corporatetwitteraccount - Tumblr blog

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(twitter)

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No hate because I love The Bear but in real life if my favorite local sub shop turned into a place where you pay $56 for three tortellini and a sea scallop I would be inconsolable.

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[corporatetwitteraccount]

me: oh haha that's crazy, acme is making condoms now? i feel like you buy a lot of stuff from them, they must ship really quickly. hey is there a hole in the wrapper on that one?

my wile e. coyote fictive gf who's been trying to babytrap me for months, struggling to leverage a rope behind her back connected to a system of pulleys which leads to an anvil suspended above the bed: no

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@mtndewloyalist-xix

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I have dodged and parried every javelin thrown at me thus far…just one more and I can marry the chieftain’s daughter! 

Yuntkujeru the Lightning-Armed:

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You do know Cuba is quite literally run by occultists right?

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everything is a transgender allegory except being transgender which is about being alive

[corporatetwitteraccount]

everything is a transgender allegory except being transgender which is about being alive

[corporatetwitteraccount]

everything is a transgender allegory except being transgender which is about being alive

[corporatetwitteraccount]

everything is a transgender allegory except being transgender which is about being alive

[corporatetwitteraccount]

everything is a transgender allegory except being transgender which is about being alive