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A lot of people these days talk about how vacuum tubes are "warmer." This is preposterous nonsense. That is, unless you talk about the sheer amount of waste heat they crank out. That is actually quite substantial. Hey, don't get your fingerprints on the glass. You'll fuck it all up.

Recently, one of my friends got into vintage stereos. And if you know anyone into vintage stereos, you know there's no such thing as being "just a little bit" into them. His basement went from reasonably empty to being stuffed to the brim with sick Pioneers, ailing Sansuis, and even something that I think might be a crude Soviet-Polish knock-off of a Marantz. None of them work, but all of them are beloved treasures. Coincidentally, the purchase of them all also sent a bunch of scrapyard owners' kids to college.

Obviously, this is an unnatural state of things. Nobody can listen to all these stereos at the same time. If you tried, you'd go insane, like that guy who robbed the Piggly Wiggly on the interstate because his car was tuned into two Top 40 stations simultaneously. Saucy British pop starlets only tell you to commit horrible crimes in your dreams, buddy. Not speaking through your car stereo. I wanted to help my friend before he became one of these dire statistics. I knew that I had to return his basement to the natural state of being, but how?

At once, I hit upon it. I would simply take some of my excess car parts, and store them in his basement. That's what everyone is supposed to store in their basement: primo speed parts that are "waiting for the right project." I left his place that night with a smug sense of satisfaction. Once he woke up in the morning, saw that he had a bunch of turbos, and maybe a couple axles for an indeterminate Italian sports coupe, he'd stop worrying about dumb old radios and start getting obsessed about what really matters: accumulating car parts.

Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on what would happen to my basement as soon as a square inch of space was cleared. The reason why I hadn't been caught by my snoozing buddy when I was over at his place was simple. He wasn't snoozing at all! The motherfucker was in my basement, filling the now-vacant space that used to contain Miata differentials and Detroit Diesel superchargers with stereos!

I don't think I can complain too much. After all, it is free storage, and if my house burns down, at least some of my hoard will be safe over at his place. Plus, fiddling around with the unresponsive tuner on this rusty ol' Onkyo has been a nice departure from having to carry around heavy car parts.

Hey, that's funny. Come here, check this out. If I hold it just like this, I can get both of the Top 40 stations at the same time. What's that, Katy Perry? You want me to rob the Piggly Wiggly?

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stop trying to be palatable, stop trying to be palatable, stop

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one time i was in an olive garden bathroom and my packer fell out of my shorts and this ten year old boy just looked at me with absolute terror and without thinking i said "that's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables" later i saw him eating salad at a speed no human should be capable of

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Fellas....

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there is a specific type of politics that i find a lot among artists of colour of my generation living in the west where we talk a lot about war and empire and racism and it's a lot of like decolonization buzzwords and talking about "embodied approaches to collaboration and knowledge production" and bringing science and ecology and historic cultural practices into our art and there is this heavy emphasis on the mutual aid instagram infographics thing and it constantly feels Iike everyone around me is dancing around an understanding that is just outside of their grasp and i think its because everyone is afraid of marxism in an explicit sense, rather than just the vague defanged "leftist" sense, which isn't a coherent ideology at all nor an actual Foundation of tools through which we can seek to understand the world. the scientific method for understanding economics is dialectical materialism, and to truly understand how capitalism and colonialism and patriarchy function you need to be willing to learn materialist analysis. like to actually understand What imperialism is and how it differs from colonialism, the actual material function(s) of capitalism and Why things are the way they are, to see with clear eyes the roles of racism and homophobia and transphobia and ableism, and to write and make art about it in the way I think many people desire to, where you are not dancing around an understanding of the realities of the world but actually biting through the meat of it, you need to understand materialism, you need to understand that imperialism is not the same thing as colonialism it is the highest stage of capitalism, and really dig into that. otherwise my peers will just keep dancing in circles and saying things that not only do not reflect reality but actively benefit the systems that harm us as well as the billions of our people who do not live in the west, and all the jargon like "we are decolonizing our mindsets with multidisciplinary ecologies" or whatever will never actually like... have the impact that is desired because it's not touching the face of reality idk how else to say it. like what are we doing here lol

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that picture of the little boy holding a puppy and smiling with the writing on the bottom that says hi daddy this is my doggy chelsea isn’t she cute i love you and the picture of the cat with the writing that says our michael… pet photos of all time

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What a re the most yummy nutritiotis summer vegetables i can steal from gardens

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slowing intuiting the rules and goals of solitaire through trial and error on what the computer does and does not let me do rather than looking up the rules because it's a much funnier way to learn

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noone on Instagram properly appreciated my meme of king henry the eighth saying "off with her head. i mean they"

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good evening. are u avoiding pain or seeking joy

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the world is fucked but u cant be a pussy about it legit u gotta stay hard

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How do I tell if a college's academic program is actually good quality because this one seems like it's shit quality

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recognising your parent's mannerisms in yourself and physically feeling psychic damage occur

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"Yeah but were you like born a boy or a girl?"

I was born against my wishes and have spent the past 30 years figuring out how to make everyone else regret it more than I do. Next question.