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i once again hold my loki blog out ( @tr1cked ) because i'm really excited about them, and i cannot stop thinking about this absolute queen. i don't feel like making a real promo for them so i will just continue to shove them in your face hehe.

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“... I already talked to him and it went poorly.”

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i once again hold my loki blog out ( @tr1cked ) because i'm really excited about them, and i cannot stop thinking about this absolute queen. i don't feel like making a real promo for them so i will just continue to shove them in your face hehe.

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death tw / vent tw

i literally JUST lost my grandfather on my father's side mere days ago, and yet - my italian grandfather just canceled plans with me sheerly over the fact that i offered to order pizza. when i tell you that my father was so fucking pissed about this ...

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i'm so obsessed with playing rivals rn i didn't write anything today augghh the griiind

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death tw

i finally talked through my grief with my therapist yesterday, because it was the first time i saw her since my grandfather died. holy shit, my voice was cracking so hard when i had to speak about it out loud i was not doing hot at all. i came home from therapy and slept away the whole rest of the day because it honestly depressed me so deeply to have to talk about it all over again.

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he was accustomed to rules, following the orders of people for as long as he had lived. this would be no different, not wanting to cause them any trouble when they lingered in a space that they were not supposed to be. entering a place like this ... it was frowned upon, but the two of them had their morally grey sides, wanting to see what was beyond those large doors. it was enticing, something that hadn't been explored in a long while.

❝  leave them for the ghosts, got it. ❞ he wouldn't take anything, it didn't interest him to intrude on a space & steal belongings for himself. he simply wanted to see the state of the mansion. hearing the sound of her camera going off, he knew that she was going to get some interesting shots out of it - the door alone was a gorgeous sight. pushing it open as far as he could, they were in the foyer soon after. a chandelier hanging high above their head - it was littered in spiderwebs & dust.

❝ i'll trust you on that. doesn't seem like it's in terrible shape ... not yet, at least.  ❞  he commented, taking a few steps around to check out the rooms attached to the main hall.  

❝ it's a lot of fun,just gotta be careful and there are some rules. ❞as with anything,you can't avoid rules in this life or the next. rules sucked but she felt better following them otherwise she'd end up on the evening news. she supposed it was in her blood,due to her father,but she tried everything to avoid that to spite him and live how she wanted to,not what others expected her to become.

❝ nah,leave 'em for the ghosts. if there are any,sometimes those stories are bullshit. you just know there's ghosts when you walk into these places. ❞she replied,matter of factly. she stopped in front of the building,getting out her camera and snapping a few pictures. she loved the aesthetic of nighttime pictures,how dark and ominous they seemed,they all had a story to tell and scout was going to post them later.

❝ i'm not gonna let you fall or bump into anything. i've got night vision so we should be okay. ❞

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❝  you are right. ❞ he mumbles, unsure of how she had grown so accustomed to them in a short period of time. most looked at them like freaks of nature; unable to integrate with human - society. she was different, seeing them as someone that she needed to heal when called for. BUCKY was appreciative of her caring nature; not wanting to take her for granted. she always was gentle about his wounds, even if he had accelerated healing. she never seemed to judge about the serum in his veins; considering him a person just like herself. her fingers tracing over the wounds, they had already begun to heal themselves; hardly needing much attention at this point.

 then the attention was shifted to his bionic steel. whether it was still working or not. pulling up the sleeve of his sweatshirt, he shows off the arm - it was free from scratches, almost impossible to damage. though, there had been a dent in the elbow. most likely from him falling from a high location. ❝  it still works. which, is good enough for me. ❞ flexing the steel, he showed that it was still operating despite the minor cosmetic damage to it.  

"Normal is an illusion," she murmured without thinking. "What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly..." Her fingers traced over his forearm, noting the scratches and bruises. Mentally she compared them to what she had seen when he'd initially returned from the mission. His accelerated healing was astounding.

She let go of his hand, then looked up to his face. "How about your other arm? Is that giving you any trouble?" She chuckled, grinning. "Just how that thing works is out of my experience, but I do have some knowledge of prosthetics."

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he wasn't accustomed to sharing a bed with someone else - no idea what kind of sleeper that he was. nightmares were frequent, so he could only imagine the ways that they manifested; whether it was kicking or talking in his sleep. he didn't want to startle her with his mannerisms - thinking a fair warning would be for the best. ❝  fair is fair, kick me back twice as hard. ❞ he said with a slight smile; not wanting to excuse his behavior - especially not if he was bringing her irritation in the middle of the night.

