clownculler

[clownculler]

I dunno why people argue with me on the severity of shitty writing that is Nepeta's death

[clownculler]

[clownculler]

recenty, I remeber:I CAN DRAW WH AT EVER I WANT!!!!!!!!!!So i draw meul. Yes

[clownculler]

right yeah the thing that initially inspired this rant. I don't think the best introduction to the plot and themes of Homestuck is a conversation between Karkat Vantas and Gamzee Makara.

I'm gonna become an act 1 purist aren't I?

[clownculler]

none of this applies to Intermission 1. Intermission 1 is not required to understand anything that is happening in the later parts of Homestuck because every piece of information contained within gets either reexplained or was never all that relevant.

it is completely unnecessary for a casual reader.

that being said, you should still read it anyway. because it's good.

I'm gonna become an act 1 purist aren't I?

[clownculler]

look I know for shit like JoJo people who insist on watching the whole thing in order are annoying and snobbish, but for Homestuck?

you really do gotta.

the start of Act 5 really is just such an awful place to start the story. the storylines aren't disconnected like they are in JoJo, or Lupin, or Dr. Who. Act 5 is full to bursting with iterations on previous jokes and references to previous plot beats. no one who started there would have had any idea what the hell was going on in the broader story. by the time you're halfway through you'd have to start back at the beginning just to make sense of any of it.

Act 5 is the deep end of Hussie's sarcastic, abrasive, and self-referential writing, and almost none of it lands properly if the reader doesn't have the context of Acts 1-4.

I'm gonna become an act 1 purist aren't I?

[clownculler]

I'm gonna become an act 1 purist aren't I?

[clownculler]

crowded

[clownculler]

TT: It seems that you consider me to be, no less than one hundred percent of the time, an obstinate stick in the mud. […] GT: Wait… GT: "It seems"?? TT: What? GT: Oh for fucks sake. […] GT: This is your auto responder.

Wait, really?

If it is, it's very good. I guess it's possible that Bro wrote all those responses himself, but I suspect instead that the thing is just actually sentient. Why not, right?

Plus, it explains why Bro doesn't like that Jane enjoys it so much. Like, imagine the AI you made as a personal assistant is more popular than your actual personality. That'd hurt!

TT: Bullshit. TT: I'm being like, the perfect dude right now. A fully fucking legitimate human being. GT: Ok then check this out mr legit human dude. GT: Excuse me sir not to be a bother but could you please tell me all about this strider fellows auto responder? TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: You see! TT: What if I was just fucking with you there?

Definitely sentient, and pretty funny to boot. The responder is set to answer someone fun Sburb questions I never thought the game would address, such as:

Does it think an AI can count as a person?

Will the AI at least have a sylladex?

TT: Would it really be so unthinkable for a human to type that? GT: Because you always say shit like that after i catch wise to your games.

'Like that' is important. It means there are variations in how it responds, which means the AR is actually making new shit up.

Plus, this is long before ChatGPT came into the picture, so the shit it 'makes up' is supposed to be a sign of true creativity, rather than generative AI slop.

GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers! TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: Gee dude you sure typed that exact same thing pretty fast. GT: Are you still fucking with me?? TT: It could be a coincidence that I typed the same answer. GT: You always type that answer!!!!! TT: It could be a coincidence that I always type the same answer.

Oh my god, this guy rules.

Can we keep him? C'mon, surely there's enough room to squeeze a fifth Player into the session. He can be our new Davesprite!

GT: This is pointless im not having this conversation unless its with my REAL LIFE FRIEND. THE ONE WITH HUMAN FEELINGS WHO ISNT A PRETEND PERSON INSIDE SUNGLASSES.

God damn it, Jake! That was not what I meant by 'the new Davesprite'!

[clownculler]

GT: I should preface this request with an overture of appreciation. GT: For how much your cool and brotherly friendship means to me. GT: It has just been… GT: Absolutely *bully* having a standup gent like you in my corner. GT: Just a grade a dude whos a cut above the others in class and camaraderie. GT: Phew… *gropes for fresh kerchief*.

Wow, Jake is fucking terrified of this guy - or at the very least, he seems incredibly intimidated for a guy who's ostensibly just chatting with a friend.

Unfortunately, this is exactly what I'd expect from a Bro who's not any different from his adult self. Jake's acting exactly like Dave did, back when he was forced to share an apartment with the guy.

TT: Take it easy, bromide. TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible.

In other words, you wish he was hitting on you.

I really don't think he's kidding, especially since both Roxy and Jane seem to want a piece of English, too. Jake's sitting at the epicenter of at least three crushes, which is not a pleasant place to be sitting when you're fifteen.

TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided, TT: That leaves only one hope for this message to avoid spiraling toward qualification as a critical fucking defect in the hull of the Mach 10 rocket that is my precious spare time.

And here's the guy's actual personality. It's a fairly even mixture of Rose and Dave, a combination which synergizes much better than you'd expect.

He's still prone to Dave-style rambles - but unlike Dave, his streams of consciousness are every bit as eloquent as Rose's text, which some extra swear words tossed in for flavor.

