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My Imperfection Opportunity

The silence of the waiting room made her blood cold as an autumn air that crept through a casement windows. For a minute she was blind and deaf. It was as if nature conspired to keep her in dark, not daring to whisper the reassurance she craves. The hurried footsteps and the squeak of a door brought her senses. She repeatedly uttered her orison and cheered for herself.

Once she stepped her feet on the platform, the silence laid on her skin like a poison. It seeped into her blood and paralyzed her brain. The crowd became dilated and there was a tremor in her hands. She knew her fears were useless so she did it instinctively trying to suppress for a few more moments. She drunk the silence to counteract the fear that threatens to engulf her. The words she kept long before flowed from her mouth. In a snap, she quickly forgotten her uncertenties and doubts. She embraced the listeners and made them engrossed to what she says as if they were hypnotized. She had made her declaration of love, the speech she had been rehearsing for a fortnight.

For some with speech impediment, speaking may require strenuous effort. She was brave to begin crawling out from under the rock that she was under. The feeling of really being heard and of seeing the positive reaction from the audience was a new and exciting thrill. Her incapability isn't imperfection but rather an opportunity to be quite different. Having it made her into a human being quite unlike others. She developed a deep inner sense of self and responsibility of the weight that her words carry. Maybe, she would be a different person if she didn't have to think before she spoke. Maybe she would say stupid things if she was more fluent. Maybe she would be another one of those people that just talks too much and says nothing. Maybe she would be one of those people that fly off the handle at the slightest provocation and yell for seemingly no reason. Certainly, that’s not the kind of person she would like to be. Because speaking was always difficult, she learned how to listen. Listening, that is something most other people in society have forgotten how to do, and we are all suffering from it.

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"Graduating with latin honors doesn't mean much. The process of becoming one is what counts."

Grades do matter. There may be flaws in many grading systems, but numbers do still hold value. It may be a tough truth to swallow, but we are only hurting ourselves if we pretend like grades don’t matter. Scholarship organizations look at grades and employers look at grades too.

Instead, you should think of grades more as a measurement of how much you tried. If you’re failing almost every class, there’s a strong chance you aren’t applying yourself and reaching your real potential. Everyone is capable of improving and getting high grades. It just a matter of how we make studying as a habit.

1. Get Organized.

Have a calendar and write down when assignments are due and make a study schedule with a place and time to study daily. It is very important that assignments and papers be handed in on time.

2. Attend classes.

It is extremely important that we to our classes and take advantage of all the material presented there. The professors bring many examples from their experience in the field that we won’t find in any textbooks alone.

3. Avoid procrastination.

Set deadlines and stick to them. Don’t leave things until the last moment. This will only create more tension and affect the quality of our work negatively. We are hold accountable for our actions so we must do what needs to be done first.

4. Take time to relax and enjoy life.

Make time out of busy schedule to spend with our love ones and do the things we enjoy doing. After all, “success is a journey not a destination.” We want to make sure we also enjoy that journey along the way.

5. Attitude is very important in all we do.

Let's make sure we always try to have a positive attitude. “Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible.” The more we put into our education and expect out of life, the more we will get out of it!

If we obsess about our grades we will miss what Education offers us, that is, opportunity to interact with others and to learn about the world. My cousin who graduated cum laude at Batangas State University told me that she studied hard because she was driven by her dreams not by medals and trinklets. Grades are just numbers. They don't make the person - knowledge, however, is what we should seek. Nevertheless, graduating with latin honors does help in getting a job later on. So don't let your academics slip either. With that being said, obviously a headhunter would prefer a candidate with latin honors over someone with mediocre grades.

Grades don’t define you. Those numbers on your transcripts aren’t labels on your forehead. You are so much more.

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Physical Self

"Next time you think of beautiful things, don't forget to count yourself in"

As uncomfortable as it may be, we are under the microscope every day. It is easy to create mental prototype through basing something on physical attributes. Physical appearance is the part that everyone sees first and off that they make their judgments and opinions of who you are. Just from the first look, we may give off to the way we dress, the bag we carry, and the way we present ourselves.