 ❝  what is a weighted blanket? ❞ the idea of such is foreign to him; using only what was offered to him most nights. the blankets on his bed usually consisted of the cheapest comforters that he could find - never spending big money on his sleeping habits. if it was something that would stop him from being too irritating while he was sleeping, he would gladly take her up on it.  

"If I accidentally kick you in my sleep, I apologize in advance."

CURIOSITY PIQUES. it's late, probably way too late for any semblance of proper judgment, but she just can't help herself. warm gaze falls upon him, eyebrow quirked. ❝ restless sleeper, huh ? ❞ more of an observation than a question, really— lips twist in a playful smile. ❝ no hard feelings. i'll try not to kick you back. ❞

there's a brief pause, breath held only a moment as fingers tug at the edge of the blanket. god, it's so silly. lips part despite the hesitation , ❝ if you're a tough sleeper, you should try a weighted blanket. you can borrow mine, if you want . ❞

BEDSHARING STARTERS. @coldfrcnt ♡

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fixing a fly - away piece of hair in the front of her face, he tucks it back behind her ear. it was a quick gesture, not intended to make her uncomfortable with his touches. his hand used practiced caution, no sign of rough behavior to be seen - surprising that it was the same man who could be so callous on the battlefield.

she swatted his hand away, and he pulled back - letting her adjust her hair as she pleased. scolded by her words, despite the reddened hue on her face. ❝  sorry - ❞ he starts, the words dying in his throat. he hadn't realized the effect that it would have on her - still slightly unknown to him. in his mind, she was angry that he had reached out to touch her. not everyone was as informal as himself - especially when she wasn't a member of their team.

thinking that he had done something wrong, his gaze drops to the ground; looking at the patterns in the stone. it was better than being met with her irritation with him. they still had work to do, no reason to stay stuck on his overly friendly gesture.  

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

"Hey! What d'you think you're-"

The words of protest died in Esper's throat at the sensation of gentle hands intertwining with her hair, a sudden, but overwhelming feeling of tranquility washing over her in that moment. The movement was calculated, but soft, despite the man it came from, his fingers carefully sifting through platinum blonde strands.

As quickly as the moment came, it ended, with the vigilante's eyes widening as her body tensed. She shook her head, as if to snap herself out of a trance, bringing up a hand to swat his away, taking a step back and flipping her hair behind her.

"You- ah... You can ask me next time before you do that, you know." She said with a huff and a pout, the dusting of pink on her cheeks betraying her thoughts.

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he can't read the look in her eyes, turning her hand in his own. they are soft to the touch, nails done up in intricate detail. he cannot imagine the upkeep that she must do to keep them so perfect. their color deep against her skin. she grazes his wrist with the tips of them, sending a shiver up his spine. if pressed in any deeper, they were sharp enough to draw blood - no doubt, a weapon in disguise. but his touches were gentle, giving her no reason to dig them into his flesh.

listening to her ramblings with interest - he doesn't know the first thing about philosophers. it might have made for an interesting topic in school, but he often slept through his lessons; if not thinking about his future besides books. palm - reading was a foreign idea to him, bringing her hand a little closer to his face. studying the lines that were there. ❝  they really mean something? ❞  he asks purely out of curiosity - she will elaborate, she seemed knowledgable on the idea of it. though, he does not know how much of it is true & what of it is just hopeful ideas. ❝  tell me, i want to know. ❞ 

@coldfrcnt sent : [ PLAY ]:          while sitting together, the sender absently lifts the receiver’s hand, idly running their fingertips across the lines of their palms, mapping out every inch of their hand with slow, lazy touches.

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐓  𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒    strange lights to glimmer behind her heavy lids,  the full seam of her mouth drawing into some mimicry of a smile.  Warm in the eyes,  treacherous in the curve  —she watches as Bucky carefully turns the delicate length of her hand in his own.  Her silver rings glint against the slow-setting sun,  faint lines marking her narrow palms being traced by the man's gentle touch.  Her chin lowers,  loveliness of her face beams as her fingers,  long and slender,  curl to affectionately graze mauve acrylics against the exposed skin at his wrist.