It's very good, and immediately does a lot to humanize him, especially when all we've seen so far is "roof. now." and "State your business."

TT: And that hope lies in the extent to which you were practicing artful insincerity. TT: Now's your opportunity to pretend that's what you were gunning for. I suggest you seize it. GT: I… GT: Oh. Yes! But of course. GT: The ironies! GT: Good grief how i was bandying them just now. You know me dude. GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.* GT: *NONSUGGESTIVELY!!!!!*

lmaoooo

Alright, I can't actually tell if that was a Freudian slip or not - but I kind of hope it was. If these two became a couple, the vibes would be incomprehensible.

TT: I'm guessing you're probably jonesing for uranium about now. No? GT: Ok can you please just sendificate me some more already?? Im in kind of a hurry! [...] TT: You know. I've offered to construct the rabbit for you many times before. I would craft a much deadlier model. […] GT: Damn it man ive told you this is just something i have to do myself. […] TT: Yeah, I know this is your policy. You've done a good job and you should be proud. TT: But it's my responsibility as your friend to offer one last time. TT: Just as it's my responsibility not to just fork over a bunch of uranium just because you ask me in a moment of weakness. […] GT: Why not??? TT: It's too easy.

Throughout this whole conversation, I've been trying to get a grasp on Bro's general vibe - and I think I'm starting to understand it.

When you're talking to Kid Bro, everything is a game - and he'll make damn well sure that you follow the rules.

Jake previously committed to making the bunny alone, and Bro refuses to rescind that rule, even if Jake's no longer following it himself. He strikes me as a guy who frames every interaction he has as transactional, confrontational, or instructional. He's not capable of just shooting the shit - there has to be an angle.

Mind you, I don't think there's any genuine malice in it. I think this is just how he's wired - and I really do think he's trying to help Jake develop as a person, in his own way.

The problem is, we've been down this road before...

...and nothing good lies down this road.

[clownculler]

i love drawing the little roxy hair swirl even when it doesn't make any sense stylistically

[clownculler]

2 aradia... again

[clownculler]

"Are you a Homestuck", no, I was like 25 when Homestuck debuted, so I don't have the excuse of the comic's fandom being a formative part of my identity. You're talking to a guy who has an original printing of The Starlight Calliope on the bookshelf over his bed; I'm something worse.

[clownculler]

butch and/or transmasc jane is going to pull so many women i'm telling you. her dad is dating somebody who would put dieworkwear's ruthlessness and fashion sense to shame he's going to have killer looks right out the gate. maybe literally killer

[clownculler]

JOHN: yeah getting into the medium sure was a shock!

JOHN: kinda weird to think about how committed to the whole video game thing it was

JADE: looking back i don't think i saw any of the gamey aspects in skaias clouds

JOHN: haha, bet you were surprised when the destiny powered universe engine turned out to be a giant video game

JADE: it was strange alright!

JOHN: and with all out entries being so hectic too! i mean, there we are fighting for our lives to get in in time and when we finally break the magic glowy thing it just spits us out into a gender select screen!

JADE: i didn't see that

JOHN: ...

[clownculler]

[clownculler]

JANE: (God. This is SO awkward.) KARKAT: (YEAH, THE DROLL HAS BEEN STANDING UP THERE FOR WHAT, FIFTEEN MINUTES NOW?) KARKAT: (HIS FRANTIC POCKET PATTING HAS BECOME STRANGELY HYPNOTIC. LIKE SOME SORT OF ELABORATE, RHYTHMIC CHUMP DANCE.) KARKAT: (HE'S DEFINITELY LOST THE FUCKING RINGS.) JANE: (No, I meant my dad getting married to one of these carapacian guys!) JANE: (It's still so hard for me to wrap my head around it all.) JANE: (I've never known anything about his dating life, you know? I've never even really thought about it.) JANE: (And then out of nowhere he's settling down with this... RANDOM EVIL SECRET AGENT ALIEN GUY?) JANE: (I didn't even know he was interested in men at all!) KARKAT: (THAT'S DEFINITELY THE MOST DIFFICULT THING TO COMPREHEND ABOUT THIS SITUATION, YES.) KARKAT: (YOU SOUND VAGUELY BIGOTED RIGHT NOW, FYI. IN MULTIPLE DIRECTIONS.) JANE: (Oh. Um. Sorry.) JANE: (It's just a lot to wrap my head around. I think he literally tried to kill us?) KARKAT: (MEH.) JANE: (And don't get me started on making Jack Noir the best man. I distinctly remember him sneaking up behind me and stabbing me right through the torso!) KARKAT: (I MEAN... THIS ISN'T THE SAME JACK.) KARKAT: (HE DID STAB ME ONCE THOUGH.) JANE: (What?) KARKAT: (IT'S KIND OF LIKE HIS WAY OF SAYING HI?) JANE: (What???) KARKAT: (I'M JUST SAYING.) KARKAT: (ARE YOU *SURE* IT WASN'T A FRIENDLY STAB?) JANE: IT MOST DECIDEDLY WAS NOT A "FRIENDLY STAB"!