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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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Oh please please PLEASE do some CEO aus???

i tried to do a few CEO aus but i also put some general office workplace aus in there as well :^)

we’re rival CEO’s and jeez is it hard to ram your business into the ground when you’re so attractive

how on earth did they get promoted to CEO and not me??? they haven’t even shown up to work this morning!!!

turns out the company’s going under so they put you as the CEO to put all the blame on you, ah shit i gotta help them haven’t i

you’re always at the photocopier when i am and we haven’t done anything except nod at each other in passing but my brain is determined that something else is happening

“i hate my job.”“but you’re the CEO of one of the must successful businesses in the world, how could you hate your job?”“exactly. that’s the reason! no one sees me as anything other than this successful CEO, sometimes i think i’d be happier working in a coffee shop.”

“secretary?”“well i could call you ‘glorified personal assistant’ if you’d like?”“okay fine. secretary it is then.”

you’re the CEO yet you act like a child, honestly i don’t get paid enough for this

“…you bought a bean bag… for your office”“i thought it made me look more approachable”“it makes you look like an idiot.”“close enough.”

it’s hard trying to keep your relationship a secret, especially when your significant other is the CEO at your company

“what are you two doing in the supply closet?!” (Person C)“i needed some…advice on office supplies..yeah, see i don’t know if i want to use a stapler. but how durable are paperclips when it comes to keeping stacks of very important papers together— okay they’re gone.” (Person A)“you know, this could go two ways. they could either be so freaked out they tell everyone in the office or they could be so traumatised that they don’t say anything and let it haunt them for the rest of their days.” (Person B)“i’m hoping for the later option.” (Person A)

so, let me get this straight: you’re telling me that my superior, the CEO might i add, the one who constantly sets me ridiculously huge projects with the shortest deadlines in history, the one who enjoys ridiculing me in front of my coworkers, the person who has trapped me in this terrible job for years and refuses to give me a promotion despite all my hard-work…is in love with me?!?

my new job is so weird, i barely do any work at all! my boss constantly insists that i sit back and relax, and then when i do do ‘work’ it normally just includes me running errands with them. it’s really strange, one time they even bought me lunch! man, i wonder if they treat all their employees like this?

“honey…they’re obviously in love with you.”“what makes you think tha—ah shit.”

“we’re both overly competitive to get the top job, i’ll admit, constantly trying to sabotage each other’s work and ruin each other’s reputation. i hate them!”“are you sure it’s not something else?”

“no offence, but i liked our last boss a lot more than you”“don’t worry, i do too.”

“yeah, hi, i randomly got promoted to CEO and i have no idea what i’m doing. i need some help but i don’t want anyone to know that i suck at my job??”

“you’re lucky i like you, otherwise you’d be screwed.”

okay, i’ve had enough of their bull. they treat their employees like shit, we barely get enough money to get by, they set us ridiculous deadlines while they sit on their ass all day! im gonna charge into their office and give them a piece of my mind!!

“yes, what is it?”“i - uh - we wanted to - um … say thanks! for being such a great boss, of course and uh - yeah! that’s all i had to say. bye!”

“so, did you give them a piece of your mind?”“what? oh.. yeah! i did! totally!”“…you got distracted again didn’t you.”“yeah. listen, i’d totally give them a piece of my mind if i didn’t find them attractive.”

“they’re totally dating their secretary.”“you think so?”“obviously they are! i mean, just look at them together! it’s fucking adorable!”

“do you even need a secretary”“i need the company and you’re about the only person in this building you can stand me”

“where’d you hear that from”“…”“i’M KIDDING”

hope these helped!!

- jess

send in requests!!submit an au!!

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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queer fantasy/sci-fi/paranormal/dystopian books and graphic novels that i’ve read or planning to read

i’m easily distracted, so i decided to make a list of books i should start reading this spring, then i thought that it can be useful for some of my followers, because i’m frequently asked to give recs on these genres…so here it is, kind of a rec list, but not really, because most of them are the things i’m only planning to start

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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“Shiro knew. He knew Lance was flexible. He’d seen it. Multiple times. But turns out there is a world of difference between seeing and actually feeling just how flexible Lance is.”

(here, have some flustered Shiro :D it’s definitely my favourite kind of Shiro ngl. also, petition to go back in time and fucking murder past!me for thinking it was a great idea to just… line over the rough sketch. good going, me)

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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Free Online Language Courses

Here is a masterpost of MOOCs (massive open online courses) that are available, archived, or starting soon. I think they will help those that like to learn with a teacher or with videos. You can always check the audit course or no certificate option so that you can learn for free.

