church-bread-official

[church-bread-official]

so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw

[church-bread-official]

I know this happens and it looks suspicious but

this image? we have every reason to think it is a cucumber, like it was made in clay models in burials period, it's painted green, it's on the small side of things (9.6 cm or 3 3/4 inch)

oh right and it was placed on a model offering table with small model bread and drinking cup

sometimes a cucumber really is a cucumber.

[church-bread-official]

What's all this talk about a bread maker? We thought those were just called bakers?

I went to check if my breadmaker has a cake setting bc of you and it does. BRB trying to scheme a way to trick my dad into getting me a cake mix so I don't have to pay for getting a yummy cake

You could pay for the cake mix, the cheap ones are like one or two dollars

[church-bread-official]

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

[church-bread-official]

community feature feeding into my urge to run experiments on this website like small rodents or perhaps ants

[church-bread-official]

6’5 anon come back..

[church-bread-official]

Beer. Did you know beer can b used to replace yeast in bread? It's bcus beer has yeast in it!

if i were a drink i’d be cherry vanilla coke

[church-bread-official]

Everyone talks about the wonderbread guy but nobody talks about how the wonderbread isn't necessarily the fetish object - it's supposed to symbolize like overcommodification or something. Like wonderbread is such a synthetic suburban concoction it implies wherever it is, that area has become gentrified and mown over by capitalism and this like caricature of commodification. That's why all the other pics the dude commissions are women (typically white and blonde) chopping down forests and stuff. The fetish isn't the bread. The fetish is this extreme caricature of earth and culture being consumed by the unstoppable force of like. Sterile Kroger marketability and commerce. That's why the women are always BUYING the bread and not like, fucking it. Its not about the loaves people. It's about Karen Bad End TF.

[church-bread-official]

Mold x calico cats!

[church-bread-official]

offended a lot of south asians with that "naan bread" my guy

naan = bread naan bread = bread bread smh

Yeah bread! I want two breads, naan bread. I want two of them.

[church-bread-official]

Yeah...

[church-bread-official]

[church-bread-official]

the plague: stay inside

everyone: i must bake Bread, immediately

[church-bread-official]

If ur still having issues with this, from this founders perspective and from their recipes, put ur lukewarm water and yeast together and stir and then wait 5-15 minutes until the yeast starts to foam and Then add the sugar. Don't add it too soon bcus it may mess up the process!! Also! Don't forget the temperature of the room may also be affecting if your yeast reacts or not as well!

While yeast are living things we don't think they hate you! They're just very specific little things :)

can someone please tell me if it's possible for yeast to personally hate you. bc i stg. i put it in warm (not hot) water. i put in sugar. i let it sit there. i look at the best by date on the package 20 times. i remember every other time i've tried to make yeast work and it never has. like what does she have against me PERSONALLY

[church-bread-official]

A bread is one of the most vulnerable animals on earth of all time. It can die in a number of different ways, which include being smashed, being old, being rottened, being crumpled up, getting too hot, having water put on it, and having water not on it but being in the air a lot (the water (mist)). The bread’s favorite way to die is being eaten, but the world is a complicated place, and it does not care for what the bread wants, and so it dies in a variety of ways which are not the preference of the bread.

Humans are considered the bread’s natural predator, and also, are the bread’s mommy (make/give birth to the bread). Humans are a large species of ant or plant or ele phant with two grasping appendages which they use to give birth to the bread. They also have one hole which eats the bread, and some other holes, which the bread is not allowed near, generally.

Some bread can go in the fridge. Some bread has fruit in it. Scientists don’t know why, as putting fruit in the bread is considered yucky, and scientists have difficulty imagining an organism that likes yucky things.

There is the anteater, which is an organism that likes yucky things, but scientists do not need to imagine it, because it is real.

[church-bread-official]

A bread is one of the most vulnerable animals on earth of all time. It can die in a number of different ways, which include being smashed, being old, being rottened, being crumpled up, getting too hot, having water put on it, and having water not on it but being in the air a lot (the water (mist)). The bread’s favorite way to die is being eaten, but the world is a complicated place, and it does not care for what the bread wants, and so it dies in a variety of ways which are not the preference of the bread.

Humans are considered the bread’s natural predator, and also, are the bread’s mommy (make/give birth to the bread). Humans are a large species of ant or plant or ele phant with two grasping appendages which they use to give birth to the bread. They also have one hole which eats the bread, and some other holes, which the bread is not allowed near, generally.

Some bread can go in the fridge. Some bread has fruit in it. Scientists don’t know why, as putting fruit in the bread is considered yucky, and scientists have difficulty imagining an organism that likes yucky things.

There is the anteater, which is an organism that likes yucky things, but scientists do not need to imagine it, because it is real.

[church-bread-official]