cloudy-sunshine

[cloudy-sunshine]

Don’t give me hope. Please. Be clear that it’s over. Break my heart. It’s ok. Just don’t give me hope. Don’t string me along, allowing me to develop this false pretense that we might get back together. You know that it’s over, but I don’t. I am an optimist. I am holding onto this thin thread of hope that we might miraculously work things out and end up together again. So, please. Break my heart into a million pieces and be clear that there is nothing left to salvage.

-Hope isn’t always a good thing.

-m.t.t.

(via mysilentconfessionstoyou)

[cloudy-sunshine]

[cloudy-sunshine]

That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.

Kaui Hart Hemmings, The Descendants (via poetsloveher)

[cloudy-sunshine]

I love the sound of your voice whispering in my ear, i love that the scent of you is still lingering in my room. I love lazy days in bed with you, having you here chest to chest, looking into your eyes and seeing my future with you. Your hands are tracing every curve of my body, while I trace the curve of your lips with mine. Here, with you, pulling you closer with every gentle kiss, my heart whispers I am home.

Tenari Ioapo (via tenari-ioapo)

[cloudy-sunshine]

my fav feeling is when you’re in love and you smile like an idiot a whole damn time

[cloudy-sunshine]

I loved to sleep with the window open. Rainy nights were the best of all: I would open the window and put my head on the pillow and close my eyes and feel the wind on my face and listen to the trees sway and creak.

Neil Gaiman (via lovelustquotes)

[cloudy-sunshine]

