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[ciitreae]

unemployment help (cov-19)—

howdy, yall. so i’ve been pretty quiet about it because the CARES stimulus check i got carried me a long way, but i’m finally down to the wire with what i have left, and uh. my work schedule, typically 40+ hours a week, has fallen to below 20. we’ve all been told we could file unemployment, of course, but here’s what’s been going on with unemployment.

which translates to, not a fuckin’ thing, my guy. apparently this has been going on with all of my coworkers and more people in ohio, where our overall application is approved but all claims are being denied. no one can get through on the phone, unemployment isn’t sending e-mails or letters, so no one knows what’s going on! and for people in my situation, since the application is ‘approved’ in the system, this disqualifies us for the federal benefit program, too!

so i’m utterly screwed right now. i went from making around $1400 a month to just around $600—and the new month is coming up, and my rent is $545. there’s also the gas/electric and internet, which total around $120, meaning i’m going to be in the hole. don’t even wanna think about food or affording my medication, lmao, because right now i’ve only stuck it out thanks to the generosity of a couple of friends, and it looks like generosity is mostly what i’ve got to go on.

so, the inevitable blah-blah-blah: if anyone is willing and able to spare any funds to help me keep myself afloat, i’d really, really appreciate it. linkage:

paypal | ko-fi | cashapp | venmo

and thank you for your consideration. please reblog!

[ciitreae]

                            besides you already know how much ass i can kick.

                                       indie multi ft. tifa lockhart from ffvii ©

[ciitreae]

contrary to popular belief, sephiroth’s eyes are not ‘cat eyes’ all the time, and in fact, the occurrence of the phenomenon is fairly rare—it is almost 100% certain that if you see sephiroth’s pupils contract into slits, something has triggered his conditioning and he is not himself. this was most often witnessed during the wutai war and is extremely rare to encounter these days, though it might surface from time to time under extreme psychological duress.

however, otherwise, sephiroth’s pupils do dilate and contract rather easily, and one may find that paying attention to this detail will serve them better in understanding the general rather than trying to get a read on his body language or tone.

[ciitreae]

hi folks, i dont want to make a post like this but i’m extremely stressed. my dad stole 300 dollars from me that i cant get back as he put it in his bank and upon calling the bank, i see that he’s spent it. now, i dont need the full 300 back (though i would certainly fucking like it as i’m fucking enraged), but i need half of it (150) back to make sure that i dont bounce, as i ordered some essentials off of amazon (dog food, a new keyboard as the cord on mine finally broke, hair care items as testosterone is giving me serious scalp issues, etc) and was incorrectly refunded money, and am afraid my bank is going to fuck around and make me bounce.  i just want to have enough in my bank to make absolutely sure i do not bounce from amazon’s pricing mistakes. 

if you can at all afford to help me, my paypal is hghars@aol.com, and i have a cashapp if its more convenient. normally i would offer art in return for assistance, but my artistic muse is exceptionally low at the moment and i’m afraid all i would produce would be garbage and insulting. 

if you can’t afford to help me, it is no biggie, but i sincerely appreciate a reblog. thank you so much.

[ciitreae]

kychchc‌:

Oh, she remembers how it felt to be in the care of another, being properly educated in regards to matters of carnality. Her own first experience was a rushed affair, a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am that had left her  with mixed feelings on the subject. Was he aware of how much of herself she saw in him in the moment? Probably not; with the additional difficulties he was surely coping with thanks to his upbringing being such an isolated and sterile thing. The lack of outside examples, inaccurate as they may have been in places, put him at a further disadvantage. Even as she offered him a reassuring smile, her mind was firm in its resolve.

She would not follow in the mistakes that her first lover had made.

“No need to apologize. I just wanted to know, for sure, where the lines were. Consent matters, and if there’s a point at all where you want me to stop, say so. I won’t get upset. Okay?”

As she awaited his response to that question, her fingers splayed apart, allowing his own to fall between them before she was gently grasping them as best as she could from that angle. Impulsively, she lifted their joined hands, her lips lightly pressing to the back of his hand. So what if it was usually something a man would do? Affection was affection, and she got the feeling he needed every example she could grant him. And when he stated his first request?

“Kya… alright.”

The hand not holding his moved to gently cradle Sephiroth’s cheek, her thumb gently stroking along his skin–and as she leaned in a little, she used that touch to draw him in closer so he would meet her halfway. Her lips were gentle, careful in that initial contact against his own, just barely a peck–and provided he reacted positively to that, she would carefully guide him deeper into his first embrace, that hand sliding back to gently cradle the base of his neck.

his answer is a nod, a gesture he hopes is as firm as she seems to require it to be; he understands that, at the very least, that this is something so intimate it borders on sacred to some, and that he cannot enter into it without all the trust it truly requires. and perhaps some thought in his head wonders that he could ever trust a shin-ra executive at all, while another calms that doubt with the assurance that here, that is not what she is, as much as he is not SOLDIER, not now.

that she is only scarlet, and he is only sephiroth, and they are only together.

