courtjester - Tumblr blog

[courtjester]

I cannot understand why anyone would want to fuck a Pokémon when the Pokémon world is canonically bountiful with hot empty-nest moms whose husbands are absent or nonexistent

[courtjester]

[courtjester]

[courtjester]

Little Nas Are You Working On Your Raps

[courtjester]

I was walking on a rather remote beach when I came upon this Whip eel drying up in the sun. These are intertidal eels that can actually handle themselves out of water for a bit, but it’s not normal for them to be fully exposed in direct sunlight like this. The tide was at least six hours from coming in and I felt like this eel was in distress, so I made the decision to dig him out and return to the ocean. His body was too delicate to be simply pulled from the hole without injury, so I got to digging.

This endeavor took about 40 minutes as the eel was quite long and difficult to excavate. Also had to continually refill my temporary eel pond to keep him from drying out entirely while I worked.

If you are an eel aficionado like myself, please enjoy this silly little video of the relocation process set to some jaunty royalty-free disco music.

[courtjester]

fucking that twink in positions we dont even have names for

[courtjester]

this one is my favorite clickhole quote

[courtjester]

holy shit

[courtjester]

starting a collection

[courtjester]

[courtjester]

A school bully who keeps up with intercommunity issues so that he always uses the most non-problematic terminology to insult you with

[courtjester]

The cheap sample image for these glow in the dark googly eyes is so funny out of context

(please do not stick swallowable googly eyes on anything for babies by the way)

[courtjester]

[courtjester]

Just saw an ad for fucking Kellog's cornflakes wherein a shirtless blindfolded man tied to a bed is like "Wait.. are you... eating??" and it pans across the bed to reveal that his partner is, indeed, too distracted to have sex with him bc she is chowing down on corn flakes. Now I've been caught up in wondering whether:

a) John Harvey Kellog would despise this ad; the mere proximity of bondage-play to his brand name and beloved anti-porn flakes is unforgivable

b) John Harvey Kellog would enjoy this ad, because it shows a young woman forsaking the temptations of the flesh in favour of eating a wholesome and nourishing bowl of cornflakes

[courtjester]

down with found family. UP with FOUND DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[courtjester]

i'm full of love but i also have the hater's curse and once a day i gotta say some bitchy shit or i'll explode

[courtjester]

It's wild Israelis are like "IRANS ATTACKS FAILED! NO ONE DIED!" all over twitter, it shows a fundemental misunderstanding of non criminal warfare where you're supposed to AVOID civilians and target military infrastructure instead

like your average Israeli thinks warfare is just about who can kill the most people??? Absolutely barbaric

PS the iranian attacks DIDN'T fail, they took out the main airport used to ferry US bombs to Israel without killing a single person. THAT is precision targeting.