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Hey no offense but immediately turning the narrative on the younger generations to fix this and to do it right away without offering any time to process what we're seeing is honestly just demeaning and cowardly. You have power too. How can you expect us to continue if you're giving up already.

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Reminder to self: "I feel so seen" is the response to many of the things I write, whether it's stories or letters or even crap jokes. My writing means something. Always.

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It's always people who are 1. from the richest countries and 2. have no meaningful connection to the place they're traveling to who come to popular tourist destinations and then complain that "it's so fucking touristy" like??? Okay then leave?????? Why are you here anyways babe? You know you can just not come next time and then you won't have to deal with the tourism! In case you weren't aware :)

Sorry this dinky little country that you joke about getting stolen from another country that you're also only visiting because it's on the way to your main travel destination doesn't actually suit your tastes! :) :) :) Consider telling people to stop coming then so the economy caters less to people like you and it can develop authentically without your neo-colonialism. Or you could, you know, accept the fact that you're a tourist who doesn't actually have any meaningful contribution to offer and therefore does not deserve any sort of particular experience you were imagining <3

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I hate to break it to you but arguing about politics from a moral high ground will never work. Never. Using guilt and shame and fear to pull people into your ideology will never sustain itself. It will only crumble as soon as the source of fear is removed.

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The leftist moral policing around voting is actually fucking crazy. "Go vote!!!" they tell you, hysterically, lacking even crumbs of tolerance to give you the time of day if you have ANY apprehension or argument against it at all. Then if you do vote, and you vote for anything but Dem, suddenly they don't give a fuck??? Oh so you only want people on one specific side to fucking vote? Sounds like you don't actually care about everyone "having a voice," you just want everyone to support YOUR voice. God forbid you vote third party, and suddenly you're the scum of the earth, worse than whatever "enemy" the right is made out to be. Jesus.

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"minors dni" except for the characters you write smut for huh 🤠

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i wanted to write a long and heartfelt thing about how people who have always been good people will never understand or properly empathize with those of us who were once pieces of garbage and they always say things like "i could never imagine you being like that" and that their faith in people is always super conditional but then i basically converted to buddhism and i don't have the heart to write out such nonsense anymore :(

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I feel like a certified aromantic moment is when I was like 10 my mom gave me celebrity magazines and they came with posters that I would put on my wall even tho I had no idea who they were and then I'd put lipgloss on and kiss them because that's what people did in shows I saw and I just assumed that you did that with posters but when my friends or family asked who they were/why I liked them I had no idea what to say 😭😭😭

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On top of that, I wonder if maybe these kinds of patterns are because it just takes more time and effort to imagine and explore the actual relationship and not just how the relationship would happen. I sometimes wonder if it's kind of related to instant gratification: it's more fun and endorphin inducing to read a bunch of short stories of people learning their feelings are reciprocated and they'll get to be in a relationship than it is to think about how that relationship would actually play out; the challenges and hard conversations and coming to terms with adjusting expectations. I think there's something safer and easier about writing/reading that triggers an easy happy button instead of a longer and more realistic journey. Which is totally fine and writing/reading is whatever you want it to be for you, but I think I'm trying to embrace the challenge of exploring relationships thoroughly with my writing. And maybe it'll help me understand my relationships in real life better as a result.

Something is interesting to me how fanfic oftentimes focuses on the beginnings of a relationship. Most of the writing and time, especially for one shots, is delegated to the long winded slow burn of two people getting together, and then it ends. Like the whole plot was focused on the pining and yearning and that there's nothing to look forward to afterwards. Sometimes I wonder how that shaped my views of romance and if it's something I'm trying to deconstruct as I go along my aromantic journey. I remember always feeling so frustrated when a fic ended because I wanted to experience more from it than just these constant beginnings. Maybe it's why romantic relationships often feel so disappointing once I actually get together with the person I thought I liked.

