clairebear0724

[clairebear0724]

Grand rising all! Here’s another picture/aesthetic/whatever I made about a week ago just getting the hang of things :) Anyways what I really wanted to address was my little hiatus. I realized I started this blog in hopes of me filling some mental void or gain quick validation from an audience I don’t even have. During this absence I moved twice and developed some spiritual growth. I’ve learned to address problems as they are instead of run from them. One of the hardest things I’ve learned is that my communication is NOT on point. Just because my communication style is different from another individual doesn’t make me any better than them. We all come from different backgrounds and learned how to grow from a different point of view, and that’s perfectly fine. What’s not fine is staying stagnant or stuck and blaming it on others. I’ve learned that if you’re uncomfortable and you know in your gut that change needs to take place, then take accountability for yourself and CHANGE. Of course it’s easier said than done, but only you can make the first move. No one is going to make that change for you. So with that said, I like who I’m becoming. Change is not easy, but it’s definitely worth seeing yourself glow :)

[clairebear0724]

So I signed up with the video/photo editing platform, Canva, and I recreated this picture I found on Google with their free version. I figure this picture is appropriate for today seeing as it’s the start of Scorpio Season. I’m not a professional editor and I have no background in photography or digital art. I’m just playing around and having fun. Enjoy :)

[clairebear0724]

Life As We Know It

One thing I've realised so far is that life has just slowed tf down for me. It's a bit scary because I'm seeing clearer and clearer everyday. Life doesn't suck, it will test me for sure but it doesn't mean life is shit. I was put on this planet to survive, to influence and to protect and I'll do just that. 2019 may or may not have my back but I know the universe is on my side.

[clairebear0724]

Another day, another seizure.. long story short, on Saturday I had a seizure casually walking to the car to leave with my bf. I asked him what happened after we got back upstairs and he told me he knew once I stopped walking and responding to him. I felt pain on my ankle and when I looked I'm just thinking, WTF. I was going on a week seizure free and I'm just so bummed. I know its always bound to happen but it just sucks that's all. I honestly think that was a breakthrough seizure since I'm decreasing one of my meds. I do feel better now that I'm back to one medication instead of 3 👍

[clairebear0724]

Things I Ramble About #6

Ok so here's the thing, I've been working with my job on disability and how I don't know if I'll have to quit or if they'll give me leave since I'm part time right. AND on top of that my boss is hiring already. The government is now shut down simply because this stupid mother fucker likes to act like a 2 year old. But you know us working class, 20 something year old, epileptic, part time employee peasants don't matter because we're not rich. Its irritating that this is nothing new.

[clairebear0724]

This "shutdown" is a joke

Me: *filled out all the paperwork and waiting for EDD letter in the mail

Tiny Hands: I'm going to shut down the government. It sounds cool. What could happen?

Me: great now my disability is on hold and I keep having seizures at work

[clairebear0724]

This is something I (and a million other people) struggle with daily. There’s constant set backs and road blocks but you can’t help what you can’t control. If you have people in your life that think you’re “lazy” or “slow” at simple tasks, then fuck you too, I don’t need your energy in my life. 

Your disability/illness/disorder is NOT “an excuse”, it’s a reality. Having limitations does not make you lazy. You should never feel guilty because you have limitations.

[clairebear0724]

Things I Ramble About #5

Ok so just like a million other people starting a youtube channel, Ima go for it. I mean why not? Maybe other people can relate to me? Or maybe I’m so strange people will watch me put a camera in my face just for shits and giggles. I’ll try. Not anytime soon though. Like, I still have to figure out editing and uploading and etc etc all that jazz. Wish me luck on my endeavours.  

[clairebear0724]

My Sickness So Far

Regarding my cold, I'm just thankful that it's not bronchitis like last year. Before that I've never had the flu or any sort of crazy stuff that others get, only colds. With that said I'm now experiencing the nasty cough and sleepiness. Next, I know the runny nose is coming. I'm wishing for a fast recovery. Crossing my fingers 🤞🙏

[clairebear0724]

Seizures Don't Stop For Christmas

They really don't. I'm just happy it wasn't violent and close to the time we were going to leave anyway. Regardless of that, my seizures don't stop me from life.

[clairebear0724]

Rid your mind of negative thoughts and energies. Replace them with positive, warm vibes that radiates like the sun. Once you've mastered that, then you're finally at peace. 🙏✌🙇‍♀️

[clairebear0724]

You don’t realize how much bullshit the news says until they talk about something you know a lot about

[clairebear0724]

Welp.

I think I'm getting a cold. Fuck.

[clairebear0724]

Don't allow yourself to get lost. We must ground ourselves, love ourselves, and believe in ourselves.

Art by Maria Johnston

[clairebear0724]

Things I Ramble About #4

As I'm waiting for the bus I notice people are staring at me as they drive by. Then I forgot that I'm in business attire aka my work clothes. I mean, just because I'm dressed in slacks doesn't mean I'm rich or it's assumed that I drive a car. And then it popped in my head, why do I care? I dgaf about other people and it's no ones business what kind of transportation I use. So with that said, back off. Don't you have something else to worry about besides a woman minding her own business? 🖕🤷‍♀️

[clairebear0724]

Seizures Don't Stop For Work.

When you have a tiny focal seizure at work and everyone freaks out so they tell you to go home even when you're capable to continue working... well maybe I'm just a savage? 🤷‍♀️

[clairebear0724]

What I Like

I love seeing people I know succeed. I mean think about it. They're living happier because of their hard earned success. Root for that person. Especially if they deserve it.