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i'll never forgive what theyve done to my phone, i get a new phone and for like 2 years it has a beautifully long lived battery where i literally only had to charge it after 10 days of regular use. and then they have the audacity to force some stupid shit update on it that just completely breaks it so now charging it takes all night and the battery is drained instantly GROW UP

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it's impossible to write cyberpunk fiction any more

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“the arts and sciences are completely separate fields that should be pitted against each other” the overlap of the arts and sciences make up our entire perceivable reality they r fucking on the couch

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fuck it

had to eliminate some more specific ones for space, shout out to “intelligent alien species have not developed advanced technologies”

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You can tell a lot about the health of a civilization by their warning signs. Places with a lot of dumb folks will have very broad, very dumb warnings in public. "No feeding the birds." "Stop swimming in this drainage pond." That kind of thing.

Advanced civilizations have very precise signs. They've covered the bases of their regular, run-of-the-mill idiots, and now they're working hard to cover that other end of the bell curve: the talented idiot. When I was in Germany last time, there was a big warning sign that consisted of a 76-letter-long word that means "stop bothering this particular goose, Sven." I don't know who Sven was, but the goose looked pretty calm. It worked.

Now, I have a secret to tell you. You can just make your own signs. There's no law against it, except perhaps "littering," and the municipal sign factory doesn't have very good security. If you show up there past close and put in the door code that you shoulder-surfed off one of the employees returning from lunch a week prior, you have all night to fuck around with their sign-printing machine, making the most official-looking placards you can think of.

Is this wrong? I don't think so. It's a public space, and being able to put up an aluminum sign that says wacky crank shit is your right. For instance, just last week, I banned pickup trucks from parking by the playground. The cops figured out something was going on, because they didn't get any calls for toddlers getting backed over for a couple of days and sent a patrol truck to investigate. Took my sign right down.

What I discovered after that is that nobody keeps records of what signs are supposed to be there. Why would anyone put up a sign for no reason? They cost money, after all. The city is now suing the shit out of that officer for stealing the "no trucks" sign, thanks to an anonymous tipster who called in the theft. Guy wearing a reflective vest came by and put like four more of them up after the lawsuit made the news, just out of spite. I'm not entirely sure if he's actually a city worker; we ran into each other at 3am at the sign factory and just grunted. He was working on some really crazy signs about not feeding a particular swan. Probably German.

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Life here I come - Sampsa Sarparanta, 2025.

Finnish, b. 1973 -

Oil on board , 122 x 182 cm.

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where is all the art that perfectly appeals specifically to my exact tastes and desires and nobody elses

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have you seen the new paper about Prototaxites

I HAVE…it already was weird enough when we thought it was a giant pillar of fungus but now it’s a giant pillar of mystery. Wish we knew more of what the hell these guys were..

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Unintentionally ominous sign a friend took a photo of at a JoAnn's that's closing.

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Bornean Peacock-Pheasant (Polyplectron schleiermacheri), family Phasianidae, order Galliformes, Borneo

ENDANGERED.

photograph by Henrick Tan

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I hate cooking! Why you gotta take so long to make, huh meal!?

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When I was a child I used to spit into rivers so a part of me would be carried to the ocean and become one with the sea

You know I wish I had this mentality as a child because that’s so cool

I was the kid that chased after venomous snakes and raccoons and mice

I could have been spitting in rivers and joining the sea but nope I decided to court death