[cloudy-sunshine]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: hi Stranger: hey Stranger: how are you ? :)à You: im fine and you? Stranger: i'm very good thank you ! Stranger: where are you from ? You: hey can you give me a wpeace sign if you are real? Stranger: hmm , do you think i'm fake ? You: no fucking way You: u r real Stranger: hmm sure i'm real lol Stranger: but you didnt answer me , where are you from ? You: oh sorry i was caught up You: im from cali You: wbu? Stranger: hmm american girl , so cool ! Stranger: i'm from paris ! Stranger: and what's your name pretty american ? Stranger: btw keep your smile , i like it ;) ahah You: from fuckingparis is frekin adorable and real You: im kamryn wbu? how old are you? Stranger: i'm adrien , nice to meet you ! Stranger: and i'm 19 what about you ? You: 17 Stranger: cool :) ! Stranger: and then , you find nice people on here ? some cute boys maybe ? :) You: noooooo You: creepy old guys Stranger: haha i can guess yes ! Stranger: do you have a boyfriend maybe ? You: no Stranger: hmm crazy american boys ! You: more single than a pringle Stranger: girl , if you were my neighboor , i would already kidnapp you to my room ahah You: u wouldnt have to kidnap me id be happy to go Stranger: hahah ! Stranger: be carefull , cant promise we would be good kids ahah ^^ You: that smilllllleeeee has me dead You: how do u know im naughty? i can be good just for u Stranger: haha naughty girl ? you have this little angel face ! ^^ You: im no angel You: ican take you to heaven though Stranger: haha little crazy girl ! Stranger: you re born to be mine You: u mess me upwhen u say cute things like that You: can u give me one more peace sign You: suprises me every time Stranger: lol dont worry i'm totally real and totally in love to you ahahah ! You: do u have a snapchat Stranger: sure yes ! Stranger: adrien-louis You: my phone broke so i cant add u rn but when i fix it i will Stranger: okay perfect :)! Stranger: maybe you use skype too ? :) You: um no i dont have on You: *one You: but i should make one ust for u Stranger: haha that would be the best idea ;) You: do u lip bite when u smile?? Stranger: haha yes sorry You: no dont apologizeeee Stranger: Kamryn , trust me i would better bite yours ;) You: fuck You: can i just take a plane Stranger: i'm all yours , i will be your french teacher ;) Stranger: you re so perfect ! ^^ Stranger: seriously ! You: me? um no look in the mirror You: id let u do whatever u wanted You: thats dangerous Stranger: hoo be carefull , i could do crazy things to this little american girl ;) You: like what daddy? Stranger: should i really tell you ? it's going to be hot in your room .. You: i think i can handle it Stranger: hm let me test it then Stranger: i would put my lips in your neck , you would feel my breath on your skin , my hands would strongly grab your hips .. You: u look like u dont think i can Stranger: i would start to take off your clothes , slowly , and then tie your hands , you would be all mine .. Stranger: my mouth would continue to going down , you can feel my lips bite your nipples .. Stranger: and then contine to going down again .. Stranger: feel my lips on that little panties , my breath slide btw your legs .. Stranger: i strongly grab your thighs , and take off this panties with my teeth ... Stranger: do you need i continue ? :) You: hello fucking writer You: can i come over You: pleeeeeeassssse You: im begging at this point You: i never You: ever You: beg You: daddddddyyyyy Stranger: i'm more than glad if you like it little gorgeous ;) Stranger: do you want the next then ? ;) You: yeah You: what u said before was nothing You: i can easily take it Stranger: hm sounds interesting then , it was just a start ;) Stranger: well , i take off your little panties with my teeth ... Stranger: my lips kissing your little pussy , my tongue start to play with your little clit Stranger: one finger inside of you , you cant move with your tie hands Stranger: my tongue comes inside of you , you can feel how well , how good i can eat you ! Stranger: let me taste your whole wetness , i want to feel your whole body under my warm hands Stranger: when you re wet enough , i take you on doggy on the bed , still with your tie hands Stranger: you feel me behind you ... i give you one spank , and then another one for being a little bad girl .. Stranger: i want to make your little booty all red .. Stranger: then i take off my thight , very thight , boxers .. Stranger: i give you a spank with that big toy , to let you feel how hard i am behind you Stranger: then let me