cosmicwindmillcomplex

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

I know they say normal is overrated, but what I would give to be normal for just one day. No chronic pain, no traumatic flashbacks at seemingly normal moments. I wonder what that’d be like…

-Ash

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

i think they should add pvp to DID. i should be able to fistfight my headmates

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

having DID with a disability is basically

System: hey we have a disability. This means we should take it easy and listen to our body's limits! We'll feel better if we take care of ourselves. If we push it too much it can have a lot of consequences. :)

Alter that holds internalized abelism: this doesn't apply to me actually and also you're wrong

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

Plural culture is sometimes I feel about singlets what people seem to feel about people without an internal monologue

Because like

What's going on up there if not this?? Silence???

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

Dude ,, when you have a forgetting disorder and you don’t want them to think you don’t care but you also don’t want to lie about why you didn’t know smth

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

i CANNOT emphasize enough how much my characters are NOT COOPERATING. like HELLO?? YOU LIVE IN MY HEAD?? I MAKE THE RULES??? ajsdklfjskdfjsldk

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

"Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves."

“The Body Keeps The Score” by Bessel van der Kolk

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

Well that's one way to do it

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

Marina Tsvetaeva, from a diary entry featured in Earthly Signs Moscow Diaries, 1917-1922

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

And then there Are the songs I cannot listen to Without Hearing You.

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

i hate chronic pain. pain makes me angry, it makes me bitter, it makes me irritable. i’m not fun to be around because i lose my temper so quickly because im constantly in so much pain. i miss not being in pain, i miss not being angry.

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

Who up wanting to slam their head through the wall

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

I was thinking about blackout amnesia and switching the other day, and about how, for us, it’s not like “I close my eyes while laying on the couch, and I open my eyes and I’m in bed��, but more like “I suddenly realize that I’m in bed but I don’t remember ever having gotten out of the couch.” And it can be a delayed realization.

Just as an alter switching in can realize belatedly that they’re fronting. Instead of immediately being like “oh, I switched in, I’m *blank*, I’m fronting now”, an alter may have fronted for a while, and randomly go, “oh wait, I’m *blank*! How long have I been fronting?”

I don’t know how common that is, but I figured I’d mention it.

[cosmicwindmillcomplex]

you deserve good things even after you mess up. read it again if you have to.