clowningaround

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The 2004 British short film, The Cost of Living written by Lloyd Newson, based on the stage play of the same name inspired me to test my physical theatre and dance/movement training throughout Laughing Gas. I wanted to show the power physical theatre has regardless of the use of words. Throughout the The Cost of Living you follow a numerous dance sections from ballet to contemporary, I loved the contrast between all the styles used in this film and I believe it had an impact on the style of my movements in Laughing Gas.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7oSES-NV20

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Joker 2019

Laughing Gas was inspired by 2019 Joker, the American thriller directed by directed by Todd Phillips tell the story of a middle aged man struggling with life and social injustice for his mental-health. As the film progresses his mental-state spirals out of of control and he turns to crime. Joker had a massive influence on my performance in Laughing Gas, a particular scene I was drawn to was the bathroom scene in this film. Within the bathroom scene the outside world sound is muffled as beautiful instrumental is played, written by Hildur Guðnadóttir. Joaquin Phoenix who plays the Joker is seen performing strange movements in front of a mirror during a dance section. I knew a performance without words is what I wanted to make and this was a great example of what I wanted to portray in Laughing Gas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBY4zUFxUjA&t=82s

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Peer Review

I had the pleasure of watching M.O.T.H.E.R, a journey of two girls who face the impacts that men have had on their life starring Terri Foreman & Kassie-Anne Timothy-Ravenscroft. Throughout this performance you see the love for mothers and that is truly magical.From stage to screen these two have impressed me throughout the year and to finally see their final project has been amazing. M.O.T.H.E.R is a wonderful piece that I think everyone involved should be proud of. The inclusion of child actress, Olivia Foreman was fantastic! What a brilliant way to showcase the stories journey. Olivia should be very proud of her performance, it was strong emotional and gripping. Well done kid.   After viewing this performance a particular scene that stood out to me was the train scene, after seeing this scenes development from stage to screen I was intrigued to see if it would still be included and safe to say I am so glad it made it to the final product. I thought the movements were well constructed and well thought out, Terri & Kassie have such great chemistry and I really felt their characters connection within this. Another scene that stood out for me was the singing in the car section, this was a great addition to the film as it gave the audience the chance to get to know Sophie & Bella.   The camera work on this film was great, I wish there were more close-up shots of the actresses to connect the audience more as I feel it would of made it more personal but I believe it was still engaging regardless. Particularly in the outside bench scene I think that if this was filmed in a more social environment such as university party in a kitchen surrounded by muffled party sound and then Belle receives the phone call - I believe this would have been more atmospheric but I do understand this choice artistically and the inclusion of other actors as extra's was great.   The slow motion and black and white flashbacks were so powerful in this performance, I especially connected with (Bella) Kassie in her final hug scene, what wonderful moment.            

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This is my inspiration logo for my FPP. I wanted to keep it simple as the piece is quite complex and I also wanted to give it a child like vibe. Inspired by the logo of Stephen Kings IT novel and the Pixar animated movie Up. 

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Tiktok audio i was inspired by

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Plan Rundown

Producer's Plan:  

Filming schedule – 18th March & 19th March  

Creatives –  

Actor – Lois Kendall  

Bethan Blackabee – Camera work & Editor (Filmed on a Sony A7ii)

Co-Editor – Lois Kendall  

Kata – Stage Hand  

Plan B:  

This will be filmed on an Iphone X by Lois Kendall, edited on Imovie.

Writing:

Tag Line: Follow the journey of a washed-out clown trying to find themselves under pressure of society’s ‘new-normal’. Covid-19 takes its towel on their ability to adjust, follow them down the rabbit hole and uncover their ongoing circus.  

Outline of each scene:  

Bird’s view of actor in bed, pans over to radio  

Shot of the door knocking  

Door opening to reveal suitcase  

Shot of suitcase on kitchen counter and opening of

Wide shot of props and tea party set up  

Close up of actor painting their face  

Psychedelic trip scene leads to bedroom door lock

Snap to mirror scene

Back up to shower scene (close up and shakey shots, panic, confusion)  

Birdeyes view of washed out clown in bed (drained)  

Blackout to audio knock at the door  

Wake up  

Opens door to new suitcase  

Shot inspirations:  

Joker 2019 Mirror Scene - Joker (2019) - 'Bathroom Dance' scene [1080p]

David Bowie – Lazarus: David Bowie - Lazarus (Video)

Joker 2019 TV Scene - Joker Talk Show Scene (HD)