tease you harder , and rub that big toy against your pussy , against your clit Stranger: i can feel on my dick how wet you are .. Stranger: i open your little pussy with my fingers , and i put that dick inside of you ... Stranger: slowly .. Stranger: you can feel how hard , how big , how hot i am inside of you Stranger: hear the sound of my balls when i go harder , and faster ... Stranger: then i pull your hair , you can feel me deeper , fuck you like a very bad girl Stranger: you feel good ? :) You: im so fucking wet Stranger: hahah dont worry , i'm starting to feel kinda horny too ^^ You: how'd u know i like to be a slut for daddy Stranger: hm well , you seriously have that little angel face , but i think i'm wrong ;) ... You: i thinkk u are too Stranger: i have to keep calm because i feel very very hot ahah ^^ You: you'd probably feel better without i shirt Stranger: do you think ? ;) You: idk u could try it Stranger: haha okay , let see then :) You: i think your room transferred all the heat into mine Stranger: hmm i'm more than glad then ;p ! You: ummmm put it back on it isnt fair Stranger: haha if you want then ;) You: now your room is cold and mine is more hot You: no You: no You: it was a joke You: no You: nooooo Stranger: let me tease you a little bit , i can be much more than bad ;) .. Stranger: you ve seen nothing yet .. You: u are teasing me You: u have the body of an god Stranger: haha you re crazy ^^ ! You: which makes sense cause if ur a god im your angel You: i listen to u only Stranger: hoo very good , i can do whatever i want with my little angel then ;) You: whatever :) Stranger: you have no idea how i want to taste you and your little body ahah ^^ You: what do you think of girl with asses? You: like good butts? Stranger: i'm totally more a butt boy ! Stranger: i'm crazy of good ass ! You: okay what if they have both Stranger: then i will marry you ! Stranger: i'm taking first plane and bring a ring to your finger ahah ! Stranger: but hee i will need proofs ;) You: are u sure u dont have a girl friend Stranger: haha i'm dont worry ! You: these girls are crazy Stranger: i'm waiting you , and your crazy body about what you re saying ahah ;) You: what happens if i dont? You: u gonna punish me? Stranger: i let the mark of my hands on your ass then ;) Stranger: be my wife ! Stranger: that body hmm ... You: soooo isnt paris the city of love Stranger: hahah that what they say ^^ You: i think thats a good wedding spot Stranger: hahah totally , i'm waiting you ^^ ! You: u make me feel very pretty Stranger: and btw , you seriously have to create a skype , i have still more surprises for you :) You: fine fine You: is it the same user name as ur snap? Stranger: no , my skype is adribonh You: okay You: how big are these suprises we are talking about? Stranger: i hope you feel good enough , because on skype , i could maybe make your room much more hot than actually ..... You: suuuuuuure u could You: no way Stranger: you will have to put other panties , because i could probably make it very very wet ... You: i dont think you're right Stranger: hoo and why ? :) You: cause maybe i was lying You: maybe when u took your shirt off i wasnt totally turned on and didnt want to suck your dick or marry u at all Stranger: haha but girl , i can make more than only take off my shirt Stranger: you will have to create a skype to see it , cant wait ;) You: i bet u could but u wont Stranger: trust me i will You: fine ill make one now Stranger: hahaha okay ^^ ! You: i remember when u first showed up on the screen i was like yep he's fake and i was about to disconnect Stranger: hahaha well i'm more than happy you didnt disconnect ! Stranger: i seriously like you lol ! You: me too You: and u dont know a lot about me Stranger: yes i know , but you re very fun , i was almost ready to leave this site , i was so bored , and then i found you :) ! You: me too You: well i am happy u didnt You: cause know i met a god with an amazing body who is a great writer You: and can make me wet without even touching myself and its frustrating but its okay Stranger: haha and as i said , you ve seen nothing yet ^^ ! Stranger: but it's okay , you will have fun yourself and think about me ;p ahah Stranger: i met my little american angel , with her beautiful little face and her crazy devil body ! You: why is it so easy for you to mess me up Stranger: i could do it all night long ahha ! Stranger: yeaa i added you on skype :) You: i was hoping that was u Stranger: that's me :) Stranger: then , we leave omegle and we go on skype ? :) You: sure You have disconnected.