American Sign Language

ASL University

Arabic

Arabic for Global Exchange (in the drop down menu)

Arabic Without Walls

Intro to Arabic

Madinah Arabic

Moroccan Arabic

Catalan Sign Language

Intro to Catalan Sign Language

Chinese

Beginner

Basic Chinese

Basic Chinese I. II, III, IV , V

Basic Mandarin Chinese I & II

Beginner’s Chinese

Chinese for Beginners

Chinese Characters

Chinese for HSK 1

First Year Chinese I & II

HSK Level 1

Mandarin Chinese I

Mandarin Chinese for Business

More Chinese for Beginners

Start Talking Mandarin Chinese

UT Gateway to Chinese

Chino Básico (Taught in Spanish)

Intermediate

Chinese Stories

Intermediate Business Chinese

Intermediate Chinese Grammar

Dutch

Introduction to Dutch

English

Online Courses here

Resources Here

Faroese

Faroese Course

Finnish

A Taste of Finnish

Basic Finnish

Finnish for Immigrants

Finnish for Medical Professionals

French

Beginner

AP French Language and Culture

Basic French Skills

Beginner’s French: Food & Drink

Diploma in French

Elementary French I & II

Français Interactif

French in Action

French for Beginners

French Language Studies I, II, III

French:Ouverture

Intermediate & Advanced

French: Le Quatorze Juillet

Passe Partout

La Cité des Sciences et de Industrie

Frisian

Introduction to Frisian (Taught in English)

Introduction to Frisian (Taught in Dutch)

German

Beginner

Beginner’s German: Food & Drink

Conversational German I, II, III, IV

Deutsch im Blick

Diploma in German

Rundblick-Beginner’s German

Advanced

German:Regionen Traditionen und Geschichte

Landschaftliche Vielfalt

Hebrew

Biblical Hebrew

Know the Hebrew Alphabet

Teach Me Hebrew

Hindi

A Door into Hindi

Business Hindi

Virtual Hindi

Icelandic

Icelandic 1-5

Indonesian

Learn Indonesian

Irish

Introduction to Irish

Italian

Beginner

Beginner’s Italian: Food & Drink

Beginner’s Italian I

Introduction to Italian

Italian for Beginners 1 , 2, 3 , 4 , 5, 6

Intermediate & Advaned

Intermediate Italian I

Advanced Italian I

La Commedia di Dante

Japanese

Genki

Japanese JOSHU

Japanese Pronunciation

Sing and Learn Japanese

Tufs JpLang

Kazakh

A1-B2 Kazakh (Taught in Russian)

Korean

Beginner

First Step Korean

How to Study Korean

Learn to Speak Korean

Pathway to Spoken Korean

Intermediate

Intermediate Korean

Nepali

Beginner’s Conversation and Grammar

Norwegian

Introduction to Norwegian

Norwegian on the Web

Portuguese

Curso de Português para Estrangeiros

Pluralidades em Português Brasileiro

Russian

Beginner

Easy Accelerated Learning for Russian

Advanced

Reading Master and Margarita

Russian as an Instrument of Communication

Siberia: Russian for Foreigners

Spanish

Beginner

AP Spanish Language & Culture

Basic Spanish for English Speakers

Beginner’s Spanish:Food & Drink

Fastbreak Spanish

Introduction to Spanish

Restaurants and Dining Out

Spanish for Beginners

Spanish for Beginners 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Spanish Vocabulary

Intermediate

Spanish:Ciudades con Historia

Spanish:Espacios Públicos

Advanced

Corrección, Estilo y Variaciones

Leer a Macondo

Spanish:Con Mis Propias Manos

Spanish: Perspectivas Porteñas

Swedish

Intro to Swedish

Swedish Made Easy 1, 2, & 3

Ukrainian

Read Ukrainian

Ukrainian Language for Beginners

Welsh

Beginner’s Welsh

Discovering Wales

Multiple Languages

Ancient Languages

More Language Learning Resources & Websites!

Last updated: March 1, 2017

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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HARRY LIVE ON TOUR - LONDON - 10.29.2017 (@addictof1d)

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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Your wife changes her hair color every season and her personality adjusts slightly. You’re secretly only in love with Autumn wife. She just came home sporting her Winter color.

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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tumblr

rip vine :(

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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Ray Frenden reviews the too-cheap-to-be-true Monoprice graphics tablets. How do they stack up to industry standard Wacoms?

After spending a week with the 6.25“x10” Monoprice, my Yiynova and Cintiq remain unplugged and I gave my Intuos away to a friend. The Monoprice tracks subtle pressure variances and small movements with less lag and more crisp fidelity than any of the others. It is, put crudely, fucking awesome, in both OSX Lion and Windows 7 x64.

