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[coffeespeakeasy-86]

What are we doing here? Time has seem to have gone backwards. Backwards in time. 

We push to be comfortable but yet we do not know what that means anymore.

Things are being accomplished. Time is getting used wisely. How are we still unhappy and unsuccessful? 

Moving forward is the key. Will the answers ever be unlocked? 

[coffeespeakeasy-86]

“A river cuts through rock, not because of it’s power, but because of it’s persistence.”  -Jim Watkins

[coffeespeakeasy-86]

Cravings

It’s been a week and I miss your sex. The one thing that attached me to you in the first place. How do I control myself and not reach out to you? I know we aren’t meant for each other but my body is telling me otherwise because it craves you. Mmmmm I miss your touch, your spanks. This is torture thinking about the way you would tease me and then give it to me so good. I wish we could just fuck…

[coffeespeakeasy-86]

Fall Hikes <3

[coffeespeakeasy-86]

Another one bites the dust.

I gave it a shot. Another relationship. It took me months to decide if I wanted it to be serious or not. I just didn’t feel ready. I also wasn’t 100% sure about this one. He was so sweet. A true gentlemen. Had that southern charm and I felt protected but also a little scared. I had this feeling from the beginning and wasn’t sure why. I got to see another side of him that proved me right about being distant. He is angry inside. I could feel it at times or knew there was something buried in there. I struggled the last few days with the idea of staying with him or not. You see, I have been in an abusive relationship before. Even though it was only words and a loud tone that he used on me this time, I was nervous to think of what it could be in the future. The old me wanted to stay because I felt like there was still love there. There was still his kindness and his good looks. I could tell him to work on it or never speak to me that way again and think it was going to be ok. But the new me, the me I have been working on for the last year and a half after my last disaster of a relationship I decided, NO. Not again, not worth it. I am moving upward and onward. I don’t need to make myself little again for even a chance of love. I guess you could say, I love myself finally. 

[coffeespeakeasy-86]

How I feel

Why do I feel like I don’t have the energy to deal with another relationship? The issues to overcome or things to compromise. It would be so much easier just being single. Do I even care about being loved again? Like is it worth giving up my time. I am jaded, no doubt. I’m working on it. I really am but when it gets to the point of having another argument with the same person about the same thing….what is the point? I told him I loved him recently. I felt it at the time and I do feel it sometimes but I don’t feel it like I use to. 

#relationships #jaded #whatsthepoint

[coffeespeakeasy-86]

Honor the past as your teacher, honor the present as your creation, & honor the future as your inspiration.

unknown

[coffeespeakeasy-86]

Life

Life is therefore an adventure which day to day is a ritual that leads to what is? A resolution to a circus ride in taking time for that day of a last breath followed with a consequence of dying pride from an addiction to anticipation, this is your creation. 

                                    -KatSch