[cloudy-sunshine]

via weheartit

[cloudy-sunshine]

december 31st, 2015, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time. you were talking to a girl and i could tell that you were capturing her with every syllable that left your mouth. and i knew why: you were beautiful and bright, and i was drawn to you even then, like the planets are drawn to the sun. december 31st, 2015, 11:58 pm: we met standing in line for the bathroom. you introduced yourself, and asked for my name, smiling when i gave it. “lovely,” you murmured, and repeated it a few more times, rolling the letters around in your mouth like a new food. january 1st, 2016, 12:05 am: i could still feel you on me, your lips, minutes, hours, months later. the clock had struck midnight and you just grabbed me, didn’t ask if it was okay until it was over. you were laughing, brushing it off, all teeth and well-kissed lips, but i knew i saw you blushing.  january 21st, 2016, 1:12 pm: you got my number through the mutual friend that threw the party. i still don’t know how you got my address. i didn’t remember telling you. you couldn’t tell me, either. february 14th, 2016, 9:12 pm: you took me out to dinner and bought me chocolate and roses. it was all so cliche, and i loved every second of it. when you kissed me good night, i swore i could feel the rest of my life, pressed right up against my lips. february 26th, 2016, 11:33 pm: we made it official. i remember how you asked me, how shy you got, like you didn’t know what the answer would be. march 17th, 2016, 5:43 pm: we spent the day at the saint patrick’s day parade, and you filled yourself with beer and kissed me hard against the bar bathroom door. i drove you home and that was the first time you told me you loved me. march 18th, 2016, 9:24 am: you called me and told me you loved me again. “i want to make sure that you know i still mean it when i’m sober,” you said. march 24th, 2016, 1:09 pm: i met your parents at easter brunch. you had demanded i come with you, and i was glad i did. your mother was kind and beautiful, and your father was warm and handsome, just like i knew they’d be. after we’d eaten, your mother got me alone. “he’s never brought a girl home before,” she told me, “normally he isn’t very open about who he’s dating. but you, you’re different. don’t read into this, but i think he may really think you’re special.” april 12th, 2016, 8:31 pm: you saw me naked for the first time, and you kissed every inch of my skin. i’d never felt that much love from anybody before that night, and i haven’t since. not even you could replicate those few hours. may 5th, 2016, 4:57 pm: we fought for the first time. i ran into my ex at the grocery store and wanted to chat for a few minutes. you didn’t. when we got in the car, you told me that if i was still in love with somebody else i could just leave, and i told you that you should trust me and not be so insecure about our relationship. we screamed the whole way home and you slammed the car door when i dropped you off. i almost crashed three times on the drive home. may 6th, 2016, 8:03 am: you came by with flowers and breakfast. “I’m sorry,” you told me, “you just mean so much to me, and the thought of you ever being anyone else’s makes me sick.” i smiled, “but you don’t have to worry about that now. i’m yours.” june 16th, 2016, 10:51 pm: for my birthday you took me out to dinner and gave me a beautiful necklace with a silver chain and pearl pendant. we drank expensive wine and stumbled back to my place and fucked. i had never been fucked before, not like this. i woke up the next morning with bite marks on my neck and hickeys all the way down my stomach, but you were gone. “had to run,” you’d written on a post it note, “i love you.” june 18th, 2016, 2: 41 pm: i hadn’t seen you since my birthday and you weren’t picking up when i’d call. june 19th, 2016, 3:13 am: “ had to run,” the post it note had said. maybe you were running from me. i couldn’t tell if it was the 3 am darkness talking or the part of me that already knew. july 1st, 2016, 4:01 am: i looked over at you, sleeping in the darkness beside me. when we were together, things felt perfectly normal. but now, i could feel the shifts. “are we falling apart?” i whispered to you, and although i hadn’t expected an answer, the silence broke my heart all the same. july 4th, 2016, 6:47 pm: we were at a barbecue and i saw you across the crowd, talking to a girl. i saw the way she was drinking up every word that escaped from between your lips, and that’s when i knew. that’s when i knew you weren’t mine anymore. july 21st, 2016, 7:08 pm: i brought it up to you. “i think we’re starting to grow apart,” i said, “there’s a distance between us that wasn’t here before.” you reassured me that it was all in my head, but i didn’t hear it in your voice. i didn’t see it in your eyes. you knew it was there, too, but unlike me, you weren’t trying to do anything to stop it. august 10th, 2016, 11:37 pm: i lay awake and thought about what your mother said, all these months later. “don’t read into this.” but of course i did. i couldn’t help myself. fuck, i loved you so much. august 15th, 2016, 1:12 pm: you invited me over and i discovered that the key you’d given me no longer worked. “i had the locks changed,” you said, “i’ll get you a new one.” it was a lie, and i knew it. you didn’t get me a new key. september 8th, 2016, 2:00 pm: i caught you cheating. in a desperate attempt to revive the romance we’d had at the beginning of our relationship, i bought dinner and brought it to your place. when you finally opened the door, i saw it written all over your face; the way your eyes widened, the way your jaw dropped, the way your cheeks drained of color. i heard it in the stammer of your voice, the sharp intake of your breath, the grinding of your teeth. when the girl walked up behind you, half naked, asking who it was at the door, i already knew. “how could you?” i whispered, and you just opened and closed your mouth. the girl pieced it together and started screaming. she hadn’t known. i left the food at the doorstep. september 10th, 2016, 1:49 am: you never called after that, never came by, never reached out, but it wasn’t like we’d needed to confirm anything. i knew it was over, but it took every ounce of willpower i had not to go back to your place and find out why, why everything. september 27th, 2016, 6:20 pm: i kept finding myself huddled in a ball; in my bedroom, in my kitchen, in my shower. not crying, or yelling. just huddled, clutching my body close to myself, staring. still not understanding. october 31st 2016, 9:01 pm: i spent halloween haunted by the ghost of you. your face was around every corner. i could still feel your touch trickling down my spine. that night, i lost it. the anger surged through the sadness and bubbled to the surface. i screamed until my throat was raw, screamed at nothing, about nothing, for no reason other than i was too full. november 10th, 2016, 2:17 am: you called me when you were drunk and i answered. i listened to you ramble, vomiting up apology after apology. near the end, you told me you loved me. “call me tomorrow when you’re sober if you still love me,” i said.  you didn’t.  november 25th, 2016, 7:15 pm: i went out on a date with somebody new. they didn’t pull me in like you did, but for a few hours, i forgot about you and i felt okay. i drank myself to sleep that night so i wouldn’t have to think about you. the next morning, the hangover hurt more than you did. it was a start. december 24th, 2016, 8:12 pm: i was spending christmas with my family, and i was doing great until my aunt asked about you. i told her you cheated, but i was doing okay, and then i excused myself and threw up the appetizers into the toilet. i called you then, and when you picked up, i let out a sob. “you ruined me, you fuck,” i croaked, “and you can’t even apologize. not when you’re sober, at least.” there were a few seconds of silence, and then you hung up. i still hope that it ruined your christmas. december 31st, 2016, 10:23 pm: i saw you for the first time in months across the crowd. it made me sick to know that even after all that had happened, you were still the most beautiful person in the room to me. december 31st, 2016, 11:55 pm: you found me in the kitchen. “i wanted to tell you i’m sorry,” you yelled over the music, “and i miss you.” and in those final moments of the year, i thought about it. i thought about letting you back in. the countdown started, and you moved closer to me. and i.. i pushed you away. i turned away from you and said, “no. i can’t.” and i walked out of the room. january 1st, 2017, 12:05 am: i have forgotten how you felt against me, your lips. and for the first time, i am finally okay with that.

a year in review -c.h. // instagram: @evanescent.love (via @poeticaffinity)

[cloudy-sunshine]

[cloudy-sunshine]

don't be afraid baby

[cloudy-sunshine]

by Shodo Kawarazaki 1889-1973

[cloudy-sunshine]

via weheartit

[cloudy-sunshine]

[cloudy-sunshine]

[cloudy-sunshine]