collecting-starlight

[collecting-starlight]

Do you remember those lunches we used to spend at the best (and really, only) Thai restaurant in town? We’d meet on campus, drive over, and spend hours just talking about...everything. 

I am still, as I was then, amazed you even thought of me to have lunch together. 

But I remember one specific lunch when the rush was over, when there weren’t that many people around, and all of a sudden, Kacey Musgraves started playing above our heads. And I think you knew then that I really did love country and folk music, which was strange for a person like me, with my background, my city, my everything to love, but I did. I do. And you weren’t a big fan of Kacey Musgraves at that point, but you admitted that some of her songwriting was pretty good. 

I was really, really happy to know you approved. 

Clearly, I know now that country music has really wide appeal. And it’s only gotten better since it started branching awkwardly into pop. There’s even Gabe Lee now, with his truly unironic and even kind of banger “Honky Tonk Hell.” Seems like no one pays attention to him, except music critics on the very, very fringe, but how incredible it is to see someone who looks like me just try. 

(Have you heard of this song? What do you think? How does the songwriting work for you? Is there anything else I should listen to now? If you’ve heard of him before, did you think of me?)

This week, I’ve been listening to Dolly Parton’s America. Have you listened to it yet? I’m not finished with it yet, but I’m in love. Dolly has always been this kind of person who’s just...transcended. Whenever the cards were stacked against her, whenever people tried to make fun of her, whenever she was being told to shut up and sit pretty, she didn’t take it. And now she’s turned her upbringing, her own culture, her history into a brand. An experience.  

I just finished the episodes today that encompass the visit to the real Tennessee mountain house and how the music of country music isn’t...really country at all. It’s an amalgamation, it has its roots in places that little corner of the world now hates, and also it’s just...maybe that’s why country music resonates so much. Because it’s a link to the music that once so rawly expressed the different facets of our souls. 

Anyway. I won’t ruin it anymore. I’m still sad I wasn’t good enough to get an invite to your wedding, but I hope your family is doing well during these fires, I hope your baby is cute and adorable and still lets you sleep, and I still hope someday I get to treat you to some pho and real Shanghainese food. 

[collecting-starlight]

A Premise

There are a lot of people I don’t talk to anymore. Whether our relationship ended by choice or in flames or from just slowly drifting apart, I still find myself talking to them. Finding small things I think they might like, wanting to get their thoughts on something, or just simply wondering what’s on their mind.

It’s always been small snippets here and there, but in these times, those lines have grown into pages. It’s started to take up so much space that I just need a place to set down the heaviness for a moment. A safe place to remember the best parts of our friendship, the sad parts and thoughtful parts, or maybe, just a little part of what’s left. Because I remember you.

Do you remember me? 

[collecting-starlight]

I want a home mostly just to welcome people into it. There will be bowls of candy for guests, and the cookie jar is full. I’ll always say “I was just about to make a coffee/tea/cocoa, would you like one?” when somebody walks in. There’s lemonade and iced tea made fresh on hot days. Once it hits That Hour and they start saying they really should be going, I’ll remind them that the futon is always open, and I’m making cinnamon rolls tomorrow. There’s champagne and sparkling juice hidden on a high shelf just in case somebody announces their engagement or their pregnancy or their new job while they’re here. There is an extra chair in the living room, at the table, and on the deck, and it’s for you. I want to be able to say “if you’re ever in trouble, come to me.”

[collecting-starlight]

I am an old sage…listen closely to my wisdom before my soul withers away…

[collecting-starlight]

It always takes two. For relationships to work, for them to break apart, for them to be fixed.

Emily Giffin

[collecting-starlight]

I’ll tell every one in the world that you are the only one that matters.

Ernest Hemingway