coloradostonergirl420

[coloradostonergirl420]

anyone else fucking LOVE BEING IN BED???

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by Shinichiro Saka

Mount Fuji, Japan

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be the love you wish to receive.

Alex Elle (via kushandwizdom)

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I CANT FUCKING FIGURE YOU OUT FUCK

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no strings attached

No strings attached.

At least that’s what I tell myself

When you make me laugh.

My heart’s been trapped.

Not that I’d ever let it show.

I ate the fruit,

condemned my soul.

And when I least expected

felt cupid shoot an arrow to my ass.

Now I’m stuck.

Tied up like a puppy

to a post marked:

My Feelings.

I’m stuck projecting

visions, imaginings and illusions

On to a future that

may or may not be there.

Painting a life on a canvas

using dry erase markers.

Setting myself up for heartbreak.

For starters,

I set my mind to the rhyme

of a new lovers tune.

But who knows if that’s what we are.

Our arrangement’s one

of a different kind.

An arrangement

we haven’t even talked about.

But the projections convinced me.

Without a doubt,

you’ve at least–

thought of us.

Who knows what

Sick mind games

My mind plays With my heart.

For now I’ll just enjoy the sex

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No one knows what we are except for you and me, and sometimes we aren’t even sure.

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Almost but not quite..

“I miss him but I shouldn’t.” those are the words from my head. Trying to convince myself that I can’t feel or think that way, it isn’t even part of the deal…

I often wonder how it would be if a flirtationship turns into a mutual relationship. Or if it does really turn into one. No one will know until they get into this kind of game. And sometimes they’ll get so caught up to end it.

Flirtationship = More than a friendship, less then a relationship.

They start to know you and then eventually hangout with you. A little text and few calls just to check up on you. They do the minimal thing just so they can get in to you. One day they treat you so special then the next day you’re unlikable. It’s like you’re in a game who falls in love first loses. But you still try, hoping you won’t lose. You flirt a little, see often, talk less and ignore each other whereabouts. That’s how it is. But how does it start? Does it even have a happy ending?

I think everyone can be in a flirtationship, whether you’re old lovers that can’t get out of each others lives, people with commitment issues or just a soul who wants to have fun. No one gets to pick on how they can go through life’s maze. And that’s the beauty of it. You try to figure out how strong you can get  to surpass this temptation. I think people sometimes do what is convenient to them, whatever fits their needs at that moment. Even at the risk of getting hurt.

How can something so wrong feels so right all along? You begin to question yourself as you enjoy the thrills of being in a flirtationship. You get to do the couple’s thing without having to be committed. No demands, no expectations, no hassles, no emotions just plain friends. Freedom! that’s what it is all about. You can date whoever you want, you can go out on a Friday night not being all guilty about dancing with this hot dude or chick. You have the privilege of seeing and sleeping with them on a cold and rainy day or when you just feel like it. Some call it friends-with-benefits, some label it as no-strings-attached and others refer it as a pseudo relationship whichever you prefer. You’re unofficially mine and I’m unofficially yours. There’s only “ME” and “YOU” but no “US”. A messy pact with no guarantees that when the other person falls they’d be willing to catch them.

So what if it starts to get a little confusing? Can they just simply stop and quit? I think being in any relationship requires responsibility. You have to be responsible with your whole being as well as with your heart. You don’t get into this kind of practice if you’re too gullible, naive or emotional. It takes two brave people to talk it out and just be honest with their preferred set up. You have to know that there is a little chance that this could turn into something real. But why do people settle with this kind of relationship? Is this a sign of desperation? No. People only settle with this kind of relationship for fun, something that they can be in while waiting for the REAL THING, they use it as a stepping stone to see if the other person is worth trying or not. A simple excuse of single people who doesn’t want to be held on. An immature act of intentionally and unintentionally making the other person fall but definitely not a desperation of wanting to have a real one. However some are just getting too comfortable with the relationship and not with the person anymore. It’s like I’d-rather-have-you-like-this-than-not-have-you-at-all thing. So what happens next when the other person starts to feel something; something deeper than like, something a lot like love?

It’s fun at the beginning, you swoon with something that doesn’t exist. And then you start to really like the other person and wanting to spend time with them a little more than the usual. You miss them with no reason, you read your last text conversation over and over, you secretly hope that they are the one who texts you whenever your phone beeps, you talk about them a lot and you can’t help but smile whenever someone mentions their name. And then they start to make things too complicated when booty call comes in. And the more you get to spend time with them in bed all the more you get too attached to them. Suddenly emotion starts to occur, you get really jealous whenever the other person spends time with another being instead of you. When in fact you don’t have the right to be. You do things that are unnecessary but you do it anyway because you like the other person. You make yourself exclusive and start being faithful to them. Suddenly you’ll realize about the rules, those shitty rules. And that is the exact reason why you can’t and shouldn’t feel that way otherwise it’s game over. It could have been easier if the other person also feels the same way. And that maybe the other person is only scared to admit it and finally upgrade your flirtationship into a mutual relationship. But then that doesn’t usually happen and it’s hard when it becomes a one sided love. Especially when the other person starts to get cold. They made you feel you’re wanted today and then left you hanging the next day. No more constant text messages just late replies. Suddenly the person you know becomes the person you knew. You start to miss the person they were when everything was fine. And it sucks that you’re the only one who cares. Like they are just fine without you and you have to pretend that you don’t care at all. You know whats the worst part of it? is that you can’t complain because at one time that is exactly what you wanted. You can’t blame the other person because you both know that they don’t have an obligation to you or to your feelings. They didn’t ask you to fall for them at the first place, you just did. People push you away for two reasons; they either don’t see you as a potential lover or they’re likely starting to feel something for you but they’re just too scared to lose the game. I’m talking about egotism my friend and you can’t do anything about it. 

                You can never choose who you fall in love with and sometimes it never happens like it should. Because a real relationship begins when love occurs but for us this is where it all ends..

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friends with benefits is easily one of the hardest things ever, you’re with them everyday hanging out and being friends and then when you have your alone time you’re well, having your alone time. not being able to kiss them whenever and showing affection to the person you’re most affectionate to is the hardest part. you have to be closed off and not let yourself get attached but the thing is, I was attached long before the benefits.

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You are such an asshole. The worst bit of it all is, you only don’t want me now because I said I wanted you. And you made me feel like it was wrong for feeling something. Fuck you.

The message I would like to send but never will (via sleepingundershootingstars)

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Just because someone desires you, does not mean that they value you.

(via th0ughts-never-heard)

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Are you even mine to lose?

This Sky (via for-anonymous-romantics)