The dream itself wasn’t memorable, she was at home and was making herself breakfast when she ran upstairs to grab her phone since she had forgotten it. When she opened her door, she knew she was in a memory. The colors shifted from the muted, washed-out colors to the intense vibrancy of a memory.

It wasn’t anything unusual, Parker went and sat down on her bed and seemed to be waiting for something. Why am I just sitting here? After about a minute, the door opened and the girl walked in. Her hair was pulled into a sleek ponytail behind her head and she didn’t meet Parker’s eyes until she quietly closed the door behind her.

Parker watched as she took careful steps towards her and stood up to meet her halfway. Suddenly, deep brown eyes and immaculate eyebrows were all she could see as the breathed the same air for a moment.

Although memories are sharper and clearer, Parker still wasn’t sure who moved first. She couldn’t see anymore but she could feel. She felt the fuzziness of the girl’s sweater under her hand as it rested on her shoulder. She felt the small breeze from the ceiling fan against her cheek. She felt the gentle touch of shaky fingers against her cheek. She felt the softness of lips pressed against her own.

Oh.

They were moving in sync, in a connection that only comes with time and patience.

This isn’t the first time they’ve kissed.

Their movements morphed from a chaste kiss into something more powerful, more meaningful. Parker felt like she was going to cry. The pure emotion involved in one, simple kiss, was more than she could handle.

I want to wake up now.

They finally broke apart, resting their foreheads together for a moment before pulling back to look each other in the eyes. Their arms were wrapped around each other’s bodies, holding in a tight embrace as Parker felt herself sigh.

She heard herself whisper something with such reverence and emotion, she was pushed almost over the edge. The word itself was simple, but it carried so much raw power in the way her voice cracked and the way her body seemed to be trembling, as if she couldn’t get it out. She had to draw a breath before and after she said it, shifting in the girl’s embrace.

“Salma,” she had whispered as she clutched tightly to the other girl’s waist and shoulders and squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the rest of the world.

Salma, Parker repeated to herself. What a simple name for the girl who seemed to be so much to her in this world. She opened her eyes and seemed to be quickly engulfed by Salma’s deep brown eyes. She held eye contact as she leaned back in but the leaning never stopped. Parker’s whole world was quickly surrounded by deep tones of brown and black as she was thrown into the abyss between awake and asleep.

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