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bedeviles:

Cas’ willingness to go along with Baby’s plans had come about quite by accident, and while he still couldn’t be particularly lenient when it came to his expectations, he was at least more able to wait for them. The slightest edge of alcohol was making him more petulant than usual, however, and so he made a noise of frustration in response, a long whine while he followed Baby’s lead to lean against the bar. “Alright, so then why is everyone here old and drunk and human? You don’t know if they’re gonna show up tonight at all.”

Though the space presently lacked any awaited vampires, it was at least populated by something of a crowd, muted as it might have been. They’d been able to salvage the evening of a failed hunt more than once with some other chaos at a bar, some ill-placed flirting or a drunken brawl or just few glasses smashed, and he hoped that even if the plan went sour, they’d at least have something interesting to fall back on. His impatience hadn’t completely broken yet, however, so he just leaned in closer to ensure he was noticed and heard over a haze of conversation and tinny music.

“What’s even the plan if they do come, hm? You gonna just stake a dude in the middle of this place?” It’s not exactly the most wild accusation, as he’d seen a similar scenario go down multiple times in the messiness of Baby’s hunts, though he still wanted to press and chastise about it. He grinned as he watched Baby sip carefully at his drink, clearly more interested in staying tuned to the situation than Cas was, his own nerves marginally fixed to the door only out of habit, while the rest of him just turned to Baby. “Or are you gonna let me chase them down somewhere? Would be more fun.”

   Baby hated to give in to Cas’ whim, especially when the consequence could be blowing his cover, but tonight he was having a hard time ignoring the demon by his side.  He sucked in a breath, hoping for divine introduction to bring him patience.  “Then I guess we’ll be here tomorrow night, too,”  He said, turning his head to fix Cas with a look, one eyebrow raised.

   There was some camaraderie in this, standing at a bar with Cas complaining in that quiet, just-for-him voice, and Baby drinking watered down beer, casually scanning a crowd that was as human as they come. Maybe he had been wrong. He hoped he wasn’t, but it’s possible; even with all the data he analyzed, all the time he spent huddled around his laptop compiling evidence for hunters like him to rid the world of the feral and murderous -- maybe he was wrong.  Cas began speaking again, and Baby’s boredom got the best of him, and he turned to face him completely.

   “Maybe.”  Baby said. He was going to try and convince the vampire to take him out back for a quick snack and finish the job, but -- he wouldn’t tell Cas that.  There’s a beat where Baby says nothing in response, just smiles crookedly at Cas, drinking more of his beer to appear busy; maybe an outsider and a friend having a shitty drink at a bar.  “Maybe. I’ll consider it for good behavior,”  Baby’s voice is lofty, amused, some part of him is warming to Cas’ pouting despite his better judgement.  “They’ll be here.”  He hoped, anyway, he hated to be wrong.

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    Baby took a breath, fingers drumming against the wood panelling on the bar. He felt a bit like a babysitter, his eyes scanning the crowd lazily, lingering on a patron or two who looked back. Tall, dark haired and wearing a stained pink hoodie, feet shoulder-width apart and one hand close to a beer he’d barely touched -- well. He wasn’t surprised. It was difficult to be inconspicuous  (and sober)  with a demon in tow.

   “Cas,”  he said, rolling his eyes toward him lifting the beer and sipping at it. He rested against the bar and his spine ached uncomfortably, but it wasn’t of consequence.  The annoyance was hitting baby in small waves, reminding him each time Cas’ knuckles wrapped the wood, acutely aware of his stare. “Be quiet. At least pretend not to have the mental agility of a toddler,” he spoke out of the corner of his mouth, sipping the beer again to disguise a grin.

   Setting back down the glass, and wiping the condensation off on his pants, he sighed and turned to face Cas, only for a moment.  “Yes, I’m sure, or I would be getting a good night’s sleep in silence,”  he hissed. There was a part of him that enjoyed this more than what he remembered of similar stakeouts growing up, tense and uncomfortable and difficult to focus on. How things changed, he supposed.  “There’s only one bar in town. Drunk people are easy prey for a young, hungry vampire. There were two bodies found within a three block radius, so yes. I’m sure, and you know because I’ve told you this twice.”  

Somewhere between his second and third drink, Cas had decided the whole the whole plan was an inexcusably dull one. He’d been quick to agree to it with a promise of both cheap whiskey and a chase after vampires, but the evening wasn’t quite falling together the way he’d hoped ; the bar was too quiet, the drinks too thin, and, so far, the patrons too exhaustively human. It took a lot to get him buzzed, and the watered-down liquor left in his glass certianly wasn’t about to make much fast progress on that front, and he waved for a refill after chasing down the last of it.

“This is boring.” He finally started, not a whisper but his voice still low enough that it was clearly only meant for Baby to notice. They’d tracked targets into what had now started to feel like a dead end, and Cas’ hope for a conclusion with a fight was starting to wane with each uninterrupted minute that dragged by. Drumming his knuckles on the countertop, he watched Baby’s profile curiously, looking for a hint of similar frustration in his features. The staring was perhaps more unashamed than he was used to, but there was little else around of interest for him to pay attention to, which he would decide to be a clear enough excuse.

He wanted them to cut their losses and go. Better yet, he wanted to listen to his itch of instinct and bolt out the back on his own— knew he could recognize a trail if he really wanted to, catch the vampires in their path, lure them off somewhere alone to let out some building frustrations. Baby would surely only reprimand him for that decision later, though, and he wasn’t in any mood to face such berating, so he waited as patiently as he could manage. “Are you sure they’re even going to come here? This place sucks.”

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necromancy? u mean recycling

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maybe i’m still single because i didn’t forward that chain email to 17 of my closest friends 5 years ago

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I am a crisis arrived

Quenton Baker, from “Untitled [erasures],” published in Poetry Northwest

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she…              longs to run herself aground in a sad secret death. Is it a god inside you, girl?

Euripides, from Hippolytos, Grief Lessons: Four Plays tr. Anne Carson (via lifeinpoetry)

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no more desire not now not now

Beth Bachmann, from “return,” published in The Harvard Advocate

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I hang my coat by the fire and slip into my nightskin, my mourningown. Doing my best means letting best become endless.

— Jesse Rice-Evans, from “Self as Liminal, Endless,” published in Burning House Press

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soft baby 🌹

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I needed nothing else to know / But love and again love and again love.

Eavan Boland, from New Collected Poems: “Tirade for the Mimic Muse,”

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I almost feel like a child of love that reaches to the birds.

Julia de Burgos, from Song of the Simple Truth; “Dawn of my Silence,”

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if guardian angels rly do exist mine is off somewhere drinking vodka straight from the bottle and pretending i don’t exist

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