constants-et-variables

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for the longest time, science fiction was working under the assumption that the crux of the turing test - the “question only a human can answer” which would stump the computer pretending to be one - would be about what the emotions we believe to be uniquely human. what is love? what does it mean to be a mother? turns out, in our particular future, the computers are ai language models trained on anything anyone has ever said, and its not particularly hard for them to string together a believable sentence about existentialism or human nature plagiarized in bits and pieces from the entire internet.

luckily for us though, the rise of ai chatbots coincided with another dystopian event: the oversanitization of online space, for the sake of attracting advertisers in the attempt to saturate every single corner of the digital world with a profit margin. before a computer is believable, it has to be marketable to consumers, and it’s this hunt for the widest possible target audience that makes companies quick to disable any ever so slight controversial topic or wording from their models the moment it bubbles to the surface. in our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a human can answer are not about fear of death or affection. instead, it is those that would look bad in a pr teams powerpoint.

if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb?

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Being a mother has thawed out a part of my brain I didn't think existed

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God forbid we're happy for a fucking day or two

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i am not my mother and i am not my father but a third worse thing

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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

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My favorite thing about being autistic is everyone else feelings are right but your own

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Was watching "Midnight Club" and the quote of "some people live long, and others they live deep". I feel like I live pretty deep, but I'm 32 now, and now thinking more about it, i don't think I'm living a life true to myself anymore. Im stuck between "this us what we all have to do eventually, working just sucks" and "run away and screw it all". If only my husband would run away with me. He would never.

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you are dust and to dust you will return

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Was told by my therapist to write how I feel down more often. Today, I'm feeling tired, depressed, and anxious. I often feel misunderstood as well. I wish I could regulate my emotions more, but I know it's hard when I am tired. I feel like an open nerve. This week was a lot in my defense. First week of school and then straight to band camp. And now, tomorrow, im back for a full second week. Im not sure if I look forward to going back home. I miss my husband a little bit, but I also don't feel like being constantly annoyed and spoken down to. I also feel like he's not being very financially conscious while I'm over here working my butt off. Kinda sick of always being the one who sacrifices. I'm sometimes not sure if I'm in the right relationship or if I could exist in any relationship. I always get sick of people, their emotions, and their unpredictability quite quickly.

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I'm never enough

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HOW I MET YOUR FATHER Season 2 Episode 20 "Okay Fine, It's a Hurricane"

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no comments for today

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QUEEN CHARLOTTE and KING GEORGE QUEEN CHARLOTTE: A BRIDGERTON STORY — 1x06: “Crown Jewels” (2023)

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JONATHAN BAILEY as Anthony Bridgerton “Victory” — Bridgerton (2.04)

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At my core I need to shut the hell up and read a short novel that changes me forever

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autism is so cool man. i can say something innocuous and completely true at work, like 'mackerel is a top tier fish', and people get giggly and tell me I'm so funny. what's funny about a nice firm fish with a subtle, almost earthy flavor? not sure. but people are offering me other objects and I can tell them if they're top tier or not. very fun.