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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thlaise + soulmates ? (that's such a Trope,,, sry)

pairing: blaise zabini x theodore nott

setting: modern, non-magical, soulmate au

who the fucking fuck are you, are the words that’ve been scrawled in impossibly elegant cursive onto the inside of Theo’s left wrist since the day he was born.

He has to wait twenty-three years to hear them spoken out loud.

“Who the fucking fuck are you,” the objectively hot guy in the elevator asks, gaze flicking down—just once—to the black leather cuff on Theo’s wrist.

It’s barely eight in the morning. Theo’s tie is loose around his neck, his glasses are on crooked, and his fingers are still stiff and slightly cramped from all the terrible, terrible intern code he’d had to fix the night before. It takes him a minute to register the guy’s question. And when he does—

Theo blinks.

And blinks.

And then lets himself look, really look, lets himself take in long legs and broad shoulders and high cheekbones and dark, molten-hot eyes, because—

“I’m your fucking soulmate, you dick,” Theo retorts.

The guy stares.

And stares.

“Nice,” the guy finally manages to croak before reaching out to press the STOP button.

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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hey, do you know any ron/draco fics? please & thank you :)

Hey there, yeah i use to read them back in the day, not so much now but have you read

A Soft spot for lost causes

Beg me for it

The Better Part of Valor

Office Space

Naked

Eight days a week

A different tune

Vanilla

The boy’s contagious

if we don’t kill each other first

Go the distance

Draco Malfoy and the office scandal

In my purpose bred

Fixed in a morning sun

Crown of rope

Paying a bribe

Ron Weasley and the forgotten boyfriend

Department of magical creatures case

And under everything, there has always been you

Out of the frying pan and into the fire

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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Do you have any fics where draco leaves the dark side for one reason or another and develops feelings for harry? Preferably in the medium-long range

Yup, can do fandomlybloggable! Enjoy and remember to leave love for the authors!

Drarry Recs: Draco Changes Sides

Allegiance and Sedition by SilentAuror - NC-17, 98.5k - The war is in its fifth year, and Harry finds himself caught up in the confusion of friend versus enemy, spy versus traitor.

And I Know the Spark by firethesound - NC-17, 15.5k - All Draco cares about is keeping Potter alive, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.

For All That Ails You by Frayach - NC-17, 17k - Voldemort forces Draco to drink a love potion so that he’ll fall in love with Harry, and he does - madly. But then Harry does too. When Hermione finds an antidote for the love potion, neither knows who loves who. But then along comes the anonymous poetry contest to save the day.

Brave New World by SilentAuror - NC-17, 22.5k - The first post-war Christmas is coming to Grimmauld Place. As the Order of the Phoenix ponders its future, Harry sorts through a maze of war records and quickly begins to see that not everything is as it should be..

Kailash, When it Rises by Mirabella - PG, 3.5k - Harry can’t sleep.

No Quiet Find by distempered/blithelybonney - NC-17, 10k - War makes a man tired…some more than most. Draco needs rest.

Not Through With You by dark0feenix - NC-17, 11k - Draco doesn’t remember, and Harry doesn’t let him forget.

Noticed Him Fading by marksykins - NC-17, 3.5k - Draco hates France, the Ministry, owls, and Harry Potter.

Paris by abbycadabra - R, 9k - “So you want us to keep running? To run and hide? Until when, Malfoy? Until they win or lose? Forever?”

Starts with a Spin by Maxine - M, 120k - It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there’s almost no way out again. Except to keep playing.

A Thousand Beautiful Things by Duinn Fionn - R, 11k - Draco Malfoy struggles with changed fortunes, shifted alliances, an ugly war, and an unusual spell, with the help of a concerned professor, an insightful house-elf, and an unexpected Gryffindor friend. (with sequel Delicate Sound of Thunder)

Under the Cold, Wan Moon by slytherincess - NC-17, 38.5k - He does not seek war, but when attacked he knows better how to die than surrender.

Walking the Line by SilentAuror - NC-17, 180.5k - Sixth year is over and Draco Malfoy is on the run. The war is on and an unwanted assignment is forced upon him by the only people he trusts - and a one-time arch-enemy just may be out to kill him.

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cleverlemon · 7 years ago

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Drarry Fic Rec Masterlist

I’ve been meaning to put this together properly for some time now, so finally, here is a list of my top Drarry fics. Definitely read through all the other works of these amazing writers. These are just my personal favourites. Enjoy! Hahahahah good luck ever doing anything else ever again.