The real issue is people can not let any one put limitations on us or let anyone define. Beauty goes deeper than just what is on the outer surface. External appearance can not make a person. A person with a bad appearance can be a great person. All people are born equal regardless of our outer appearance. Which means all people should create a positive judgment when judging the external and internal features of a person accurately.

Do you have eyes that allow you to see? A mind that allows you to evaluate? A nose that allows you to breathe? Legs that walk where you tell them? Skin that feels touch? A heart that beats? Look at your body from a fair perspective, not through the judgments made by the people around you.

So start to accept your shape, your irregularities, your contours, and your size. You are more then just the container that holds you; you are also your thoughts, ideas, and emotions.

Sexual Self

...when you reduce life to black and white you will never see rainbows!

The value system that I was raised under was very strict. I was brought up in a conservative household, where I was not allowed to do several of the things that others were doing. I was not allowed to be alone in the room with the opposite sex after I reached an age of 12, except my father and my younger brother. My maternal relatives are also active in church activities so during Sundays we all go to church. I grew up with higher level of religious commitment and was active in joining religious services.

In present time, homosexuality is condemned and sex without marriage is being frowned upon, I, a heterosexual, choose to stand with them. I have few gay friends and bisexual cousins, but I do not treat them as sin nor see them as enemies. I am aware of the immense hate, disapproval, and condemnation they are getting and I want to be one of the 'few' who accept them. I believe the law of Jesus is Love. I believe love is a choice one makes that allows us to see each other as humans who are to be treated with dignity and respect.

Love allows me to see them as myself and want for them what I want for myself. Love does not mean we agree, but rather that we respect one another in our disagreements. Love says I will honor and respect you, care for you, look after you, protect you even when I fully disagree with you.

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Political Self

School life is not all about academics, games, friends and fun. In fact it is also about learning to interact with other people, being aware of the social issues and inequities and learning to amend the deformities present in our society. As a mere college student, I start doing it by taking small effort that will eventually create a big impact. Making a difference doesn't mean doing something that's going to change the world. However, I believe I can do things that make a difference to myself, to my family, to my friends, and to my community. One of the ways in which I think I am able to serve the country is to apply myself scrupulously to my studies. I come to school with an aim, that is, to be trained to become a teacher. So that my future is secured and I have a lot of things to offer for my country. It means, therefore, that the limited amount of time we have to spend in school, let us not spend it destructively in the idle dalliance. Let us spend it constructively to plant rich seeds to blossom and bear fruit in the future. Moreover, to serve our country we must associate ourselves with the numerous and various social and cultural organizations whereby we can have the opportunity to learn more. In this way we shall be more active and know the facts of life and the needs of our country. And these are the essentials in nation building.

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Self-care & Stress Management Plan

One of the most interesting stages in life that gives an opportunity to explore is the ‘college phase.’ Life at college is the time when the teenage years end and we all dive deep into the ocean of new beginnings and possibilities. Aside from it, it is also a time of extreme stress due to societal and parental pressures. We have expectations that we live up to in order to fulfill and satisfy the needs of both our parents and society. With such high expectations to do well during college, we become sleep deprived, which impairs mental capacity, but sleep deprivation is only one of a vast array of symptoms. The stress in college is that we have too much on our plates. We have to face too many things so the 24 hours in each day are no longer enough for us.

In order to keep up with the heavy loads of school works, time management and meditation is necessary to surpass the high demands of the environment.

Good time management skills help me prioritize tasks so I can able to complete school work and assignments on time. I can able to plan ahead, set aside the time I need for projects and assignments, and make better use of that time. Becoming better at managing time allows me to become more organized, more confident, and learn more effectively. It can also help me avoid the dreaded procrastination problem, which can be a slippery slope to stress, frustration, and poor grades. I have to learn effective time management because my learning environment is demanding for greater efforts and greater outcome. By doing one at a time, I can be more at peace if I think about what I have accomplished rather than what I have not yet done.

Regular practicing meditation is one of the best ways to manage the stress. While some stress is healthy and occasional, short bouts are okay, but the amount of stress that some students, including me, experience on a regular basis is not healthy.

Meditation is worth a try during "hell weeks" or the period of cramming, especially for the mental break it offers. Taking the time to focus on something besides impending exams, projects, and presentations, even for just a few minutes, can help rejuvenate my mind and ease all my worries.

