coneshotline
coneshotline
safe and practical cone removal
11K posts
hi i'm elizabeth but you can call me cones what the cones hotline is and why it is the greatest policy any british government has undertaken despite my love of praising majus daily, i am definitely not a tory • check out my cool twitter • check out my cool youtube • games i have toiled over • old election screencaps • 8tracks mixes ~*~more about me~*~
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coneshotline · 7 days ago
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so is there an xkit 12684 or something because damn this site got ugly
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coneshotline · 3 years ago
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this time, unfortunately, for real
elon musk bought twitter so guess who’s back
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coneshotline · 3 years ago
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elon musk bought twitter so guess who’s back
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coneshotline · 4 years ago
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twitter is down how you doin
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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Piss on me. Fucking piss on me but do it in the antarctic so that the pee freezes in mid air while you are pissing off a building and the piss turns to spear’s. impale me with frozen urine and then shit on my butt corpse. Im a fat gay and I want to go to Ice Hell ftw.
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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sup babes. it's ya girl cones coming atcha with a post. yesterday marked six months since i arrived blearily in japan, the day before all borders were closed and i was locked in to begin my new life. well, it's been half a year and here's what i've learned
i do love teaching elementary school kids, and if you follow my tweets you can marvel at the wacky hijinks both i and they get up to every day. the job is fun and easy although there isn't much, if any, room for career advancement and you get hit with residence tax from your second year, so i'd always planned to only spend a year at most here. in fact i'll probably start looking for jobs back home even before christmas because of the whole global pandemic situation getting me antsy about being unemployed again. i just don't want to come home and sit around like a fuck
in the meantime, though, i've been incredibly fortunate with my living situation - it really is a roll of the dice as to where you get placed, and my safe and clean suburban apartment has been lovely (apart from the odd cockroach in the summer - everyone gets them, and my downstairs neighbour just so happens to be a NEET). some of my fellow teachers (who i have a dungeons & dragons group with, as you do) have had absolutely awful mouldy old apartments or live in kinda run-down areas or have a whole host of different schools to go to. i only have two, they're fine and only a short bus ride away. although one is also up a big hill, so i've dropped a bunch of weight from climbing it all the time, even balanced by my love of japanese pudding
i hope i'll be able to come home for christmas! i do miss the uk, which sounds hilarious considering every single possible thing happening in my beauteous home country atm. otoh, only japan has gachapon machines with collectible mini telephone poles in them. maybe you can use them to call my most favouritest type of hotline. see younara!
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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once again i have joyfully updated my election screencaps page to feature 1970 which was repeated the other day to mark the 50th anniversary of labour taking a massive L. now all the 20th century elections are included. everyone is here! what will i do with my life now aside from wait for the 20th anniversary of the 2001 election next year i guess
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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ten years ago, david miliband emotionally coined the defining phrase of our age: he died jeremy
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i love the he died jeremy meme, it may be my favourite meme in the world because who would have ever guessed that this throwaway line in 2010, four years ago now, between the labour leadership candidates in an otherwise forgettable debate, would withstand the test of time? who would have thought that anthony crosland’s name would echo throughout history once more, not only as the author of the future of socialism and former foreign secretary, but as david miliband’s ultimate mancrush? who would have thought that dmil would take such profound offence to the mere thought of jeremy paxman having to explain to the audience who crosland was, then shake his head sadly and mourn his loss (no doubt not the first time he has done so)? and who would have thought that, as it so happened, somebody would manage to rip this clip from the debate - as opposed to just making a joke about it and moving on - and post it on youtube, where it would stay, eternally, forever? who would have thought? who?
and that’s why it’s so tragic, jeremy. he tragically died
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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27...yesterday
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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hiya all. thought i'd do a big post to explain what's been going on my life just in case you don't follow my twitter where i do most of my shitposting nowadays even though it's a godawful website full of godawful people and i hate it
as previously mentioned here there and everywhere i landed a job teaching english in japan and flew out on 16th march literally just before flights were shut down due to miss rona. i am now safely ensconeced in my shoebox apartment in yokohama where i have been spending most of my time. you see although we did training and about five days worth of actually going into the schools, for the past two weeks i have been working from home. i should be going back in a week but they might extend the lockdown. or let kids back to school then yank them out again. nobody knows anything. the japanese government is arguably more useless than our own but are just lucky there haven't been as many confirmed cases (although the figures are clearly being fudged - see the olympic kerfuffle)
before the 'state of emergency' was put in place (a pretty lax one because half of all shops are still open and people are just continuing on as normal, japanese elders have absolutely no fear) i managed to visit some nice places like kamakura and went up to tokyo a couple of times. might have to wait a while to go there again lol even if it is only an hour on the train away. anyway i'm okay, if very lonely - there are some nice people i've become chums with and we have a d&d group, but i haven't touched another human being in a month lmao. even the grocery store cashiers are pretty much wearing hazmat suits
that's about it. more deets are on my twi-[retches]-tter. at least i can always rewatch cinematic masterpiece the deal (2003) in times of hardship
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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post war pms ranked on how much i'd let them obliterate my pu$$y
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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reblog if your blog is an april fools-unfriendly area and does not support jollity, japery, or any other nature of tomfoolery either on april 1st or possibly ever
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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i never mentioned it here but we adopted a new kitten shortly before christmas, his name is percy, at first we thought he was a boy, then we were told he was a girl, before finding out he was actually a boy. so we called 'her' princess percy but continue to do so because cat gender is fake
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coneshotline · 5 years ago
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coneshotline · 6 years ago
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january doodle dump hope you like labour shit
and as always click for captions
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