First and foremost comes Saras_Girl like, I CAN’T EVEN. So, my top favourites of theirs:

Turn (E) The Foundations series GUHHH: Part 1: Reparations (E) Part 2: Foundations (E) Helix (E) Catfished (T) It Takes a Village (M) Salt on the Western Wind (M) All Life is Yours to Miss (M) (I don’t need to say anymore to pitch these. They are your bread and butter. READ THEM.)

Tales From the Special Branch by femmequixotic (E) When Gawain Robards asks him to form Special Branch seven-four-alpha, Harry Potter knows they’ll have to work outside the confines of the law–even though they are the law.

(Aurors!Harry and Draco, forbidden fruit, case fic, lots of excellent smut, incredibly complex and well-written plot. I can’t even with this fic it’s so freaking good. Most recent in the series has just started posting but each individual fic is brilliant stand-alone. MASTERFUL. And so satisfyingly long. They have so many great fics, go read them allllll!)

Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrimson (E) Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes.

(7th year AU. Really well developed and reworked to include Draco. One of my drarry firsts and an all-time love.)

Running on Air by eleventy7 (T) Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

(So, I’m not great at reading T-rated fics… I actually read this one by accident. I am so glad I did. Beautiful fic. Melancholy and lovely and just yes.)

Against All Odds by momatu (E) Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.

(Momatu really does their research and creates a vivid world with great development between Harry and Draco. Highly recommend trawling through their work and reading it all. Massive thanks to @siriusly-not-over-remus for reccing this to me!)

One Touch by Fleetofshippyships (M) An unexpected incident late one night sets off a series of events that could save one young man in desperate need of help, even if doing so may destroy the other.Harry commits an act of great violence, but doesn’t remember why. Malfoy urges him to run, and takes the blame instead. The most obvious explanation makes no sense, and it only gets more complicated from there.What follows is their struggle to trust and open up to one another while dealing with dangerous and invasive magic; when stepping wrong and losing control, even if only for a few moments, could have severe consequences for them both.

(8th year AU. Fantastic concept for plot and really well developed idea. Another one to absolutely check out a load of their work. I also highly recommend by them:

Restraint (E) Someone casts the Imperius curse on Draco Malfoy, and whatever the instructions may be, Harry finds himself an unwilling target. The encounter leaves him torn between pleasure and revulsion. As they fight in the aftermath, a tense game begins. Harry fights to convince Malfoy, and himself, that he was not affected by that initial encounter, or any of those following it. Faced with a series of escalating encounters, Harry must come to terms with desiring things he never thought he could, things he wishes he didn’t respond to. They each use signs of arousal as weapons against each other in a mad struggle to finally shame the other into backing down for good. But it’s only after the game is over that Harry starts to understand.

(8th year AU. Great angst and enemies to lovers progression. Drinking. Games. A hella lot of rough sex. This is a smuuuuut fic. I also helped beta this fic because it was so good and I couldn’t wait for updates.)

Balance, Imperfect by bixgirl1 (E) When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

(Auror!Harry, Physiotherapist!Draco. I totally got @sirussly to read this and she loved it, closet hardcore Drarry shipper right there. I LOVE @bixgirl1 I cannot explain. All the stuff by them is just fantastic. Especially: The Shape of the World (E) and: In Evidence of Magical Theory (E)

They are also in the middle of a collab with the wonderful @l0vegl0wsinthedark on a super cute and super smutty Virgin!Draco series on here (search either of their blogs under the ‘virgin draco’ tag.)

Speaking of! l0vegl0wsinthedark has a whole load of great fics (all the good smut). Absolutely worth working your way through it all!)

Draco Sodding Malfoy by Shewhxmustnxtbenamed (M) Harry finds Draco outside a pub and takes him back to his place, only to find out that Draco is in an abusive relationship. Harry invites Draco to stay until he can get back on his feet. They go to Draco’s ex-boyfriends house, and come back with more than they bargained for.

(So. Cute. Domestic bfs. Also very worth checking out @shewhomustnotbenamed and their drarry videos hallooooooo)

Azoth by zeitgeistic (E) Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care. (Hogwarts Apprentices!Drarry. Animagus magic. SO GOOD GUH. I really love the idea for Harry’s animagus and the progress is so excellent.)

Any Instrument by dicta_contrion (E) Draco Malfoy wouldn’t go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can’t control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

(MindHealer!Draco. THE BIG LEAGUES SO GOOD YES. Excuse me while I go read this again. OKAY BUT LOADS OF THEIR OTHER STUFF TOO ESPECIALLY:

The Vanishing Department (E) The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, even if that involves a lot more form-filling, bickering, covert glancing, miscommunication, and flying furniture than we might expect.

