cosmichorroryadira

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Ahahahahaaaaaa your brain ever forget the complete existence of an entire month???? Mine did! I totally forgot about March, I kept thinking awesome con was next weekend and I’m like dang my money is gonna be tight for a bit. It is but not as tight as I thought. Ahahaha oh man I really should work on my projects… I mean I did a little bit, but not as much as I’d like to have. I got VERY immersed in the expert story telling in Red Dead Redemption 2. I made it to the first ending of the story and I was devastated to see (spoilers for RD2) my horse, my first horse that I used the entire game, Richard died in game and had a perma death much like Arthur did not long after. Richard will be missed in my gameplay. But being able to play my game has done wonders for my mental health and I feel sooooo much better than I did when I started my blog. Anyways, I’ll continue to post as often as I remember to! Catch y’all later!

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So I’ve been recovering from being sick all week and instead of writing I’ve been playing Red Dead Redemption 2. It got me thinking too, about mortality. Spoilers if you haven’t played and plan on playing it even though this game came out years ago. The character you play as, Arthur Morgan, is absolutely going to die before the game is over. There is an actual honor system and the better of a person you are the more honor you got. This means you get rewarded more for being a better person. And it got me thinking… the part of the game I’m in right now Arthur has been formally diagnosed with tuberculosis, a death sentence in the time period where the game takes place. I’ve always strived to be nice in this game but now that I know Arthur is gonna die I’m doing my best to be even better behaved. Who am I doing that for? Am I doing it for the side characters I’ve enjoyed? For me? For Arthur? I have no clue, but I do like the idea of having done any semblance of good even if I may never make anywhere near that impression in real life, anyways I’m off to do more cowboy stuff. Y’all have a good day now.

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Ughhhhhh you know what’s not great after going to a con? That feeling sick feeling along with the constipation and dehydration and exhaustion. You know what’s annoying? Not having gone to a con and hugging your partner that did go and you get sick and their fine. So I had to call out yesterday but some good news since he got home. We are finally moving in together and if I’m lucky I get a shared office and I’ll be waking up next to him every morning hopefully this will be good for my mental health and even my writing. I’m so excited for what’s to come and hopefully you’ll get a post of my new office once I’m set up! For now here’s the present my paramour got me for Valentine’s Day, it’s a mime gator!

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Happy Valentine’s Day all! In spite of the fact that I have a partner I somehow how always end up crying myself to sleep on Valentine’s Day. It’s just never a good day for me, who knows why. But this year my paramour and I won’t be together, he’s going to an anime con and I always encourage them doing things outside of us. I would have loved some traditional romance but I am used to my plans never happening or working out the way I would have wanted. But on this day of love I will leave you with words from the man that became the reason I did not shed my mortal coil when I was 12 please enjoy the poem “A Valentine” from Mr. Edgar Allan Poe.

For her this rhyme is penned, whose luminous eyes,

Brightly expressive as the twins of Loeda,

Shall find her own sweet name, that, nestling lies

Upon the page, enwrapped from every reader.

Search narrowly the lines!—they hold a treasure

Divine—a talisman—an amulet

That must be worn at heart. Search well the measure—

The words—the syllables! Do not forget

The trivialest point, or you may lose your labor!

And yet there is in this no Gordian knot

Which one might not undo without a sabre,

If one could merely comprehend the plot.

Enwritten upon the leaf where now are peering

Eyes scintillating soul, there lie perdus

Three eloquent words oft uttered in the hearing

Of poets, by poets—as the name is a poet’s, too.

Its letters, although naturally lying

Like the knight Pinto—Mendez Ferdinando—

Still form a synonym for Truth—Cease trying!

You will not read the riddle, though you do the best you can do.

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I FUCKING HATE DOING TAXES >:0 !!!! This is the “tax” industry’s fault. If it weren’t for turbo tax and H&R Block we wouldn’t even have a “tax season” we’d just get our tax return in the mail or a bill for owed taxes. We wouldn’t even see a tax form cause of those dick heads. WHY CANT WE BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS! Also don’t forget to file this year, not doing taxes was how they got Al Capone and he evaded so much in taxes they had enough justification to send him to Alcatraz.

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Heh… last time I took a break after a writing contest it lasted a few months. It wasn’t cause I didn’t have any ideas it was cause I demoralized myself sooooooooooooo much that I was about to give up. But then @christinareadsthings wouldn’t leave me alone with my writing…. Get you a friend that pesters you to the point where you write again out of spite. I will do some world building soon though so no worries on that front but I will be angry and tired the whole time…. Not cause nobody said anything but because I wanna take a nap instead.

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I did it…. I submitted my short story…. My god was that fucking stressful. I fucking did it with some help from @christinareadsthings in terms of editing I got it submitted with an hour to spare at the deadline. Now to wait a while for it to be read/judged and see if I advance or if like the years before get that “we like the story but you aren’t advancing” emails. I like those not the winner emails though. They always have fantastic feed back. But my god was doing all that stressful. What didn’t help was the random emotional break down I had for a few hours yesterday. But I got through it with help from my partner (I love them) I got to finishing it once I was more calm.

