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You know, I'm starting to think my struggle with productivity is not the worst part of ADHD.

Like, I mean, that's the part everyone talks about, right? It's the most famous part of ADHD--you can't sit down and do the boring, non-stimulating, dopamine deprived work. Your brain wants to do anything, anything else.

But, at least for me, that doesn't just apply to work. It applies to play.

I can doomscroll twitter and tumblr with the best of them, sure. I can read tvtropes, and check discord a million times an hour and google random crap, but when it comes to actually like, playing a video game? Reading a book? Watching a movie? It's just.

So.

Freaking.

Hard.

And even when I start playing, even when I'm enjoying a game, I'm constantly fighting the urge to go and do something else. To check my phone, to go and search something up, and, most dangerously of all, to start mucking around with the graphics settings. I can't ever get absorbed into a game, can't shift my brain from "jumbled mess" into "immersed" and--

The thing is.

That means I can't rest.

I can't break the endless buzz in the back of my head, I can't ever really stop thinking and inhabit this escapist fantasy. I can't stop investing energy into my buzzy brain, and so--

Like.

I don't have a recourse to burn out.

ADHD burn-out is probably the second most talked about part of ADHD, but I think this is a big factor that people don't talk about as much, or at least not in these terms. It's not just that you can't get stuff done and keep worrying about it, it's that you can't rest.

You can't treat the burn out.

And so it just. Piles up.

And up.

And up.

Until you collapse.

[countingsheepdatingseraphim]

You know, I'm starting to think my struggle with productivity is not the worst part of ADHD.

Like, I mean, that's the part everyone talks about, right? It's the most famous part of ADHD--you can't sit down and do the boring, non-stimulating, dopamine deprived work. Your brain wants to do anything, anything else.

But, at least for me, that doesn't just apply to work. It applies to play.

I can doomscroll twitter and tumblr with the best of them, sure. I can read tvtropes, and check discord a million times an hour and google random crap, but when it comes to actually like, playing a video game? Reading a book? Watching a movie? It's just.

So.

Freaking.

Hard.

And even when I start playing, even when I'm enjoying a game, I'm constantly fighting the urge to go and do something else. To check my phone, to go and search something up, and, most dangerously of all, to start mucking around with the graphics settings. I can't ever get absorbed into a game, can't shift my brain from "jumbled mess" into "immersed" and--

The thing is.

That means I can't rest.

I can't break the endless buzz in the back of my head, I can't ever really stop thinking and inhabit this escapist fantasy. I can't stop investing energy into my buzzy brain, and so--

Like.

I don't have a recourse to burn out.

ADHD burn-out is probably the second most talked about part of ADHD, but I think this is a big factor that people don't talk about as much, or at least not in these terms. It's not just that you can't get stuff done and keep worrying about it, it's that you can't rest.

You can't treat the burn out.

And so it just. Piles up.

And up.

And up.

Until you collapse.

[countingsheepdatingseraphim]

You know, I'm starting to think my struggle with productivity is not the worst part of ADHD.

Like, I mean, that's the part everyone talks about, right? It's the most famous part of ADHD--you can't sit down and do the boring, non-stimulating, dopamine deprived work. Your brain wants to do anything, anything else.

But, at least for me, that doesn't just apply to work. It applies to play.

I can doomscroll twitter and tumblr with the best of them, sure. I can read tvtropes, and check discord a million times an hour and google random crap, but when it comes to actually like, playing a video game? Reading a book? Watching a movie? It's just.

So.

Freaking.

Hard.

And even when I start playing, even when I'm enjoying a game, I'm constantly fighting the urge to go and do something else. To check my phone, to go and search something up, and, most dangerously of all, to start mucking around with the graphics settings. I can't ever get absorbed into a game, can't shift my brain from "jumbled mess" into "immersed" and--

The thing is.

That means I can't rest.

I can't break the endless buzz in the back of my head, I can't ever really stop thinking and inhabit this escapist fantasy. I can't stop investing energy into my buzzy brain, and so--

Like.

I don't have a recourse to burn out.

ADHD burn-out is probably the second most talked about part of ADHD, but I think this is a big factor that people don't talk about as much, or at least not in these terms. It's not just that you can't get stuff done and keep worrying about it, it's that you can't rest.

You can't treat the burn out.

And so it just. Piles up.

And up.

And up.

Until you collapse.

[countingsheepdatingseraphim]

Shout out to the guy in the room I can see across the river from my apartment who I can see playing an olympics game using a wii driving wheel

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Lady Macbeth

Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.

Begin.

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Do not give your hopes over to Death, for he has no future for them. And if you have no hopes, then as much as it hurts do not die, because then you’ll remain as you are forever. Things change. A smile at a stranger may postpone Death, and in time, a laugh will make his arrival bittersweet not because of the life you could have lived, but because of the lives you have lived through on the way. Please live.

graves grow no green that you can use.

gwendolyn brooks

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CREATURE????

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this website pisses me off, everyones always like “space is so cool!” not its not, space is bullshit and i hate everything about it, i genuinely just saw the phrase “a black hole with a mass two billion times the mass of the sun” im so pissed off, shut the fuck up, dont patronise me scientists you know i dont know what the fuck that means, my sad little brain cant comprehend the mass of one sun let alone two fucking billion, i cant even count past 10 without getting confused and youre out here talking about the mass of two billion fucking suns, shut the hell up. and dont even get me started about black holes or the expansion of the universe because thats another two seperate rants entierly. oh and apparently theres a planet made of ice except the ice is also on fire??? yeah sure fucking thing, scientists. and this is just the shit i know about. i purposely dont research space because it pisses me off so much, god knows what other fucking bullshit exists out there that ive yet to read a fucking wikipedia article about. i dont think space is real, literally everything about space is so fucking fake, this is just some elaborate fucking practicle joke. two billion times the mass of the sun, fuck you

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70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

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People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.

An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.

Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.

It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…

It’s an ant again.

Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.

This is madness.

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Ren - riopy - i love you

RenMakesStuff

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Ren - riopy - i love you

RenMakesStuff

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We should really talk about Ren more