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when you know he only likes clowns so you spend all day getting your makeup on and he’s grinding his 8.5x7″ shit against your lime green overalls and youre about to drop that circus pussy down on him when he asks if he can be the top in the stephen king roleplay this time

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lets be pointy with mama

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they should invent an evil guy

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The White House bragging about how many different countries have reached out to negotiate in response to the tariffs reminds me of that part of Disco Elysium where you have the option to put a loaded gun in your mouth and threaten to pull the trigger as a negotiating tactic. It is certainly one way to start a conversation!

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"Would you rather use the app? :)" I cannot begin to describe how much I wouldn't

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If u call ur self neurospicy I know 4 sure ur not ass burgers or adhd or whatever anything gay and are instead just have incurable American disease

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not my mom texting me that shes gna kill herself and then u should buy me a baby skunk a few hours apart

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Thinking about how Anakin canonically both touched grass and got laid and was still Like That.

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sometimes i think im doing like perfectly fine handling everything going wrong in my life rn but then i cant find my creamed honey and i scream and scream and cry on the kitchen floor and sob for thirty minutes and i realize perhaps maybe i am slightly affected

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getting really into journaling is so fucked because you will fr end up with pages like "dear diary, it's fucken wimdy today!!!!! also I might be a talentless hack with no real creative drive or discipline to speak of. xoxo ✨"