confesswithus

[confesswithus]

CONFESSION No. 1

CJ. 

That's the nickname I gave you. And tbh, it lowkey hurts nung pinalitan mo ng CJ lahat ng username mo sa social media. Ewan yung thought na yung next girl mo, tatawagin kang CJ—na ako yung nagbigay, hurts me big time. How foolish of me to realize na mahal kita nung nagkakalabuan na tayo. At first, I just want to be distracted kasi I want to forget my ex. We dated each other. You were on your 2nd year in college and I'm on my 12th grade. Di ko naisip na busy ka. Kasi baka excuse lang yon hahaha and now na college na ako, dun ko na-appreciate yung pagpunta mo sakin after class. College is fucking different pala. We messed up so bad, my love. Idk if u really loved me tho hahaha I caught you multiple times sa bumble, isa sa rason bat di ko magawang isipin na mahal mo talaga ako. Tbh, hindi naman friends ko nakakita sayo sa bumble. It was me. I have a bumble account din. Di ko sure kung naglolokohan lang tayo non haha. Ang alam ko lang, narealize kong mahal kita nung nagkandaleche na tayong dalawa. Nung unti-unti ko nang nararamdaman na nag-iiba ka na. Hinahayaan mo na lang ako pag nag-aaway tayo. I tried to hold on. Kasi baka maayos pa. I cried everyday nung sinabi kong ayoko na. Kasi, hindi ko naman ayaw. Pero cold ka na that time kaya ganon yung ginawa ko. We got back together pero every time that we try, we fail. Tangina. Baka hindi talaga tayo para sa isa't isa. Ang hirap tanggapin. You came back and shit happens, naging friends with benefits tayo. You wanted to stay but I had to let you go. I love you so much to the point na pag dating sayo,hindi ko na kilala ang sarili ko at nagi-iba ang prinsipyo ko sa buhay. When I cut you off, that was me choosing my self. Mahal na mahal kita, tangina hahahaha hindi ko lang alam paano i-control sarili ko. I know on some days, I am toxic. And I am sorry. I love you, CJ. May you find the happiness that you deserve. Please, alagaan mo yung next girl mo and pakabait ka na hahahaha wag na babaero. I love you. :( 

Ps. Proud ka ba sakin, CJ? Nasa UP na ako oh tapos nakuha ko dream degree program ko. Konti nalang, gagraduate ka na hahaha worth it pagod mo sa apat na term niyo sa school. 

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