For me, stress is a constant struggle for everyone who is trying desperately to make him or herself into a success. And every college student wants to be involved with something in order to further their education. The struggle consists of demands on time, financial pressures, parental pressure, interpersonal conflicts, managing freedom, peer and academic pressure. Two techniques that I use to cope with stress are practicing building time-management skills, and regularly practicing meditation. By using these techniques, I am able to lower my stress that I have from homework, socializing, and the newfound responsibilities I have gained since attending college.

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Online vs Offline Self: WHO IS THE REAL YOU?

The vast majority of us care about what others perceive us. Most of us are inclined to have others see us in a positive light. We seek validation from others. In accordance to Abraham Moslow's Hierarchy of Needs, he refers to the essential needs for recognition and approval. This also is confirmed by my observations that we want others to see us in the most positive way. In regards to the digital self, we now have an opportunity to amplify our positive traits, especially if we regard ourselves as 'average' and are concerned with rejection. Digital technology and the internet seem to provide us with a way to cover up our flaws and imperfections that we never could before. This includes anything from using photoshop to edit our pictures, to lying about our real identity to acting with an inflated sense of self-importance while in a cyberspace. More and more, the gap between our “real self” and “digital self” seems to be growing greater and greater.

Platforms such as Facebook allow us to stay connected to important others and actually many others. We also keep tally of “likes” and “dislikes” and anticipate much more of positive responses. Personally, I use a lot of social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and a lot more. But I rarely post on the said platforms. I don't like sharing much, even a bit, of my personal details or happenings in my life. Aside from I use them for accessing quality information and get the news and happenings in just a click, they also bridges the gap and keep me in touch with my family, friends, and relatives.

In conclusion, the digital world has provided us with greater opportunities. We use it for communication, for amusement, to seek opportunities, to keep us updated, and even expressing our Identity in any form we want to. The rise of social media has not only given rise to good things but has also created quite a few damaging ones to our physical self. Many young people today find themselves creating two completely different personas: one for online, one for off. We should all be authentic and embrace our inherent awesomeness. It is authenticity that most attracts us to others; when we see someone’s true self, we connect to them in a way that is deeper than superficial admiration we get online.

Social Self: Why We Shouldn't Let Society Label Us

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Due to drastic influence of society has on us, sometimes we lack of individuality in our lives. We don't really know who we are because of how much society has impacted us. I have my own experience on how society does this and why do I feel the need to fit into it.

"You shouldn't wear high heels because you're already really tall, you're going to make everyone else look so short." I am constantly reminded whenever I attempt to wear heels during special occasions because of my height. Now, I began to feel uncomfortable being tall and I started to do and wear things that prevented me from looking any taller than I already am including wearing heels. I let other people impact how I felt about myself and make me feel awkward about something that I can´t help. I was unknowingly lowering my own confidence so that everyone else around me could be comfortable.

I realize that we cannot completely be ourselves in this world without upsetting some people. That brought me from the idea that society's influence hinders us from being our true selves. Whether we realize it or not we are always trying to get the approval of others. We long for acceptance from others before we understand it within ourselves. We are constantly and unconsciously trying to please others. We all try to fit into the norms of society in order to seek approval from others. We prioritize fitting in and conformity over self-love, acceptance and individuality.

We let society pick our identities apart and tell us that we aren't normal, beautiful, or amazing when we shouldn´t. Go against the ordinary and do as you please. You are the only one who lives your life so it's not fair for you to not be the person you want to be and are supposed to be. Be yourself and love yourself.

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Materialism: A Bought Self-image

I believe that we are all materialists, to one extent or another.  We all use and enjoy material goods in our daily lives, and most of us simply couldn't get by without them. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as the desire for material goods doesn't control us and our actions. Materialism becomes an obstacle when we start allowing things or our desire for things to dominate our being, to keep us focused on things outside ourselves rather than on things that would be truly beneficial to us, such as our spiritual development, our relationships, our learning, our peace of mind, etc.