he watches, very carefully, seeing everything just slightly slower than it happens. the reassurance of her fingers folding with his, and the softness of her lips across his knuckles, the way all her sharp edges seem to have disappeared and become rounder and lovelier. maybe this is easier than he had imagined. maybe the warmth that meets her hand touching his face isn't unpleasant, and maybe her wordless instruction is easy to follow.

sephiroth didn't think it would be like this; a gentle thing, a sweet taste he doesn't recognize upon her mouth but which nonetheless appeals and asks that he define it better, or so he hopes. it seems so clear by her touch, doesn't it, and should he respond in kind? no one's done that, pulled him close like that in a way that he thinks means more—he squeezes her other hand as gently as he can manage. there is more. he knows that, at least, and the something-creeping very welcome up his spine grants her permission to show him, and seems to insist that they’re supposed to be closer than this.

[ciitreae]

coscuvilheiro·:

it was the answer he expected, but hearing it still felt smothering, a heavy weight upon the shoulders he was trying to keep straight. his face drops as he watches sephiroth process what little he’d been told, and it takes running a hand over it to regain his composure, lack of rest catching up on him.

“… i don’t know the exact details of what happened on that mission, only the broad strokes told to me by someone who’d been there.”

eyes that wandered find rest on sephiroth again, and it truly feels like a joke was being played on him, anguish creeping up on him at the thought of all that he had to say. it had always been a little hard to believe that the sephiroth he knew would ever have gone through with anything strife had said but…

he’d read the reports with his own eyes, he’d seen the afterimage of the man they chased to combat a world wide crisis twice.

having sephiroth here, as he once was, rational, hesitant, human – it was just cruel.

a chair he’d brought in from the kitchen to watch over the other is dragged over, and kunsel sits down, not quite facing sephiroth, focusing instead on his hands as he thinks things over. the truth will come out eventually, there is no denying that, but he can’t just barrage the man with every sin he’d committed immediately.

it would be needlessly, relentlessly sadistic, fit for someone who held a grudge against him. but kunsel didn’t. perhaps if he had been there it would be different… but he wasn’t. and what reason does sephiroth have to immediately trust everything kunsel says? kunsel has to start small, with things he can prove, and work up from there.

“the mission went south, and everyone that went on it was declared dead. nibelheim was completely taken over by shinra, and professor hojo moved stations there for the next four years.” kunsel’s head tilts to the side, wondering if sephiroth would guess that yet again, being set as ‘killed in action’ was only an attempt at covering their tracks. “but you weren’t really dead. at least two of you survived, you were just…”

in nibelheim, under hojo’s ministrations, his new pet project. and kunsel knew. and he couldn’t do anything about it. with his elbows on his knees, kunsel rests his face against them and he lets out a sigh.

the murky waters of his past are being kicked up with more ferocity than he expected.

the familiarity of such things burns him, brings a bitter, mirthless smile to his mouth. a shin-ra cover-up in nibelheim would hardly be the first of its kind there. sephiroth may not be able to recall what they pertained to, but he knows they've happened, has seen file after file with [REDACTED] in bold, threatening red.

most of them are about him.

maybe this isn't so out of the ordinary, if he really bends his thought on it; there's more than a decade missing at the beginning of his life, isn't there? nothing he recalls before wutai, as though all of it had been erased, but he always thought it was better that he hadn't known, despite the mystery surrounding where he'd come from. angeal and genesis had been luckier, and—and they—

they were both dead, weren't they? or, no—angeal was. genesis... it was less certain. sephiroth had expected to run into him. sometime. maybe not in nibelheim, but eventually. there had been a leak at the reactor to investigate, such a simple thing, and maybe he had thought nothing of it. or everything of it. he'd spent so much time in the data archives, uncovering tidbit after tidbit. looking for old records, pulling up whatever copies or originals he could find, comparing, trying to figure out what had been hidden where.

there was something in red on one sheet that was black on another, a name. a warning he did not obey. a warning he chased the way he kept chasing genesis, and something he was afraid of the way he'd been afraid of genesis. there were too many secrets, too many undone too quickly.

a reckoning, coming. and his head had hurt so very, very terribly and he couldn't name why. he remembers nibelheim. the old buildings that looked like they had stood for hundred or more years.

"i wasn't there."

not himself—not really.

some of it comes to him. dimly, slowly. he takes another long drink of water, feeling as though it isn't enough and holding the cup to his chest as he thinks, wondering if he should think, as if some great shadow looms over his mind and holds everything at bay. the way zack had looked at him; an unnatural laughter springing from his own lips. the flashing of blue eyes that he knew, and sephiroth had said, cruel and unnatural and resenting all that was lain before him: you will rot.

"kunsel." he remembers that, a little; the beginnings of a friendship, easily kindled after zack fair had shown sephiroth that there was more. more beyond genesis and angeal, that there had to be or else there would be nothing left for him. there was kinship and there was trust to be found, and now, it might as well be all he has. "my mother wasn't in nibelheim either, was she? hadn't i gone to look for her?"

