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Billy’s Inner Frat Boy

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how do humans like it? 

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imagine getting married

after many months of planning, you’re standing at the altar with your significant other in a beautiful room filled with all of your friends and your family

and every single person in that room over age 10 knows you’re getting laid tonight

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“Anne Bonny and Mary Read were pirates, as renowned for their ruthlessness as for their gender, and during their short careers challenged the sailors’ adage that a woman’s presence on shipboard invites bad luck.”

Sculpture by Erik Christianson.

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can I just make money while watching netflix pls

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Inglewood, CA #BLACKLIVESMATTER

On Sunday, police responded to a call of a suspicious vehicle parked on Manchester Boulevard around 3:10 am. When police arrived, they engaged in a 45-minute long standoff before opening fire on the man and woman inside the vehicle, killing them both.

The woman was pronounced dead shortly after the shooting, and the man succumbed to his injuries after paramedics transported him to a local hospital.

The shooting seemed like an open and shut case until the next day. Mayor James Butts, while responding to questions about the shooting, opened up a huge can of worms — both the man and the woman were unconscious.

For at least 45 minutes, police attempted “to rouse” them in an effort “to de-escalate the situation,” said Butts.

After admitting that the couple was asleep, Butts quickly defended the officers, noting, “Obviously at some point they were conscious because somebody felt threatened.”

However, that notion has yet to be proven and is particularly unlikely due to the fact that not a single officer received so much as a scratch, nor did the couple have any reason to be violent.

Both of the victims were parents; Kisha Michael, 31, a single mother of three sons, and Marquintan Sandlin, 32, a single father of four daughters.

Families for both described them as devoted parents who made arrangements for care of their children while they took a night off.

“The police ain’t telling us nothing,” said Trisha Michael after being met with tight lips from the department.

“He was a loving father,” said Sandlin’s sister Leandra Faulkner.  “All he cared about was his girls, getting them right.”

According to his relatives, Sandlin had a ‘rough life’ but had turned it around and was working as a successful truck driver.

Sadly, these children will now grow up knowing that their parents were taken from them by cops, scared of a sleeping couple.

SOURCE

‘For at least 45 minutes the cops attempted “to rouse” them in an effort “to de-escalate the situation” said Butts.After admitting that the couple were asleep, Butts quickly defended the officers actions, noting, “Obviously at some point they were conscious because somebody felt threatened.“’

What the fuck, were they aggressively snoring? Who opens fire on someone they just spent 45 minutes trying to wake up? Great. Now I’ve heard it all. Cops are afraid of unconscious people. 45 minutes of de-escalation? Did it ever once occur that if you try to wake someone up in a car with loud noise and they don’t wake up, medical attention may be needed?

#KishaMichae #MarquintanSandlin #PoliceBrutality #Cops #KillerCops #America #BLACKLIVESMATTER

#StayWoke

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Deep in the oceans of the southern hemisphere exist 60-foot long tubular creatures that undulate through the water. They’re called pyrosomes. A pyrosome is actually a colony of zooids, a kind of marine invertebrates only about half an inch long.

A pyrosome colony is shaped like a giant tube, closed to a point on one end (this is the front end) and open on the other end (the back end), sometimes with a tail poking out. The walls of this tube are the colony — the individuals (clones) are embedded in a gelatinous material. Their mouths face outwards from the tube, giving them easy access to take in water. They pass that water through their “stomachs” to filter out anything edible, namely plankton, then squirt the filtered water out their other side into the space within the tube. 

This action of sucking in and spitting out water not only helps the colony keep its shape, it’s how the colony moves. This tube is constantly moving, albeit extremely slowly. So while they look completely terrifying, pyrosomes are innocuous and delicate; a gentle wave carries enough force to tear one apart. (Source)

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You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.

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My son, who is 4, and I were walking along the street today and saw a man with his left leg amputated beneath the knee. My son spun around and looked at him, then said to me, “That man lost his leg! What happened?”

I said I didn’t know exactly, but sometimes people lost arms or legs through accidents or didn’t have them for other reasons.

My son instantly said, “Gobber (from How to Train Your Dragon) lost his arm AND his leg and now he has to use tools in their places!”

I kind of collected my jaw and said, “That’s right, and that man is just like Gobber. There’s a special word we use for those kinds of tools. It’s ‘prosthetics’.”

“Prosthetics,” said my son, with satisfaction, and on we went without any further discussion about it.

But then we got on the bus, and there was a young black woman with her hair pulled back in a big floofy afro ponytail, and my son, who has seen the trailers for the new Annie movie, said, in delight, “She has hair like Annie’s!”

Representation matters.

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speaking of art history

this is Undine by Chauncey Bradley Ives. she’s at the Smithsonian.

and this is her from the back

that is marble, y’all. 

MARBLE.

carved so thin you can SEE THE LIGHT THROUGH IT.

i just.

wow.

fucking art, y’all.

fucking.

art.

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i bought some underwear from k-mart today and i kind of wish we had the dystopic k-marts you see in america

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Lewis Black has a message for millennials planning to sit out the presidential election.