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WELCOME TO STOAT SATURDAY

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Crash (1996), dir. David Cronenberg

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i've seen folks hc Senshi as brazilian because of the way he looks in the modern aus. do you? :o

Luis Inácio Senshi da Silva canon

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Whatever the result is, I will attempt to recreate it as a drawing!

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because it is a natural insecticide, nicotine feels good to the part of your brain that is still an insect. this is because it makes your insect brain think it is dying, which creates a pleasurable sensation because all bugs are suicidal

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this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this

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*If you were put in a room with Gollum from Lord Of The Rings and told that if you have sex with him there is a 10% chance that this version of Gollum will be your perfect partner (all the traits, money, and emotional intelligence you have ever wanted in a partner) but that there’s a 90% chance that this is just normal canon Gollum and you have to live with that experience for the rest of your life.

For the entirety of the sex he will sound and behave like you would expect canon Gollum to sound and behave (which is, badly). He will reveal to you if he’s the 10% version only after the sex happens, think of it like a fairytale scenario where he’s testing your loyalty.

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Imagine this whole post in the TikTok text to speech voice.

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Devon Michigan AKA Ghost Taco.

Yes, she does make noise by shoving samplers and recorders "up there".

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Alrighty then

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I was a pretty sickly kid. I'm a pretty sickly adult too I guess. But one of the issues I had was constant ear infections. I almost went deaf because I just had near continuous swelling and inflammation going on. I had tubes in my ears twice because they fell out the first time.

If you're unfamiliar that's where they put a tiny gauge in your inner ear to help force it open. It's meant to stop water getting trapped back there. I had to put wax in my ears before contact with pools, baths, showers, anything, for years, to prevent water from slinking through that narrow channel and festering long enough to spawn bacteria.

It was miserable. To this day my inner ear is blighted with so much scar tissue that every single ear exam the doctor goes, "Woah." You never want to hear a doctor say woah. It's never good.

Eventually my constant rounds of antibiotics and misery was pinned on my tonsils. A doctor declared there was just too much ick hiding out in there and they had to go. I was about five or six at the time. Having surgery as a little kid is already pretty scary but I was determined to be brave. I'd already had vacuum suction tools used on my inner ear weekly a practice so painful it's banned now. I was also promised a coveted troll dinosaur for good behavior.

So I walked tremulously into the hospital to have an organ removed. By all accounts I comported myself admirably. Afterward I was coming out of anesthesia quite slowly. The nurse was carrying me back to my parents when I rasped a whispery, "Knock knock," at her.

She paused and looked down at me, "What?"

A little stronger I repeated, "Knock knock."

She was shocked her tiny patient was trying to tell a joke while higher than a kite but dutifully said, "Who's there?"

"Adam," I said in a wavery little voice.

She leaned closer to hear me, "Adam who?"

I bellowed through my raw throat, still freshly bleeding from surgery, "Adam my way, I'm gettin' outta here!"

The nurse had to stop she was laughing so hard and she was in hysterics when she delivered me back to me parents, repeating the whole episode to them, turning their anxiety into delight that their doped up child was a comedy genius.

No one knew where I'd learned the joke, but it was a staple story throughout my childhood.

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This really makes the Studios costing themselves even more money (and getting more unions involved) by prolonging the strike for the promise of free ai labor even more fucking funny. you dumb fucking bastards lol