clownsvoid

[clownsvoid]

childhood trauma is so weird because you grow up to find out that stuff that happened wasn’t okay and suddenly memories come back and you realize how it really messed you up on the inside

[clownsvoid]

probably seen spn enough with my grandma this year so now we’re gonna see the finale rn. im not in the fandom at all but spn has been pretty cool from what ive seen.

EDIT - that was the hardest episode i’ve ever had to watch...

[clownsvoid]

the person whos server i left bc of our toxic past lost her dad today to covid, and now i feel bad... i knew him too so this feels weird... ive been wanting to talk to her to let her know that i couldnt be in her group, but now im afraid to say anything. i dont think its a good time rn.

[clownsvoid]

Everyone say it with me: THANK YOU BLACK VOTERS AND ORGANIZERS

[clownsvoid]

The groom is coming…
Art blog: questionartbox
Ko-Fi | Patreon

[clownsvoid]

When I tell people to delete anon hate, to not publish it, it’s not me saying “ignore it and it’ll stop; don’t fight back.” It is 100% petty and spiteful. Honestly, I can’t think of anything better than the person who sent the hate obsessively checking your blog and refreshing and refreshing, waiting for you to reply, and getting increasingly frustrated when the ask they so masterfully crafted never pops up & you just keep posting cute pictures of your pets and talking about how nice your day was.

[clownsvoid]

[clownsvoid]

Been a while, huh?

[clownsvoid]

Pain has gotten to the point where I cant sit or stand or lay, can't lean, can't lift a damn marble coaster holder. Cant lift my legs to put pants on. Can't eat bc my insides feel tensed up. I'm living off heating pads and Tylenol. Idk whats wrong with it. The upper spine is perfect but the mid/lower left side is in extreme pain.

My dad better not bail, i need to make it to that appointment.

[clownsvoid]

Hot tip for parents both present and future: When your kid tells you something is wrong, listen to them!

Sorry for not posting much lately, I’ve been busy with work and personal stuff, including an upcoming spinal x-ray I’ve been waiting over a decade for and the angriest doctor I’ve ever met in my life

[clownsvoid]

the reason why tumblr friendships last like 2 months with a callout and screenshots ready is because you’re all freaks and because none of you learned how to communicate and I don’t mean like “you don’t know how to talk to people” I just mean like. Y’all think it’s healthy to hate your friends and just not tell them or not telling someone when they say something fucked up and then waiting for their callout to tell everyone “it was so scary!” Like y’all are what... 16-20 years old and can barely tell someone if you’re upset w something they did

[clownsvoid]

friendly reminder that twink, bear, etc, are body types, not gender expressions! being a twink just means small/boyish and thin/average build, not inhearently fem or masc. let fat/chubby/hairy boys be feminine! n let skinny/small boys be masculine!

[clownsvoid]

im gonna need a masterlist post of all the romantic and sexual orientations and gender identities bc theres been a ton more discoveries since the last time i checked...

[clownsvoid]

Day 21, "sleep"

[clownsvoid]

Here's Luke, a newish OC who is a therapist by day and murderer by night. He's like a hitman but you dont pay him, you just tell him who hurt you and he'll sort them out.

[clownsvoid]

In honor of spooky month i felt like i just had to draw one of the classic horror lads

[clownsvoid]

still. hating my body. stuff it with food or something so ppl can stop putting me down about it. force food down my throat. stretch my stomach. theres gotta be something wrong with me...

theres nothing to you! you’re like a twig! you better gain weight or the hospital will force food through a tube down your throat. you’ll break your bones this way. i hate how you’re so thin. are you anorexic? i bet you are. i wish i had your body. you must really love yourself huh.

sometimes i wonder if i should have gone to the hospital to be force-fed. i was only 13 then.

if my thighs can share fat or meat with my stomach and arms, i wouldn’t be in such anxiety over this. winter better hurry up so i can bury myself in thick sweaters. i always feel happier that way. maybe the weight can suffocate me.