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the new trans pride pins finally came in and they look amazing!!

you can find them in my etsy shop! 💜

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Oopsies! Looks like there was a little mix up with yarn colors and now Lavendeer is pink! 😲

Limited edition color variant available here! 💖

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“what’s posted on the internet stays there forever” is true for everything except that one piece of fanart you saw when you were 10 that changed the trajectory of your life forever. you will never find that again it is gone forever

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The creature who fell in love with the light

[Watercolor and gouache, based on ‘The Fog Horn’ by Ray Bradbury]

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I'm exaggerating a bit but im pretty sure everyone has been here lol

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Watching Together. 🫂

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Evil Sorcerers Need to Rediscover the Art of Subtlety

By Malakai Castlequill

(What follows is either a mediocre attempt at satire, or an opinion column originally published in the Wizarding Journal, "The Astute Owl.")  

In recent years, evil sorcerers have become far too ambitious.

Worse than that, their dastardly works have become boring and unoriginal.

I know this unpopular opinion will prompt bickering within the pages of this journal, and a flame war beneath the online version of this article.

But someone needed to say it.

We are deeply familiar with the scourges we have unleashed on humanity in recent years.

It almost seems superfluous to list them here.

But, hopefully, seeing them all in one place will allow us to view them in a new light.

One over-ambitious sorcerer, eager to make a name for himself, unleashed a global pandemic that killed millions of people.

That was, quite literally, overkill.

Although, even I have to admit that getting almost half of the commoners to regard the virus as a hoax, an irrational pretext for government oppression, or a superweapon intentionally unleashed by their own governments, was a mischievous touch.

But pandemics are tough, because a large enough death toll disrupts the fundamental economic lines of commerce.

And even sorcerers need to eat.

While we’re on the topic of commerce, getting a ship stuck in the Suez Canal, temporarily blocking international shipping, is the kind of curse that is more appropriate to the scale of mischief we should be looking to create.

Put simply, it was quite funny.

Although, it appears that happened on its own, without help from any of us.

We really need to learn to stay out of politics.

I know that’s an unpopular opinion, but hear me out.

I understand why one of our rank chose to make Donald Trump president.

“Wouldn’t it be funny if we got them to elect that oafish buffoon president?”

It didn’t take much to push Trump over the edge to victory in 2016.

But once again, the curse was too large.

That buffoon captured everyone’s attention, ours included, for four long years.

You could barely think of anything else, as he chattered away in his selfish, stupid, and incoherent ways.

Regardless of the wisdom of making Trump president the first time, it was really a mistake to do it again.

“Wouldn’t it be funny if we got them to elect Trump, again?”

No, Clyde, it wouldn’t.

We’ve all seen this movie before, and quite frankly, it wasn’t worth our time, the first time.

Finally, we arrive at the most over-done curses, the ‘natural’ disasters.

Just because one person was mean to you at Mardi Gras once, Steve, doesn’t mean you should send waves of hurricanes to havoc New Orleans every few years.

The collateral suffering is disproportionate.

Besides, that rude salesman moved to Texas years ago, a sign that once again, sorcerers need to start paying attention to the finer details.

And of course that copycat Joanne started sending hurricanes to ravage Florida, after she received some unexpected charges on her hotel bill during her Palm Beach vacation.

So far, we have been able to pass off our recent rise in disproportionate retribution as the consequences of ‘global warming,’ but that trick won’t work forever.

A Personal Approach

So, how should we misuse the dark magic at our disposal?

Often, we are motivated by a desire to punish a specific person who has wronged us. This is as true for magic users as for everyone else.

Our responses should be petty, vindictive, and personal.

But above all else, they should be targeted.

No more mass casualty events.

No more showing off the upper bounds of our powers.

No more raising suspicions about magical interference.

Here are a few examples of the kinds of curses we should be using more often in the future, rather than the comic book villainy that has become far too common in recent times.

Once again, our curses should be directed towards the person we despise, not the entire city or nation where they live.

Every third night after a rainstorm, the cursed person will be unable to fall asleep for hours on end, no matter what they do, and once they fall asleep they will experience nothing but nightmares every time they enter the REM stage of sleep. A curse that will give someone intense and painful leg cramps every time they wake up for three weeks straight, before those cramps vanish, without a trace. A curse that will give someone a faint and constant headache that will never go away, no matter what they do. A curse that the next time they have a medical problem, their medical provider won’t be able to determine the cause of their symptoms. A curse that the next time they need to call attention to an important problem, everyone will disregard their warnings, while considering the cursed person crazy, hysterical, or stupid. A curse that will prevent someone from ever receiving a raise or promotion for the rest of their life. A curse that will prevent anyone from viewing the cursed person as a success, no matter what they are able to accomplish.

These curses are specific, creative, vindictive, and perhaps most importantly of all, plausibly deniable.

If someone complains about any of these things, no one will suspect it to be the work of a sorcerer’s revenge.

It’s long since time we stopped showing off, and relearned the art of subtlety.

If you have ideas for creative, personal curses, leave them in the comments below.

Malakai Castlequill’s signature weekly column, “Magically Incorrect,” has generated lively and spirited debate among readers of the Astute Owl since he began writing for the journal in 2004.

Castlequill is part of our flock of award-winning columnists available to Astute Owl subscribers for the low price of $500 a month.

@bettinalevyisdetermined @strange-aeons

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November rewards are now available!

High-resolution files, time-lapse, layered files, brushes and more.

As every month, thanks to everyone that helps me staying an independent artist. Your support is awesome. 🥰

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selfie

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