      ‘   Some dead Greek said that lines aren't written into the palm of your hand without reason.    ’    Her voice is soft,  all cigarettes and milk.  Dark eyes implore the other's gaze,  until they're locked.  She smiles gently.      ‘     He was a philosopher.  I don't really give a shit about philosophy.  But I like palm reading.    ’   Her head tilts,  dark beauty-queen hair glimmering  —framing her pretty face,  inquisitive darkling.   ‘    Want me to show you how to read mine?    ’

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people from alternate dimensions weren't the weirdest thing that he had come into contact with. in fact, it was pretty normal for them - considering that most people had powers in their world. he didn't doubt that this person was the same. he seemed unbothered by the nuance of super heroes; they were not a foreign term to him. he was dressed up in a costume that looked like it belonged to the X-MEN, but he was firm on not being a part of them. BUCKY didn't understand him one bit - nor was he particularly inclined to help him get back to his own world. personal problems, that's all he could chalk it up to. he just had to find the right telepath & beg them to help him. he wouldn't be much help with that, considering he was not a mutant himself. it left him with the option of going to ask the mutants for help, or sticking around here with those that didn't have such powers.

his attitude was no shock to BUCKY, most heroes had some sort of inflated ego. this one was going off about the choices of being a show pony; playing it up for the media. then, it was about the choices of names for their companions. spiderman - a spider and a man. maybe it was a bit basic, but that was just the name that suited him. pulling a face when he called STEVE america - man. he shook his head. ❝  CAPTAIN AMERICA. ❞ then came his own name: metal arm man. crossing his arms over his chest, his frown became more pronounced. ❝  it's the winter soldier. could you have predicted that one? since you know everything? ❞ he had no patience for people with attitudes like the other; not wanting to listen to his criticism for their team. the name that he used for him was absolutely ridiculous. letting out a sigh, he said. ❝  let's cut the super hero shit. you can call me BUCKY. what's your real name? save the titles, i don't care for them. ❞   

"Do you enjoy performing in front of people?"

❛ uh, YEAH. that's what superheroes do. ❜ it was just a part of the job, with the flashy suits & the people saving aspect. the other people he'd met so far here seemed to agree, even if all of them were kind of serious for him. he wasn't here to be doing their job for them - he didn't even necessarily know where he was. this was angstrom's doing - something something, portal. different dimension - all of that stuff. he was just glad he'd ended up somewhere life still existed, somewhere he had people like him who could help. the AVENGERS was their big name for the heroes, those were the people he'd gone to meet up with, asking for help with his situation. it was a weird, strange one to explain. none of them had truly seemed all that shocked, though. alternate dimensions were not so much of a secret anymore. mark just needed to hope there WAS a way home at all - until he was ripped through this one, as well.

he knew the real reason behind his question, though - the awkwardness between the two of them makes mark clear this throat, smoothing his hair back. he'd made quite the show of himself to the group of them - maybe some were not so fond of him now. it wasn't every day someone could make spiderman feel bad about calling himself spiderman. ❛ it's not my fault you guys are predictable. if the guy dressed as a spider is named spiderman, why wouldn't the big american flag guy be called america - man? ❜ he suddenly didn't feel so big when now he was alone with the no nonsense kind of guy. it seemed his PERFORMANCE hadn't been too impressive to a few of them, this guy included. bad introductions aside - hopefully he'd still get some help getting home. ❛ who are you, then? metal arm guy? ❜

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had she no clean clothes to change into, he would have offered her something of his own. he wouldn't have made her walk around in nothing but underwear. though, when she returned to the bathroom, she was wearing a fresh pair of sweatpants; prepared for the situation of her blood running through her pants. with a wound so deep, it made sense to be prepared for it. spending the night at his apartment - he should have known she would have been prepared to sleep there; the sweatpants no doubt her comfortable clothes to slip into.

❝  i feel i should take some responsibility. you wouldn't have gotten hurt if i was more ... more cautious. ❞ his kiss had been chaste in the moment, but it wasn't meant to be parental by any means. he had affection behind the gesture - getting him to admit to such would have been walking in circles. he was not used to telling people that he cared about them; a backwards way of doing everything. BUCKY didn't want to ignore all of the blame for her injury, knowing that he should have been able to stop the gunshot from happening. he was a super soldier, he should have been able to protect those around him. lack of caution for her well - being had ended up with her getting wounded.

 wiping up the blood was no big feat, using disinfectant that he had already prepared. he was no stranger to bleeding on his bathroom floor. truthfully, he didn't want her bending down trying to help him - she should have been laying on the bed with her leg propped up. ❝ don't worry about it, this place has seen more blood.  ❞ making quick work of the mess, he throws away all of the wrappers & tosses the towels as well - now tarnished from wiping up what would stain them.

