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barista: i have you’re brandè frappo whippy whap with an extra gunk of chumble

me: *walking to the counter and my clown shoes honk with each step*

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every shade of pink is so phenomenal

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Hot hot hot hot chocolate

HEY WE GOT IT

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i wish i could have been alive when gods would regularly come down from the heavens and fuck the brains out of mortals for no reason other than they felt like it 

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pebble: finally… after 6 million long years I have finally washed up on shore. no longer am I a slave to the tides, no long-

me [picking up pebble and chucking it into the ocean]: haha sploosh

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1900 as a whole century is so wild to me like it started off without people having sliced bread and it ended with seinfeld on TV 

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She’s a goofy little gremlin :P

- @teddy-the-dingo

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holy shit i have the best idea

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Present day me traveling back in time: listen to me, do not take that my chemical romance sticker off your laptop

12 year old me: holy shit you’re in such good shape

Present day me: *slaps myself* bitch this is important. Stay away from Gage. You’ll meet him at a party. He’ll be wearing an Avenged Sevenfold shirt.

12 year old me: *choking back tears* p-party?

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that moment of intimacy with the person who adjusts your seat belt on a roller coaster