(not that this is just confined to fanfic, but I think fanfic is where I read most of my romances growing up)

(fanfic writers deserve the world. this isn't a complaint, just a consideration)

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Something is interesting to me how fanfic oftentimes focuses on the beginnings of a relationship. Most of the writing and time, especially for one shots, is delegated to the long winded slow burn of two people getting together, and then it ends. Like the whole plot was focused on the pining and yearning and that there's nothing to look forward to afterwards. Sometimes I wonder how that shaped my views of romance and if it's something I'm trying to deconstruct as I go along my aromantic journey. I remember always feeling so frustrated when a fic ended because I wanted to experience more from it than just these constant beginnings. Maybe it's why romantic relationships often feel so disappointing once I actually get together with the person I thought I liked.

(not that this is just confined to fanfic, but I think fanfic is where I read most of my romances growing up)

(fanfic writers deserve the world. this isn't a complaint, just a consideration)

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Are people really out here looking at other people and immediately thinking about sex with them or getting turned on or even like...thinking about kissing them?? Like you look at a stranger and get horny when you don't even know them? It's so bizarre to me.

I've been struggling lately trying to balance honoring my asexual orientation while also trying to be sex-positive for others. Specifically, there's just something about the idea of immediately thinking about sex when you meet someone that feels so gross and dehumanizing?? Maybe I'm sex-repulsed instead of indifferent to sex like I originally thought.

A lot of this comes from me reflecting on things previous partners have said that rubbed me the wrong way. One mentioned that in the first couple days we met I mentioned I was bisexual at the time & they had made the note that my orientation meant I could be a potential person for a sexual relationship. Another partner I had was moving cities and presumed they might meet people who would be interested in having sex with them (we were talking about whether to be in an open relationship or not). I just find it so weird that people are thinking about this stuff and so explicitly?? Like for me to say I'm bisexual and that's immediately where your mind goes? Or to think about potential new sexual partners as a prospect of moving to a new place?? It's bizarre and makes me feel like people have sex as such a big forefront of their lives? Idk it makes me feel icky about the way people might be viewing me and in general feels like a weird way to walk through the world.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Just kind of cringing or feeling disgusted by the norms around sex and how people view each other, but then also trying to not be sex-negative towards allosexuals? I'm not sure what part is internal shame vs asexuality vs parts of sex culture (especially male-centered sex culture) that are just gross in general.

Or maybe those things my partners have said before are not really typical for allosexuals?? Help 0_0

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How is it that these narratives repeat, like a theme written by the cruel author of my life (myself).

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What hurts most is the feeling of being discarded. Someone saying with their actions: this is all you were to me. You only had one role in my life. I couldn't want you any other way. You weren't a person to me, but a fulfillment of an idea. I found someone else who fulfills it better. There is no need for you to exist anymore. You are a story I will try to forget.

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I'm allowed to be sad because someone discarded me and it still hurts over a year later.

I am allowed to feel spite when I hear that they're doing well with their someone else that they left me for.

I am NOT letting it plant doubts about my choices for how I've handled my relationships since and my journey to better understand what I need from people.

I am working on accepting the multitudes of existence: being happy for them while also holding space for my anger, sadness, and confusion. I am working with finding peace in a lack of closure. I am learning to forgive and let go of the feeling of an injustice done towards me.

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dumb ass poem

Time has been so different fantasies of somewhere greater Something meaningful

The need for belonging Connections Purpose. It’s hard It’s hard It’s hard to realize to miss It’s hard pavement.

I long for the mountains a space to lay I don't feel like being out of the ordinary I wonder why I did this to myself, what I’m chasing after, why it matters. But places change

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Why the urgency to share, to become something (the idea of a something) other than what I am in this moment? Are the flurries of images & feelings not enough? Why must they be materialized? Who am I wanting to perceive? To perceive me?

10 06 24

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Something about spending time & energy always moving against the grain of life, feeling an urgency or fear within it. Having to give up one's peace to make great change. What it means to be leisurely, to not feel rushed or without necessities. What it means to return to this world & have to keep living in it. It doesn't stop with me, with you. Me & you continue, carry onwards. Me and you are the future that will have to survive beyond what we thought we would. There is no simple escape from it all through dying; no matter when our life ends it will continue. There is no present isolated from it's past & future. We will be there for all of it. We have already been there for what has been. There will be a way. There will be a win.

10 06 24