(Brilliant characterisation of Draco and really interesting idea. YES.)

House Proud by astolat (E) His house liked Draco Malfoy more than him.

(OKAY, I LOVE THIS. WIZARD HOUSES ARE THE SHIT AND THIS IS SO CLEVER YES. REALLY FREAKING GOOD BANTER BETWEEN HARRY AND DRACO. Also other stuff by them like:

NEWTS

“I’m twenty-eight!” Harry said. “I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?“ (Harry has to go back to Hogwarts before he can be promoted, Professor!Draco. Yisssssss.)

- Timeshare (BONDING FIC YES)

Eclipse by Mijan (T) Draco swore his revenge on Harry for Lucius’s imprisonment, and Harry all but laughed at him. But Draco is planning more than schoolyard pranks this time. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. It’s the perfect plan, guaranteeing revenge, power, and prestige, all in one blow. But when Draco’s world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins, and the battle will take them both through hell and back. If they come back. (6th year AU. Pre-HBP. Another accidental T read with 0 regrets. I LOVED this, SO MUCH.)

A Year In Training by Omi_Ohmy (M) Harry is finally living his dream and training as an Auror, but nothing seems to be going right: he’s just so angry all the time. And Draco Malfoy’s presence on the programme really isn’t helping with that, either.

(Aurors!Drarry: Harry’s pissed off Draco is better than him. I’m sure you can see where this goes…)

Eternally Consistent by kitsunealyc (E) Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter assumed they would never be anything but civil enemies, until Potter lands on Malfoy’s doorstep, bleeding, covered in curses, and acting very strangely indeed.

(Unspeakables!Harry&Draco: Nice swift enemies to lovers progression, goooood!)

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop (E) It’s Potter’s fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It’s been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco’s getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he’s falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

(Really nice development of Draco, and fun plot! Definitely worth going through their other works too, some really great stuff!)

Strangeness and Charm by FeelsForBreakfast (E) One November night during his eighth year at Hogwarts, Draco ends up in the forbidden forest. That’s how it starts. or: If two boys fall in love in a magical forest, does it still make a sound?

(8th year AU. Dreamlike and sweet. Check out their other works too. I especially recommend ‘Like Holly or Blood’ (M) and 'Open for Repairs’ (M).)

Strange Bedfellows by hurt_mod and ravenclawsquill (E) When Harry encounters a frail and fidgety Draco Malfoy at the Ministry, he just knows something is wrong and he’s determined to get to the bottom of it. A story about Deadly Nightshade, crippling insomnia, excellent wine … and finding what you need in the strangest of circumstances. (Addict!Draco. All the good angsttttt.)

Boom Clap (The Sound of my Heart) by femmequixotic and noeon (E) Post-war Hogwarts has been energized by its new teaching fellows program. Where once bitter enmity divided the wizarding community, Malfoy and Potter chummily patrol hallways together whilst Granger and Zabini seek lost parts of the castle at McGonagall’s behest and Chang supervises Quidditch when not lecturing in Charms. It’s a veritable wizarding utopia and life is predictable for the first time in years. Which is, of course, when everything blows apart as the result of a drunken dare and Malfoy’s life is ruined beyond his capacity to repair it. Ever. In a million years.

(TeachingFellows!Harry&Draco: Drinking games wohooooo!)

Lift Your Open Hand by firethesound (M) With Draco Malfoy as his assigned partner for the next six weeks of Auror training, Harry had been prepared for things to go poorly. But getting themselves accidentally bonded to each other in the first twenty minutes of their very first assignment seemed going above and beyond, even for them.

(Aurors!Drarry. Who doesn’t love a good magical bonding fic?? Lots of great works, also recommend:

A Convenient Impracticality (E) Somehow Harry ends up agreeing to a fake relationship with his ex-nemesis-turned-friendly-acquaintance-with-benefits, except for some reason it involves an awful lot of actual dating and, sadly, not much sex. Confused? Harry is too, but when has anything with Draco Malfoy ever been as straightforward as it seems?

(Aurors!Drarry, That good fake relationship trope. *thumbs up*) The Light More Beautiful (E) Thirteen years after Draco accepts Potter’s help escaping the horror of his sixth year, he returns to England where he makes the unfortunate discovery that Potter is still as obnoxious as ever. And worse, more than a decade overseas hasn’t been enough to dim Draco’s obsession with him.

(Sort of 6th year AU, then post-war Aurors!Drarry. Really interesting speciality for Draco and great development)

I will keep updating this as I remember more/find more great fics. If you have any requests for specific types of fic, hmu and I’ll see if I can help :)

Happy reading! <3

M x

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