Evil Dead 2 1987 - 13 Great Tricky Mirror Scenes

Mood board:

Prop's list:  

LGBT Flag

BLM Flag  

NHS Scrubs

Face Masks

Trump Memorabilia

Costume:  

Tweed blazer  

Black t-shirt or Stripey top  

Black trousers

Jazz Shoes  

Make-up:

White based face  

Red smile  

Dark eyes  

Script:  

OPENING SCENE:  

The Clown,unpainted and natural faced, is relaxing in bed,staring at the ceiling. The bedroom radio tunes out of “I don’t want to set the world on fire” by The Inkspots into Boris Johnson announcing the UK lockdown due to Covid-19, following this there is a knock at the door.  

The Clown sits up and makes thier way to the door, puzzled. They open it to discover a suitcase, leather bound and secondhand. There is a note attached, it reads; “Clown, stay safe. xoxo - The Government.”

SECOND SCENE:  

After examining the suitcase they make their way with it to the kitchen, they place it on the head of the dinning table enough for a family of six. They open the suitcase with an intrigued eye to discover it is filled with political strong items alongside circus props; black lives matter flags,NHS scrubs,destroyed LGBT flags, medical masks, and Trump memorabilia etc. As if someone had gathered the year 2020 at a children’s seventh birthday party and didn’t get the memo.  

Underneath all the chaotic rubble there is a rope, thick and scratchy to touch. The clown reaches for it, in a flash the rope has bound them at both wrists restricting them from any sudden movements. Confused and scared the Clown proceeds to dive deeper into the suitcase discovering grease paint and brushes. Without any sense of control the Clown intensely starts to paint on a face consisting of a pale base, dark eyes and a raging grin. Uneasy yet weirdly satisfying.    

The dining table begins to lay itself complete with plates and cups, the suitcases items start to form a tea party-like layout; using flags as a tablecloth and balloon animals lodged in between seats as if they were dinner guests. The Clown is confused and shakes their head in disbelief as the table starts to come to life in quite an overwhelming format. Alice In Wonderland on acid they thought.  

The Clown becomes immersed in this scene as if they had been there for days, they start to disassociate and start to repeat like a faulty record-player.            

SCENE THREE:  

After the utterly surreal event the Clown stands and drags themselves into their room, locking the door behind them. You can feel the weight of the bags under their eyes. They make their way to the bathroom sink tugging away at the wrist restraints, trying to remove them with water, soap and other such items. They attempt to remove their painted face but everytime they look in the mirror a new variety appears on it; statements like:  

“Black Lives Matter”  

“Equal Rights”  

“Police Brutality”  

This continues a number of times before the Clown is revisited by their pale face, dark eyes and raging grin.    

SCENE FOUR:  

They step back into the shower where they press their back up against the tiled wall fully clothed. They reach for the shower’s switch without even checking the temperature. They go on to wash their body as if fully clothed showers were in their daily routine. The Clown starts to express moments of discomfort during this scene as if you were watching a circus animal locked in a cage being forced to perform just for you. This scene is performed in silence.

Eventually the clown slips free from their restraints after trying what seems like forever to do so, stepping out of the shower to discover an unpainted face in the mirror. It is a huge relief. The scene concludes with an exhausted figure laying in bed closing their eyes facing the ceiling with both forearms facing the same way displaying the rope inflicted marks.

The scene fades to black with a pause. A distant knock is heard. It is the door. The clown sits up and makes their way to the door, hesitantly. They grab the handle and pull as if it were a band-aid. They stare as they see a leather bound, second hand suitcase with a handwritten note reading “Clown, stay safe, xoxo - The Government”

Softly “I don’t want to set the world on fire” by The Inkspots starts to play as the scene ends with a sense of a repeating sequence.  

[clowningaround]

CHARACTER PROFILE: 

Title: Laughing Gas  

Gender: Clown (take that how you will) 

Age: 23

Ethnicity: White

Name three physical characteristics: Short, big facial expressions, utter fidget ass. 

Where their money comes from: Street performing

Where do they live: Student halls, small, quite grimey, not extremely pleasant but enough to deal with.

Where in the world is their accommodation: London

Something they lack: Sense of reality, slowing forgetting the outside world exists, forming some sort of anxiety revolving around that.

Something they need right now: Emotional support.

A secret: They know they are spiraling out of control mentally. 

A problem they have: Loneliness, physical isolation.

A memory they have: Traveling to work.

Something they believe: They’re not crazy, just misunderstood.

