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last bitch standing
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Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna // July 19, 2017
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1 whole fucking year
I spent a whole year being sober. It’s a confusing day. I want to celebrate and I want to cry and mourn.
I’m healthier? I think so.
I eat better? Definitely.
I sleep better? Not really.
My brain fog is gone? Hell no.
I have more energy? Sometimes.
My relationships are better? Most of them.
I’m happier? Sometimes.
I always heard other people say that being sober brings all this happiness and their problems go away. Everyone forgets to tell you that it actually takes a whole lot of work to get that happiness and that those problems only go away if you work on solutions for them.
I’m hopeful for the future. But I still got a lot of work to do.
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Sometimes I miss the toxic traits and self-hating behavior.
But that’s just the addict in me trying to convince me that I don’t deserve better.
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