[ciitreae]

I love how you claim to have this sever for EVERYONE and it's all a bunch of bullshit. You host a chat full of immature and completely inept writers. And you're so fucking bias it makes me sick. You’re a terrible mod.

i love how you continue to talk shit about a server you keep claiming you thought was annoying and awful? like if you didn’t like it then why are you SO MAD about being kicked. which, you were kicked for talking shit. do you really think you can just run the fuck around and trash talk people and no one’s gonna say anything? and we’re immature and inept now. i guess you never paid attention all that well. which, oh wait! you didn’t. why are you gonna complain about a server not being what you want, but then you never did anything to contribute to making the server better even though all the mods were actively trying to work with other members to figure out what direction we wanted to go in? why were y’all mad about it not being professional enough for you when we stated it was just a hangout spot from the very beginning? how are we biased for the people who participate the most talking to each other because we actually had the chance to get to know each other? because i only knew TWO people out of everyone in that server before joining it, so how could i be biased to or against anyone except for them. how were any of us terrible mods for not bending to whatever it was you wanted, when you never made it clear what you wanted. how were any of us terrible mods for running a chill server exactly like a chill server. if you wanted something else you could have just left, and left it alone. instead you had to bitch, get ratted out, and by the way you’d be so surprised to learn it isn’t who you’re blaming, and now you’re crying about getting banned and sending anon hate like you think it means shit. put on a lil mask so you don’t get rona and consider going outside. bye

[ciitreae]

its a hot day, and angeals stripped down to his fatigues, midday light streaming through the blinds. they dont get off days like this often, and he intends to savor it. his hand furls warmly over sephiroth's, and, ' can i .. uh.. kiss you? '

@penence

any time they can spend outside of shin-ra is always precious, and sephiroth wishes he knew the words that harness his gratitude, how to trace the shape of it and show it to those he loves. that word alone might be enough, perhaps, but as of yet he remains unsure if he's worthy of it—contents himself in these moments that have always felt stolen and therefore much more valuable than anything else.

there's a quiet to everything he's certain would startle. who else besides himself and genesis know how very soft angeal's voice can be? between all of them, a vulnerability, and between sephiroth and angeal, some manner of release of expectation, letting the military set ease out of their shoulders.

(and who would know that angeal's hands were such delicate things when not wrapped around a sword-hilt?)

sephiroth knows the answer to the question he's given, even though he doesn't answer it aloud, not yet. this closeness has never bothered him, and he thinks perhaps it never will. it's so easy to lean in, to dip his head that oddly subservient way that angeal finally makes feel comfortable as he had never been comfortable before him, before them. before this.

easy to bring his lips to angeal's for that taste of earth and warmth from his mouth, even before he says, "of course."

[ciitreae]

petitepistol‌:

Oh no. Where did he come from?

It was already rare enough when he appeared in her department, but why had he done so in the middle of a very specific brand of Turk team-building that would just look like petty sniping to any well-adjusted human being? Actually, come to think of it, was he even all that well-adjusted? One time she saw him eating an entire jar of peanut butter in the stairwell during the lunch rush, so maybe not.

At least he hadn’t gone completely pale at her below the belt veiled threat. That was the kind of fortitude she liked to see from SOLDIER.

“General! What brings you to the office?”

“copy of a reconnaissance report from a collaborative mission three days ago.”

there, at least, was the answer to her question—sephiroth is of the mind to say several other things, but he thinks very few of them merit how startled she seems. a reaction he often garners, although why... well, he can name why, but he simply doesn’t think it’s relevant anymore.

(many things aren’t relevant anymore; he knows most of these types of files are digitized and can be e-mailed, but sephiroth simply prefers to do things by hand, and may be a large part of why any department still has paper reports; but such things aren’t so easily edited, redacted, and saved over.)

silence lingers for only a moment, a pointed pause where sephiroth’s gaze courses over the young woman. “miss elena, i believe the ease of the aforementioned task also depends on the assailant’s height. you might find that you’re not as capable as you think.”

[ciitreae]

petitepistol‌:

“Taller people are easier to knee in the crotch.”

[ciitreae]

taciturnrebel replied to your post: junreishaa replied to your post: ...

what’s the spectators fee?

fried chocobo chicken wing

[ciitreae]

junreishaa replied to your post: post up if you got a problem

i’ll fight you.

meet me at big hole in 2 hours if you want an ass kicking

[ciitreae]

post up if you got a problem

[ciitreae]

vetlanwrites replied to your post: shakes up a can of write juice and hands it to u...

WAIT NO THAT WASNT THE PLAN

[ciitreae]

shakes up a can of write juice and hands it to u haha dummy now when you open it its gonna fizz everywhere

@vetlanwrites

haha dummy now when i open it sephiroth’s gonna break kunsel’s heart are you happy with yourself?? fucker

[ciitreae]

can i get a fuckin uhhhhh WRITE JUICE

[ciitreae]

angeal with and without mako influence. still figuring out how i wanna draw him but!