Something they wish for: Equality and validation. 

Where they are at this very moment: In their bedroom sunk in front of a mirror.

What are they doing at this very moment: Painting their face on, (painting a brave face on). 

What are they thinking at this very moment: “The world is upside down and i’m turning with it”

3 things you know about them having written this list: Misunderstood, they are being silenced, they want to heal. 

Tag line: Follow the journey of a washed-out clown trying to find themselves under pressure of society’s ‘new-normal’. Covid-19 takes it’s towel on their ability to adjust, follow them down the rabbit hole and uncover their ongoing circus. 

OPENING SCENE: 

The Clown,unpainted and natural faced, is relaxing in bed,staring at the ceiling. The bedroom radio tunes out of “I don’t want to set the world on fire” by The Inkspots into Boris Johnson announcing the UK lockdown due to Covid-19, following this there is a knock at the door. 

The Clown sits up and makes thier way to the door, puzzled. They open it to discover a suitcase, leather bound and secondhand. There is a note attached, it reads; “Clown, stay safe. xoxo - The Government.”

SECOND SCENE: 

After examining the suitcase they make their way with it to the kitchen, they place it on the head of the dinning table enough for a family of six. They open the suitcase with an intrigued eye to discover it is filled with political strong items alongside circus props; black lives matter flags,NHS scrubs,destroyed LGBT flags, medical masks, and Trump memorabilia etc. As if someone had gathered the year 2020 at a children’s seventh birthday party and didn’t get the memo. 

Underneath all the chaotic rubble there is a rope, thick and scratchy to touch. The clown reaches for it, in a flash the rope has bound them at both wrists restricting them from any sudden movements. Confused and scared the Clown proceeds to dive deeper into the suitcase discovering grease paint and brushes. Without any sense of control the Clown intensely starts to paint on a face consisting of a pale base, dark eyes and a raging grin. Uneasy yet weirdly satisfying.   

The dining table begins to lay itself complete with plates and cups, the suitcases items start to form a tea party-like layout; using flags as a tablecloth and balloon animals lodged in between seats as if they were dinner guests. The Clown is confused and shakes their head in disbelief as the table starts to come to life in quite an overwhelming format. Alice In Wonderland on acid they thought. 

The Clown becomes immersed in this scene as if they had been there for days, they start to disassociate and start to repeat like a faulty record-player.           

   SCENE THREE: 

After the utterly surreal event the Clown stands and drags themselves into their room, locking the door behind them. You can feel the weight of the bags under their eyes. They make their way to the bathroom sink tugging away at the wrist restraints, trying to remove them with water, soap and other such items. They attempt to remove their painted face but everytime they look in the mirror a new variety appears on it; statements like: 

“Black Lives Matter” 

“Equal Rights” 

“Police Brutality” 

This continues a number of times before the Clown is revisited by their pale face, dark eyes and raging grin.   

SCENE FOUR: 

They step back into the shower where they press their back up against the tiled wall fully clothed. They reach for the shower’s switch without even checking the temperature. They go on to wash their body as if fully clothed showers were in their daily routine. The Clown starts to express moments of discomfort during this scene as if you were watching a circus animal locked in a cage being forced to perform just for you. This scene is performed in silence.

Eventually the clown slips free from their restraints after trying what seems like forever to do so, stepping out of the shower to discover an unpainted face in the mirror. It is a huge relief. The scene concludes with an exhausted figure laying in bed closing their eyes facing the ceiling with both forearms facing the same way displaying the rope inflicted marks.

The scene fades to black with a pause. A distant knock is heard. It is the door. The clown sits up and makes their way to the door, hesitantly. They grab the handle and pull as if it were a band-aid. They stare as they see a leather bound, second hand suitcase with a handwritten note reading “Clown, stay safe, xoxo - The Government”

Softly “I don’t want to set the world on fire” by The Inkspots starts to play as the scene ends with a sense of a repeating sequence. 

[clowningaround]

Story board and notes for my FPP, fabulous progress today. I’m excited to start filming and getting my props list together!

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Laughing Gas - exercise process, working from home. 

this task also gave me the opportunity to learn how to edit videos which was the perfect experiences i needed to take my FPP from stage to film. 

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Week 6: Shower

Another shot - I really enjoyed this task, it taught me how to adapt to my space and during lockdown isolation that was a huge factor to consider. 