We each have our own characteristics, interests, values, and we all look forward to progress and grow in these respectively. This will draw us to certain kinds and quantities of possesions. Personally, I love reading books so whenever I have done or accomplished something, I like to reward myself a book. However, there are times we try to turn the table. We acquire things in order to build the kind of identity we want to have. We often set our sights on some material products, thinking that we would be so much happier if we had it.  It gives us a fleeting satisfaction but sometimes after the newness has worn off, a great sense of regret will follow, that we've bought something that we didn't use nearly as much as we thought we did. We consume unnecessary things to show off, to show our socio-economic status or how cultured we are because we are in the hope of achieving social validation.

"It is fine to express ourselves through our possessions, but not to acquire an identity by acquiring things. We should not try to create a desired image of ourselves in possessions but should simply allow the things we have to reflect who we are." - shrink and sage

Now I have my own strategy for determining whether I truly need something, or if this something is simply appealing to my desire for material goods.  I wait to buy things that aren't essential—impulsive buying can build up very quickly.  If I truly need it, I couldn’t last a week without it.  If not, the urge to buy it usually will fade quickly.

Environmental influences drastically impacted my spirituality. Before, when problems arise, I would usually commune with nature to seek refuge and pray. Watching the waves and listening to the waters in the beach. Just by appreciating God’s handwork is enough for me to see life much better amidst the bliss I get in temporary things I consume. He has provided us with the necessity to live but we always ask for more that we have come to abuse these resources for our personal gains. I was so caught up in attaining my personal desires and often too distracted by tangible things that I sometimes forget He exists. The best thing is that I live on my faith each day. At times I fail but I move on and try again.  

Without a doubt, we would all agree with the sentiment; “There’s more to life than things.” Yet much of our lives seem to be spent in the acquisition and disposal of material goods. The truly important things of life, however, are those which cannot be encountered by the physical senses or purchased with money. For me the foremost on my list of priorities are my family, friends, health, peace, contentment, laughter, education and communion with God.

Ultimately, it’s all about making the shift from chasing to enjoying, from thinking to experiencing, from getting to giving, from desiring to  appreciating, from external to internal, from having to being.

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Discovering Commonalities

When I was in high school, I was always the quiet one. My best friends were loud and rambunctious—full of energy and spunk. While I loved being around them, I never could replicate their open enthusiasm, no matter how much I tried. I stayed silent in group conversations, rarely raised my hand in class, and never talked to my teachers. I had only a small group of close friends with whom I enjoyed hanging out. And there were many times when I would choose to watch a movie with my parents instead of going to a party.

 Yes, I’m an introvert, and a shy one. There’s no questioning that. When I went to my first class as a college student, it terrified me. I am in a new environment, new set up, and I knew no one. I had no idea what my professor was going to be like, who I might be sitting next to, and how I would ever get the courage to open my mouth. For me, even making friends with my block mates was a step out of my comfort zone. So I couldn’t imagine how I would fit into the college experience. I was worried about how my introversion would affect my experience—especially knowing that a good part of college requires talking to people. And talking to people was never my favorite thing to do. But I wanted to get the most out of college, which meant that I had to do things I didn’t necessarily like doing. I had to challenge myself. My introversion needed to be something I could work with, not something that held me back.

 The start of new academic year tends to be highly ritualized affair, from introduce-yourself to the class, icebreakers, and down to the syllabi distributions in individual classrooms. It was a rush of people, names, places, events, and feelings. During my first day, I didn’t talk to my classmates much, and purposefully took less traveled routes around the campus. It was a usual first day of school. The professors asked us to introduce ourselves and share some interesting stuff about ourselves. But far from the usual, we had a different icebreaker in our Understanding the Self course. The professor instructed us to get a sheet of paper, roam around the four corners of the room, and find commonalities with others. We should get a sign from 30 people and we have to make sure we can remember their faces and names. We were told to mingle, my worst nightmare. A huge group of people and nothing but the vague order to “mingle.”

Everyone seemed to be gearing up and starting the activity. Laughter and mundane ringing over the room like a warning bell. I stood in the corner nibbling a pastry anxiously, watching everyone else pull off the task without a second thought and hesitations. I was feeling as though I had made a big mistake until it sunk in; I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by getting out of the corner. I walked up to the first person I clapped eyes on. At first, it was quite awkward to ask a random person but little did I know, I started enjoying the activity. It was fun to discover that I am sharing the same interests with these people. In the midst of the activity, I completely forgot about the task. I was just having fun talking with them. I didn’t mind getting 30 people who can sign on my paper.

