coyotegard

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i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i'm like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can't extract them.

so i go in for that and i'm sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says "so you've been coming here for a while right?" and i am like "oh yeah since i was a little kid" and she replies "yeah, i thought so, there's one note on your file and it's 'patient likes dinosaurs and bugs'"

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my brother works on a boat so when he rants about his job I can’t take it seriously because he keeps angrily referring to his boss as “captain”. like sorry ur having 19th century sailor problems my guy

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i said it was my favorite piece of media that i’ve hyperfixated on since the tender age of 12 and have not let go of since. i didnt say it was a Good piece of media

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nothing specific

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Isnt it weird that hotel rooms provide toilet paper, tissues, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and ive even seen some provide make removal wipes, but I’ve never seen a single one provide pads or tampons?

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mice are having sex in my walls :(

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hurdy gurdying or gurdly hurdying? 🤨

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blunt rotation

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Saga & I are losing our minds recreating a photo we found of them in our elementary school christmas pageant where they looked like this:

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just got jumpscared at work today

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ok yeah, this is all about the color, waht's goin on here how's he like that

pretty spiffy

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not gonna lie, when i saw that a cybertruck had exploded i legit didn't realize it was some sort of premeditated thing, i just thought it was just another extreme flaw in it's design. i had no idea fireworks were involved, i honest to god thought it just did that on its own

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Love Wicked (2024) cuz it’s peak “my god these bitches gay. Good for them” and also peak “the love was there. It didn’t change anything but it matters that it was there” and it’s even got Michelle Yeoh like what else do you need from a movie

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umm awesome ad i just got wtf

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Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?