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Week 6: Shower

A shot from a exercise in which we explored how we could transfer our performance to an online film due to the pandemic! Exploring the value of self-care and mental-health awareness during a global lock-down. I chose to film a scene in the shower as that’s where I feel most vulnerable and exposed in times of support. I wanted to investigate the uncertainty within showing in clothes. Not only is it strange but it is quite uneasy to watch as it is not a ‘normal’ routine. I wanted to bring that odd atmosphere to this scene.   

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Week 5: Lockdown Blues

Questions: 1) My story: Process of learning how to cope with isolation and loneliness, the effects of hiding emotionally displayed through make-up, movement and song.

  2) My audience has an open age range, not to pinpointed. Everyone has experienced vulnerability at some point, and isolation especially during Covid.

3) Why is it important? - I think it's important to share an experience that you not only have a personal relation to but something the audience can connect with on their personal level 🙂  

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Week 4: Lighting

Track to start as soon as actor open the door, stage to be lit in the center with an overhead square shape giving the illusion of a ‘box room’. Beams of light from stage left & right. This will remain for the entire piece. Mid way through the piece there will be a dance, when the siren sounds cue two moving lights to revolve around the theater in red until sirens stop and then back to the “box room” lighting. Blackout after actor leave stage.   

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Week 3: Laughing Gas: Script

 Laughing Gas

A spoken word

By Lois Kendall

FPP Performance 

The University Of East London 

*spoken with a rhythm intention* 

It’s all bullshit, the flowers, the cards, the emotional rollercoaster, but I am grateful for you. Four years of my life I spent with you I cherished every little detail. *beat* 

From college, to university, to complete independency in our little seaside flat. Our friends thought we were goals, we were the power couple that everyone wanted to know. But behind closed doors my good was never enough and I admit I thought you would never leave my side, I thought we were the perfect couple in a polaroid. *beat* And then lockdown hit, we got stressed, we got scared, you went to hospital but I was there when no one else was and then suddenly you disappeared and it was all my fault?

I admitted my wrongs that night...that maybe I shouted too much and got aggressive with plates and cups but i knew I would never lay a hand on you but I saw the fear in your eyes after I was shouting to the skies that I just wanted to feel like we did when we first laid eyes on each other. *beat*

And then it started getting strange, everything started to break away with no explanation just plain, you stopped texting, you left me in the flat for months to rot, I got help, I studied myself, I did everything I could to make myself the best version of myself for you?! 

When in reality I should’ve been doing it for me. *beat* She needs space so she goes away, I get away too and a week later I get a phone call; “This isn’t working out” *beat* I never hear from her again, I'm blocked on all platforms, I get a text from a friend saying “She’s with somebody else.” And I just freeze. *beat*

In reality it wasn’t the odd time I stressed or the way I shook my  head it was the fact that she couldn’t admit that she had someone on the side the whole time and wanted to make me feel like the bad guy.

I may have cracked open a vocal chord or two on an occasional Tuesday night when I got back in from work at 2AM tired and stressed for uni at eight; I just wanted to hold you for six hours till I had to do it all again on the Wednesday…*beat* But in reality you were loving someone else from the other side of the world whist tearing mine apart from the inside out, you sick fuck? 

You made me feel awful, you made me feel like I could ruin someone’s day just by looking at them, you made me feel like I was toxic. Perhaps I was? Sometimes. *beat*

I felt like I was drowning, I should’ve known! You had a girlfriend when we met, and you had a girlfriend when you met her so I guess I was different for three years or so? *beat* You said you would never cheat on me. “I could never do that to you” *beat* and now I see you and your new toy “Can’t believe we’re finally together” *kiss* 

I was just a pawn in your game, I was your benchmark, I was your stepping stone for your ‘happy days’ to start?!

I had to follow your every move, I couldn’t go out with friends or play video games past ten without you giving me the silent treatment until I say “Sorry babe, *short gasp* it won’t happen again” I was treading on eggshells for you and I was blind and it became normal to feel left behind. *beat*

It’s been seven months since we broke up, I’m here writing shitty notes about you and you’re off in the big city living the dream with your new hubby. You know the only satisfying thing? I am irreplaceable, everything we did, everywhere we went, that will always be me and that will never change, our first home, our first Christmas, our first date, our first time, that will always be me. And you can cover me up with girlfriend after girlfriend after girlfriend but there will never be anyone that loved you like I did. 

My mental state spiralled out of control, and it went something like this: 

*insert dance* 

But my friends were right, I was losing myself in her, it gave me comfort at first, I could shelter and hide but I just wanted to be free and fly and grab those dreams without saying goodbye. *beat* people say “don’t say goodbye” say “see you soon” but if I’d said that I don’t know what I’d do. 