Later on I realized that the number of people who signed your paper doesn’t matter at all. Forming relationship with my classmates is not fairly easy and quick, it will not happen in the span of an hour. I know in the long run, we will build a bond as we further discover more of each other. Throughout college we will be faced with differences in opinions, approaches, or needs, but we can withstand all of them if we have built understanding and a stronger relationship.

If you’re like me, you would rather have fewer friends with stronger bonds than run with a big crowd anyway. Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed to the point of withdrawing, remember you do have something in common with these people, you all fell in love with the same school and you know no one!

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"Live your values, pursue your dreams, and follow your passion."

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams, and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies to achieve those dreams.

"The chance to inspire another human being is not a challenge it’s an opportunity."

I dream of becoming a teacher and my choice was not made lightly.This decision was a culmination of a process of reflection about what I wanted to do with my life.  I have chosen a career in education because I believe that it is one of the most important functions performed in our society. Within the process of teaching, I hope to find both personal and professional renewal. I want to be a part of a noble profession with the hope of one day being counted among those in whom students find inspiration.

College is my first step to achieve this. Currently, I am a first year college student. I do my best to keep my grades up because I know that they will help me in the long run. I can picture myself four years from now, in a school located in a rural setting, teaching a classroom of diverse yet alike students. I plan to work at a low-income school similar to the one I attended. I also plan to get masters and doctorate degree because I believe that education doesn't stop the moment we graduate from college. By the time I get these degrees, I will be around 30s, so I hope that it will all be worth it.

“Travel while you’re young and able."

This quote really rings home. Life is too short to not travel and the world is too large to not want to travel. We ought to spend our money on experiences such as travel instead of things. Experiences can offer a life time of gratifying memoirs. The things we obtain in life, in the other instance, rapidly become familiar and forgotten to us.

When I was younger, my family didn’t travel a lot. We didn’t have a lot of money, and travel wasn’t something that was a priority for us. It’s not that we didn’t spend time together or go on a vacation. We did. But our travels consisted mainly of heading out of town. I never flew on a plane or saw the ocean from up there but I had a wonderful childhood. I didn't understand why would somebody spend money for traveling instead of saving?

My biggest dream vacation is a family trip to South Korea, especially in their capital city 서울(Seoul). Since I was little I’m a fan of Korea. I’ve been watching many Korean dramas and movies while growing up. And I know my parents are sick of the tropical weather so I want to bring them somewhere cold.

Next stop is Australia, my dream destination. I am sure we all have a place that we want to visit more than any other place in the world. Australia has always been that place for me. When I began watching Neighbours and Home and Away, 2 Australian soap operas, I guess after watching them I was hooked on the destination. I began researching adventures and places to visit there and have never stopped. Whether it be swimming or surfing along the seaside, or on a walk over the Sydney Harbour bridge, there are so many different places to visit, coast to coast and in between for an Australian adventure.

I think the exposure to new places and new people can be really reviving personally and also eye opening to see how other people live. To see how life functions, whether human or natural life, in other places is really humbling. It reminds that one's life isn't the only one he/she could live.There are no limits in the grand scheme of things except the ones we create for ourselves.

"A house is built with walls and beams, a home is built with love and dreams."

As I walk along the seemingly endless path, I see my dream house at the end. As I approach it, I see a simple, yet elegant structure. My dream house would be simple but in another manner. I want it to have an appeal like a rainbow that makes you stop and stare at it. It's located exactly where I am living now, in Batangas. Not in a crowded city because I prefer to live in the countryside. This is the place that I feel absolute freedom and this is probably because of the good vibrations that exist there. The surroundings of my dream house will have many trees and flowers that make fresh air. It will have a wide space for our garden because my mom loves to plant outdoor plants. So everytime I look out in my terrace, I can feel the serenity and tranquility that makes me want to stay there in my entire life.

