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real snitch hours if you a narc hit that like

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im very hungover but im getting pizza hut on my walk home from work and im going to curl up in bed and watch always sunny bloopers and im so excited

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songs used to have a bridge and a third chorus

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these are sending me

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this is literally what i think of when seeing 80% of girls/boys memes

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got fired via a text from my boss who i’ve never digitally communicated with and because it was an unknown number sending a mysterious link with no context (turned out to be security camera footage of me taking 1 can of cheap beer) i assumed it was spam and my immediate response was

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those wacky bastards at nintendo always coming out wih new pokeyman

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nobody:

half full water bottle left behind on the floor of a public bus: *rolls around*

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just chilling with 2 of my favorite gray cats ever

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"Christafur, I'm telling you the Jan. 6 rioters are innocent!"

"Adriana for the last time you need to knock that shit off when the fucking feds are already after us!"