Fast forward to now, I followed my gut, living in London out of luck, locked in halls this virus sucks. But I'm here, and I made it. And everything happens for a reason and don’t you forget it. 

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Week Two: 3AM

At 3am on a Friday morning I was unable to sleep, I started to revisit fond memories in my head, the good, the bad and the ugly. As they started to unfold I started to note down everything that made me feel unhappy, angry and silenced during my experience with my toxic relationship, it became clear to me that venting emotions into creative outlooks was my way of coping with loss. My writing started to develop into a monologue, the words started to flow nicely and it had become quite a therapeutic experience. Before long I had created a spoken word lasting around five minutes audibly. At the time I thought this was for a completely different project and then I thought it would be interesting to merge my previous clowning idea from week one and explore the usage of my spoken word and put them together and see what developments that would trigger. My spoken word opens with ‘It’s all bullshit, the flowers, the cards, the emotional rollercoaster, but I am grateful for you.’ I wanted there to be an abrupt cuss to engage the audience, I also wanted to express that even though my relationship was unhealthy and unstable I was still grateful for the impact that person had on my life despite the hardship.   

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Week One: Clowning Around

During my first week of producing my final project I wanted to explore the art of clowning as I have always been interested in exploring a career within it. Firstly I was working on experimenting with make-up, I felt this was important because as a very visual performer I tend to create idea’s from physically exploring make-up and costume until it stems into a starting point. From then on I started to develop creating a clown persona for the character I wanted to devise. I developed this by drawing various designs testing colour and shapes, my stimulus being the Joker from Batman, I used his character in particular because he appears ominous and misunderstood and has highlighting mental health issues. I wanted to communicate the ideas of ‘hiding behind a mask’ and emphasise the impact of not opening up to resolve internal issues. I wanted to explore the question ‘What is true isolation?’ During quarantine I experienced physical and mental isolation, in which both had their influence during that time and I wanted to bring light to the normality of this process and bring awareness to the effect of solitude. My performance is for the audience to interpret and discover their own relation to the act in its entirety and develop a connection of their own.  

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Artist’s Statement

Lois Kendall is a passionate queer actor and a diverse theatre practitioner specialising in musical theatre and LGBTQ+ representation. They create work involving queer performers and explore abstract possibilities. They are inspired by sitcom comedies and musical theatre, their actor inspirations include, Phoebe Waller-Bridge & Jennifer Saunders. 

Their methods of creating come in many formats whether that being inspired visually by performers or inspired by seeing something strange or unusual. They like to break down and pull apart their vision and discuss the work with the actors and work on them scene by scene to make the audience’s experience structured and layered. They want to explore genres such as physical theatre and movement, clowning, and immersive theatre productions. Abstract theatre with quirky concepts have always been of interest to them as a director. 

They have worked with local performing arts communities such as Titchfield Festival Theatre & have worked with the Global UK Rock Challenge event for over ten years, an annual worldwide performing arts competition which encourages young people to enjoy life without the complications of drug use, alcohol & tobacco. This event takes place in guildhalls around the UK in which secondary schools and colleges compete for awards for on stage and off stage work. Lois has worked as a performer and a part of the creative team for these events. 

Their intention is to create a community for creatives to come together and work in a safe space. They ideally want this business to run in the city of Brighton after their training and experience due to it’s queer atmosphere and it has always been a location where they have felt accepted and comfortable throughout their journey. Brighton is the perfect target audience for the creatives they are looking for. 

They want to run a theatre company of their own and direct productions via that outlet, including queer theatrical performances and a range of performance art. Lois specialised in musical theatre and has always wanted to direct musical productions due to their performance background, they have been interested in becoming a casting director for musical theatre throughout the years due to their knowledge and passion for this particular profession. 

Their FFP, ‘Laughing Gas’ is a clown performance featuring a spoken word, movement and dance. This project shows the deterioration of mental health during a global pandemic (Covid-19) embodied in the form of a clown. This performance follow’s Lois’ personal journey throughout their quarantine experience. They decided to be a clown for this project due to the ‘hiding behind a mask’ concept, they felt it worked well because it can show the struggles people face whilst concealing and bottling up their emotions hence ‘behind the mask’. They also go on to explore their experience of a long-term toxic relationship ending and how that event unfolded resulting in a positive and encouraging outcome.