controlledapocalypse

[controlledapocalypse]

I turned 29 today and I started it drunk in my kitchen and I intend to end it drunk in my kitchen

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spoilers under the cut:

my only criticism was that this could have been so much better and contained far less dumb headwear had chibnall done the SOLE standard master move he failed to do.

while the master’s raging superiority complex and bitterness over the fact that his life is now also a lie by extension is valid enough, consider how much more horribly conflicted the doctor would be if cybermen weren’t involved and it was just the master, destroying the civilization that exploited them both, the doctor moreso than the master for sure, as one of those terrible presents he likes giving the doctor

i’m just saying

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honestly maybe the master’s just gonna take a vacation now. he’s a mess, i think he needs to just go chill somewhere

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mods are asleep post illegal lego building techniques

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Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

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wintermae replied to your post: i hope you’re all ready for the liveblogging...

[[EXCITE.]]

bread: it turns you into a goose

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i hope you’re all ready for the liveblogging tomorrow. not the episode. i don’t care about that. no, i’m about to run dungeons and dragons in character because i need to make a dungeon master pun and i am absolutely willing to do The Most and run an entire actual game of d&d to do that

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Absolutely nobody:

Classic who fandom: LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOOMS LOO

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mischieftomake‌:

“You underestimate both my ability to irritate and my experience with sulking. I am a younger sibling; my knowledge of both is extensive and exceedingly well researched,” Loki said flippantly, reaching out and knocking the offending puzzle off the edge of the table with one finger. “However determined you may be to sulk, sooner or later you will start craving the satisfaction that sulking will never give you.” 

“I’m surprised you haven’t been driven into a vegetative state by boredom already. Spending your time moping isn’t just dull. It is a waste.” He folded his own hands together in a mirror of the other man’s body language. “I can offer you something far more fulfilling. And far more profitable.” 

The Master sucked his teeth in irritation at Loki, but he wasn’t stupid enough to start a fight over impertinence. Honestly, it would be kind of hypocritical. He absolutely would have done the same, were the situation reversed. 

“Satisfaction. Fulfillment. Do you even hear yourself?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and leaning in. “If you had either of those things, you wouldn’t be here. And if you don’t have them, how do you expect to peddle them to me? Also, you’re kind of a backstabbing bitch, which I do say fondly, because that’s basically my brand too, but I wouldn’t trust me as far as I can throw me, and that’s what’s called impossible, so.” He shrugged.

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judaskisse‌:

                    sʜᴇ   ʜᴀᴅ  ᴊᴜsᴛ  ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ  time  to  contemplate  pulling  the  shades  down,  barring  the  windows  &  zapping  herself  to  the  furthest  place  she  could  think  of  for  good  measure.   ——    In  the  end,  the  curiosity  proved  overwhelming . 

Straight  to  business  then? River  raised  a  brow,  circling  her  own  couch  the  way  a  tiger  might  a  cage.  No,  yes  I’ve  changed  my  face  since  we  last  met,  no  time  to  explain  why  or  how,  nor  why  I’m  intent  on  this  specific  murder  today,  or  even  how  I  know  precisely  where  you  live. That  last  one  was  more than  a  little  alarming. ( Mental  note  to  self:  relocate asap!  )

                   ❝  No,  no,  come  right  in,  make  yourself  at  home! ❞   She  muttered  under-breath,  sarcasm  dripping  from  that  tone. Ok,  so,  surprises  aside,  she  was  interested  in  the  proposition.  They  both  loathed  the  Daleks  in  their  entirety  &  unlike  the  Doctor,  the  Master  wasn’t  caught  up  in  their  own  conscience  to  do  something  about  them.  To  add  to  that,  it  was  Missy  who  had  helped  her  escape  the  Library  &   Missy  who  had  planted  the  idea  of  new  beginnings  in  her  head.  ——  So  yeah,  despite  her  misgivings   she   was  going  to  help  the  Master.   A  familiar  grin  began  to  creep  across  her  features, widening  the  more  she  heard. 

❝ ‘Course  I  can. ❞ God  she  hated  that  infernal  sound.  

❝  I’m   ready  to  go  now.  ❞  Hand  went  automatically  to  the  gun  holstered  at  her  hip.  ❝  What’s  this  weapon  you’re  so  adamant  I  can  help  you  find?  ❞  &  how  have  I  never  heard  of  it  till  now? 

The Master opened his mouth, closed it again. "Hi. Sorry, didn’t think I needed to explain the Doctor happening to me again and I have some very exciting ideas." He held up a finger and inhaled slowly. “Umm - let’s see, I died unexpectedly because the Doctor is an idiot and got literally everyone killed, and it’s not ‘a weapon’,” he explained, putting air quotes around it. “If everyone on Gallifrey wasn’t dead, I would take you there right now and have the Lord President himself explain to you how he personally pardoned me for all of my crimes just to get me to come back and make weapons during the Time War. I am, quite possibly, the most effective Dalek killer in the universe at this point,” he said, matter of factly.

“The problem with Daleks is you have to either pick at the edges carefully to avoid them noticing the efficacy of any given weapon or destroy them all in one fell swoop, and while the latter would be nice - that’s just too much effort. So you clear out one infestation with one weapon, another with a second, a third somewhere else, and they’re so confused that they don’t know which way to turn and that’s when you pull out number four. I can always think of a new way to take down a Dalek, it’s just not plausible on a massive scale and those things multiply way too fast. Anyway, how have you been? I should have asked that in the beginning, shouldn’t I? I’m forgetting my manners.”

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Track six is basically a parody of London Bridge by Fergie

i wish chameleon circuit's music and thirteen's run happened at the same time, can you imagine the absolute bangers they'd produce purely from the last two episodes

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“.........................”

“I was trying to tell you your shoe was untied, but okay. Thanks for the compliment?”

@controlledapocalypse​  // sc !!

❛ whatever it is? the answer is no. absolutely not. ❜

❛ i’m unavailable for the next five thousand years, i don’t care how cute you are. ❜

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HEY EVERYONE SO NOW THAT IT’S BEEN LONG ENOUGH LET’S FUCKING DISCUSS HOW I NAILED WHAT WAS HAPPENING DURING SKYFALL AT 10:45 PM EST ON SATURDAY, JANUARY 4TH

other people who play time lords: “i like being kind”, “i like being powerful”, “i like exploring the emotional consequences of immortality”, “i like studying the subjectivity of morality”

me: “listen, samsung is going to make a hard drive that is bigger on the inside in the next twenty years and the universe is actually holographic and this is the only outlet i have for talking about how buck fucking wild physics is please talk to me”

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i uh. i regret asking chibnall to take my ideas. he has instead taken my worst science nightmares

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y’all: mlm and wlw

my chaotic dumbass internal monologue: mlem and wuhluhwuh

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Fun game: replace "baby" in any song with "maybe" to change them from being love or pop songs to just declarations of uncertainty.

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If you add two pounds of sugar to literally one ton of concrete it will ruin the concrete and make it unable to set properly which is good to know if you wanna resist something being built, French anarchists used this to resist prison construction in the 80s