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Ha! Writer? I hardly know her. :D

In all seriousness work has been exhausting this week so I have been procrastinating so that means when I get home tomorrow I have to take a nap to pull an all nighter cause I haven’t had the energy to work on any drafts for the short story I’m writing that I have a deadline for. But the late night hours are great inspiration for horror. Wish me luck, cause I am one dumb little fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

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always watching 👁️🦋

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*In a Matthew McConaughey voice* haaaa you know what I been doing since before it was cool? Entering writing contests I got no business entering cause I’m woefully underprepared and always procrastinate. But hey, that’s okay, I do it for the experience. That’s what it feels like to drive a Lincoln, alright alright.

But in all realness I’ve entered a writing contest and I’ve got my prompt and I thought it was great for me but then… WRITERS BLOCK. And I’m back to saying to myself I have no talent and I’m in waaaay over my head. And I really do feel that way right now but what keeps me going is… the fact I paid and entry fee so here I go and wish me luck.

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Sometimes I think… I don’t think I’m non-binary enough… but then I remembered something that makes me feel secure in my identity and warms my soul when I think about it.

Older Brother: look I’m just saying that females….

Me: Women don’t like it when you refer to them as females, it’s kinda dehumanizing.

Older brother: How do you know if women like it or not?

Me(assigned female at birth and previously went by she/her pronouns): Umm I just do?

Older brother: How would you know? (Him referring to my gender identity)

Me (a non-binary person): because I-

Older Brother: *him giving me a “your non-binary with they/them pronouns not woman with she/her pronouns” smirk*

Me: ah I see your point….

Older brother: *kind and accepting smile* :)

Me: *feeling loved and accepted smile* :,)

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Me: *violently beating OC villain* WHY ARE YOU SO HARD TO WRITE!!??? *Shakes them by the collar of their shirt* TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!!!! WHATS YOUR MOTIVATION?!?! *Throws them across the room* WHY ARE YOU BAD?!? *hits them with steel chair* WHY SHOULD THE AUDIENCE HATE YOU?!!??? *RKO slams them* WHY DID YOU COME TO MY MIND WHEN I WAS WORLD BUILDING YOU IRREDEEMABLE BASTARD!!! *slaps them repeatedly* WHY ARE YOU AN IRREDEEMABLE BASTARD?!?! *Breaks their back over the knee Bane style* At least tell me your favorite food, you vile villain…. Why are you vile?

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So… how are y’all handeling the cold today? I can handle it just fine tbh… I’ve stood in cold that bitter to go to work cause well I’m dedicated to the pharmacy that my boss owns. I’m dedicated to making pediatric medicine until I’m able to make a living off my writing and I’ll be dedicated to training a replacement if that day ever comes. I’m not afraid of the cold I guess and sure some folks can’t handle it based on age but if your gonna talk about being tough and big and strong and complain about weak people maybe don’t hide inside? Just a thought that came to mind today. Anyways I made it to work and I’ll be making medicine for children today and hope their insurance covers it while I think of new stories that maybe someday these kids will read.

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Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

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Some images of the snow storm of 2025. Backyard and the family pet cemetery and the survivor not willing to go past the awning. I got to use the snow day off for writing too so that’s a bonus for me.

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🚨 We Need Your Kindness to Survive 🚨

Hello, My name is Mosab Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with my family. Life here has become harder than I ever imagined, and I’m writing this with hope in my heart that you might hear our story.

The ongoing war has devastated my family. We’ve lost 25 family members—each one a beloved part of our lives, taken too soon. I miss them deeply—their laughter, their presence, their love. Every day is a reminder of this unimaginable loss.

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We are now facing daily challenges to survive—things that most people take for granted, like food, clean water, and a safe place to sleep. The harsh realities of life here have replaced our dreams with the constant fight for survival.

Our Current Situation:

💔 Lost Stability: The war has left us without work or a stable source of income. 🍞 Basic Needs: Food and water are becoming harder to afford with rising prices and scarce resources. 📚 Dreams on Hold: Like so many here, my family’s dreams have been replaced by the need to simply survive. 😢 Unimaginable Loss: Losing 25 loved ones has left a void that can never be filled.

How You Can Help:

I’m sharing our story with the hope that someone out there might care. Even $5 can make a big difference for us, and if you’re unable to donate, just reblogging this post can help spread the word.

Your kindness, no matter how small, is something we’ll never forget.

What This Means to Us:

Your support is not about changing our entire situation—it’s about giving us a little relief, a little hope, and a way to keep going. We are not asking for much, and we understand if you can’t donate. Sharing our story is just as valuable to us as a donation.

Thank you for reading this far. It means the world to us to know that someone is listening. Your kindness gives us strength and helps us believe in a better tomorrow.

With all our gratitude, Mosab Elderawi and Family ❤️

✅️ Vetted by ✅️

@gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #309 )✅️

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