1. SET GOALS

Living without direction can be fun in the short term, but as human beings, we are always in need of direction and purpose. If we don't have a goal, it makes it easy for us to follow others, we become manipulated in to doing things that we are told would be good for us. Eventually it all leads to frustration and unhappiness. You’ll be much happier following your own desires and beating out your own path in pursuing your dreams.

2. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Outside your routine are acres of diamonds, amazing people, opportunities, ideas, inspiration and miracles. When I decided to study here in PNU Manila, I knew I will sacrifice a lot. I'm away from my family, I knew no one except my two cousins who were alumni of this school. I'm seeing new faces, new environment, new culture, and new home. When we want to achieve our dreams, it’s important to adapt the healthy mindset of embracing the hardships, rather than running away from it. I know my journey isn't going to be smooth but I know the great opportunities are waiting me ahead.

It may seem risky but I know that magic happens outside our comfort zone. 

3. Don’t let your fears hold you back.

I’m afraid of the challenges that await me, but a bigger part of me is more curious than scared. First term hasn't ended yet but the load of school works feels like I'm in the last semester already, kidding. When I got admitted to PNU, my cousins already forewarned me about the possibilities that I may encounter as a PNUAN. There were seldom times I doubted myself and thought of transferring to other school. But I realized, we all have our own challenges to face. But we don’t have to face them alone. With a caring heart and encouraging hand of my parents, relatives, friends, and educators, I know I can make it.

Self-doubt is a battle that is commonly fought behind closed doors. Success is glamorous and usually the end product of what we strive for, but it’s crucial to understand that setbacks, disappointments, and letdowns cannot be eliminated from making your dreams a reality.

4. Water your most fulfilling dreams.

I have before me a roadmap to start achieving the things I never thought possible. Success begets success. Trust in the process and I know I will get to those dreams I've planned out.

Instead of planting too many seeds of dreams that are least important, I'll start watering the dreams that make me the happiest and make my heart melts. My dreams of success are within walking distance. It’s not a matter of sprinting, or taking long strides to get there quickly. It’s about taking small steps to get where I'm going. 

I believe I can and I must let my true self shine through.

Pro-Tip: Self-Efficacy

Our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves have a profound impact on our actual capabilities. And it’s not just fiction that’s backing up this idea. Self efficacy was introduced by renowned psychologist Albert Bandura in 1977. It is defined as “one’s belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task.”

Life is filled with challenges and how you deal with them depends on your beliefs about yourself. Self efficacy, or your belief in your abilities to succeed in specific situations, plays a huge role in whether or not you reach your goals in life. 

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Utopia

I love the concept of a personal “happy place” — somewhere you can escape the stress and constraints of everyday life and feel completely at ease. A place you go to be fully present with yourself, and you can savor the experience.

If I were to create something that will make my life easier, I will create a place of happiness. A place without greed, hunger, thirst, violence, but with subtle pains that make our happy moments even more valuable and precious. A place where people are not afraid of love and are very welcoming no matter who we are. A place where numbers don’t define us, and where everyone is free to roam without holding a mask in front of his or her face, a place where there is acceptance. A place where sicknesses are cured by love and the desire to live.

But come to think of it, if this place will really exist, a place where problems don't exist? that would deprive us of our bests. A place with no development doesn't sound good. Contention leads to complacency. Complacency leads to stagnation, with stagnation there is no development. The conflict that comes from an imperfect world makes it better. But a place should have a certain amount of inequality to make things interesting, but not a staggering amount to where people suffer because of it.

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What's the thing in my bag that I treasure the most?

I'm sentimental about all sorts of things, but not inanimate objects. I've gone through losing everything I owned except the clothes I was wearing. There's this quote from a book I've read a year ago called White Oleander, the author wants to hold onto object as a proxy for holding onto memories.

So that leaves me with what's useful, and that's my phone. It's useful in a way that is profound. It's the thing I leave on all night so that anyone I love can reach me at all hours. It's the thing that let me hear their beautiful voices even if they live in another place. It holds thousands of photos and videos that let me reminisce the past. I could read my favorite downloaded books on it while I lie in bed, my head under covers, and read long after I should have gone to sleep. A phone was that thing that let me stay connected to my family and friends.