clowns-to-the-west - Tumblr blog

[clowns-to-the-west]

i love vampires so much. this is unearthing parts of me i buried and should not have. cursed to live an eternity in death within a body i can not leave. i would suffer myself to live in death just to be with you. my love for you should not die, infect me with your soul so that we may truly spend eternity together…

[clowns-to-the-west]

need my vampire boy to take me away

[clowns-to-the-west]

tell me why my dad just texted me a picture of my elementary school bully’s plaque being a tire tech at costco

[clowns-to-the-west]

am i the only one that the diddy jokes dont sit right with

[clowns-to-the-west]

showering in candlelight

[clowns-to-the-west]

i fucking hate being so lonely i just want to be touched lovingly

[clowns-to-the-west]

sometimes executive dysfunction is nice because it cancels the Urges

[clowns-to-the-west]

asked to send boob pics and got a “sure!” and when i did i got a “nice!” like ok so im never ever doing that again

[clowns-to-the-west]

took a crying selfie but i lowkey slayed it

[clowns-to-the-west]

there is nothing that could possibly be more embarrassing than giving a fuck about celebrity relationships

[clowns-to-the-west]

falling for a taken girl while going through this is doing immensely horrible things for my psyche

[clowns-to-the-west]

i just need to cry in somebody’s arms

[clowns-to-the-west]

i’m happy she was able to realize why she was being one-sided on being open and that we did open back up. but.

can anyone tell me why she won’t even touch my body for more than 3 seconds on my birthday, verbally insults me when i try to ask her to feel my legs (she tells me she needs initiative but this is what i get when i try to initiate), tells me she doesn’t want to that night then spends the following two nights drunk at some bald guys house to sleep with him? like am i right to be upset about it? such a big part of all of this was that we agreed we needed to try and restore our own intimacy, and we agreed the night before my birthday that we would try on my birthday. i spent all day getting ready for it. i put in the effort for zero reciprocation.

it just feels like some double standard or i don’t know what. maybe this is my sign to leave this fucking place.

[clowns-to-the-west]

it’s taken so long to make better habits for myself in building friendships. i was finally at a place where i was excited to hear from people and eager to talk to them and respond, and all of it came crashing down in a couple days. i have no energy and i need space for this and i’m afraid that i’m not going to get it. i had so much momentum and now it’s all gone.

[clowns-to-the-west]

if i dont get to keep bug after all this im

[clowns-to-the-west]

the worst part about how this is all going is watching her say the same things i thought when i was monogamous. like its just so backwards and wrong and it sucks that she won’t try and see things how i do. im not even asking for compromise at this point i just want her to understand what it even is that i need

i love breakups 👍

[clowns-to-the-west]

i love breakups 👍