 ❝  you need to lay down. come on. ❞ leading her towards the other room - connected to the bathroom, he was going to make her lay down on the bed. perhaps, putting a pillow under her leg to keep it elevated would be best. he was unsure, not the best at handling medical situations. truthfully, he tried to avoid anything that had to do with doctors & the likes. traumatized from his time in russia. he didn't enjoy the sterile smell of disinfectant - nor needles, or anything similar. leading her over to the bed, he pulls the blankets away. making a spot for her to lay down. if she ended up getting blood on the bed, he wouldn't have minded one bit - it wouldn't be the first time his bed had been through such.  

nodding silently at his response, she tested the movement of her leg before grabbing the pants from the floor. they were ruined now, blood having soaked through them, balling them up and tossing it into the trash. since he had practically demanded she stay with him during the early stages of healing, she had spare clothes to change into. otherwise, it would have been an awkward time - walking around in a shirt and her underwear.

❝  i say what i mean. not your fault. ❞ with one last look, she headed into the other room, digging through the duffle for another pair of pants. no sense in lying to herself - he reasoning did sting a bit but made sense. kids always asking their parents to kiss booboos to make them better. still, she had just hoped that maybe it was something more. as if.

picking a pair of sweatpants, she slid them on carefully, pulling them wide over the bandaged area. at least if she bled again, these wouldn't stick to her skin. heading back into the bathroom, she gave him a hand in cleaning up. blood had gotten on the floor, used bandages as well as packaging for the new ones. ❝  sorry for making a mess of the bathroom.❞

it wasn't her fault - she knew, but saying anything was better than the silence going on. it was a weird experience, scrubbing one's own blood off the floor. she'd never really gotten nosebleeds or any heavily bleeding wounds that would have caused a similar scenario. the smell of disinfectant filled her senses, not pleasant in the slightest but a necessary evil, make sure that everything was clean.

once the bathroom was back to the way it had been, she leaned against the cabinets, wiping sweat from her brow before glancing over at him. ❝  thanks - for taking care of me. ❞

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❝ you studied hard enough, what's a little break?  ❞  he mumbles, her hands finding their way through his hair. she was encouraging his behavior. he couldn't say that he had the same pressure to study as her - a member of the school's military program, his workload was remarkably less. finding himself in the school's gym more often than the library. when he was in the library with her like this ... he made himself the perfect distraction, eager to press his lips up against her own. the books weren't interesting enough to hold his attention - but she certainly was. eager for a bit of attention on her behalf.

her heart raced against his chest, close enough to feel it thumping against his chest. relieved when she resigned studying to later, he shifted himself closer to her - trying to put himself close enough to pin her to the bookshelf. they were buried deep enough in the isles of books that no one would have seen them - & if they had, it wouldn't have been too shocking ... other students had certainly done this exact thing prior to them. ❝ don't make promises you can't keep.  ❞ BUCKY said between kisses, a laugh bubbling up with his words. he loved to motivate her into further affections. kissing was more than enough for him, but a bit of touching ... that was always fun too. he couldn't say that he had limits when it came to her. they had spent a few study sessions like this already; half studying, half exploring one another. his grades only had to be good enough to manage his courses for his service. what he really cared about was being a solider. which he had managed effortlessly. a few study sessions with her, and he was good enough to make decent grades - what was a bit of fooling around on top of that? running his hand up his side, the fabric of her shirt coming with it; he doesn't try to pull her shirt off - he knows their location, just simply moves it out of the way.  

“a distraction... and a bad influence. what am i going to do with you, hm?” asked as fingers found and glided through the dark strands of the other, until she could comfortably splay a hand across his nape. silently encouraging his behavior—of course, because she blooms beneath his attention. she loves that he seems to need her, because she needs him just the same.

hands cradled the man's face as her lips found his, captured his and coaxed him into an exchange that started out sweet. within seconds, it's deep and passionate, hungry even and her heart is bursting in her chest as a result. she can study later, she decides then and there, as she breathes heavily between kisses she hoped would last longer. “more like what am i going to do to you now.. if you keep this up...” she managed breathlessly, between one kiss and another, giggles bubbling and tumbling before she attached her lips to his again.

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religion tw

don't even get me started on how offended my italian immigrant family was that trump posted himself as the pope - even if it was ai generated. the last couple of days have just been my great aunties going OFF about that shit

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woke up late today, so i couldn't get a lot of writing done before i have to do actual work, i'm sorry pookies :sniff: forgive me

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me, you, @captusa , @hiimbo and @symbicide running away into the sunset when.

immediately, let's go.